Why Do People Hate Self-Diagnosers?
btbnnyr
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Joined: 18 May 2011
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I think support should be based on need for support, so people with same diagnosis would not necessarily get same support. Resources are limited, some people need support more, it makes sense to give more to those who need it more and less to those who need it less. Need is sometimes clear, sometimes unclear. The person with mild ambiguous needs asking for support should think about how much they need it, what they will do with it, how they can help themselves off it later, so resources may be freed to other people, perhaps like them, who may need some period of support.
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I haven't read through the entire thread however, I myself have suspected that I am on the spectrum for some time. My eldest son (10 yo) was diagnosed a year ago and it was a long fight to get this (back and forth with professionals since he was 4yo). It was during my battle to get him diagnosed that I realised our similarities and over time my family have admitted that they believe I am probably 'a bit special' too. Personally I believe there is a hereditary link. My grandfather displayed many Aspie traits and I noticed my husband leans that way also, that is most likely the only reason our relationship works at all. We understand each other. I have another son who displays similar behaviour to his diagnosed brother but no one wants to believe there is anything different about him since he has learned to mask it in school to avoid getting into trouble...but I digress.
As a married mother with children who has managed to hold down jobs (albeit infrequently) I doubt I would get a diagnosis at age 33 although I have thought many times about it. The reality is from the outside, I do not appear any different so that is the accepted assumption made. Sometimes this bothers me, other times I don't care. I have pondered what an official diagnosis offers me, if I ever got one. The short answer is, probably not a lot other than confirming what I already suspect.
What I am trying to say is, I don't think self diagnosis is wrong. I knew my son was different before he got the diagnosis, everyone did, getting it confirmed in writing didn't change who he is or how we dealt with him, it just gave the added cushion of knowing that if he encountered difficulties it would be ever so slightly easier to get him the help he needed.
I don't see anything wrong with "self-diagnosis," either.
One must remember that there are some people who split hairs on this issue based on semantics. Or based on a belief that Aspergers/Autism is the "disease of the week" and people are fighting to get on the bandwagon.
The only way one could judge if someone is autistic/Asperger's is to meet that person in real life, and observe that person constantly over a period of couple of days.
Otherwise, to cast doubts about people's own impressions, I believe, is not the correct way to go about things.
I take people on their word--unless I see conclusive evidence to the contrary.
nerdygirl
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Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.
One must remember that there are some people who split hairs on this issue based on semantics. Or based on a belief that Aspergers/Autism is the "disease of the week" and people are fighting to get on the bandwagon.
The only way one could judge if someone is autistic/Asperger's is to meet that person in real life, and observe that person constantly over a period of couple of days.
Otherwise, to cast doubts about people's own impressions, I believe, is not the correct way to go about things.
I take people on their word--unless I see conclusive evidence to the contrary.
Thank-you!
I appreciate also that you said one must be observed constantly. I wonder how much the therapists can see when they only meet with someone in a manufactured setting. The only people who *really* see my problems are family and friends, the people who see the intimate details of my life, who know the interior of my house and the pattern of my clothing and the functioning of my relationships. I can get by most of the time in regular social and work situations because they are short and limited, and I work for myself.
Really, is the checkout guy at the grocery store going to notice if I am odd? Probably not.
But my mother sure knew I forgot her birthday three years in a row at one point earlier in my life.
This is why the people *closest* to me have not blinked an eye when I have mentioned this and have even agreed with me that I am likely on the spectrum. One being my mother, who is a nurse that works with kids on the spectrum. That's all I need.
I make do. I have learned how to manage. Do I do as well as NTs? No. But I don't really need support (other than camaraderie and morale). I'm not taking funds from anyone nor am I clogging up the system scheduling tests that will do nothing for me except to confirm my suspicions. Just let me be and accept me the way I am. That's what we all want, yes?
AngelRho
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One must remember that there are some people who split hairs on this issue based on semantics. Or based on a belief that Aspergers/Autism is the "disease of the week" and people are fighting to get on the bandwagon.
The only way one could judge if someone is autistic/Asperger's is to meet that person in real life, and observe that person constantly over a period of couple of days.
Otherwise, to cast doubts about people's own impressions, I believe, is not the correct way to go about things.
I take people on their word--unless I see conclusive evidence to the contrary.
Thank-you!
I appreciate also that you said one must be observed constantly. I wonder how much the therapists can see when they only meet with someone in a manufactured setting. The only people who *really* see my problems are family and friends, the people who see the intimate details of my life, who know the interior of my house and the pattern of my clothing and the functioning of my relationships. I can get by most of the time in regular social and work situations because they are short and limited, and I work for myself.
Really, is the checkout guy at the grocery store going to notice if I am odd? Probably not.
But my mother sure knew I forgot her birthday three years in a row at one point earlier in my life.
This is why the people *closest* to me have not blinked an eye when I have mentioned this and have even agreed with me that I am likely on the spectrum. One being my mother, who is a nurse that works with kids on the spectrum. That's all I need.
I make do. I have learned how to manage. Do I do as well as NTs? No. But I don't really need support (other than camaraderie and morale). I'm not taking funds from anyone nor am I clogging up the system scheduling tests that will do nothing for me except to confirm my suspicions. Just let me be and accept me the way I am. That's what we all want, yes?
I like it!
One must remember that there are some people who split hairs on this issue based on semantics. Or based on a belief that Aspergers/Autism is the "disease of the week" and people are fighting to get on the bandwagon.
The only way one could judge if someone is autistic/Asperger's is to meet that person in real life, and observe that person constantly over a period of couple of days.
Otherwise, to cast doubts about people's own impressions, I believe, is not the correct way to go about things.
I take people on their word--unless I see conclusive evidence to the contrary.
Thank-you!
I appreciate also that you said one must be observed constantly. I wonder how much the therapists can see when they only meet with someone in a manufactured setting. The only people who *really* see my problems are family and friends, the people who see the intimate details of my life, who know the interior of my house and the pattern of my clothing and the functioning of my relationships. I can get by most of the time in regular social and work situations because they are short and limited, and I work for myself.
Really, is the checkout guy at the grocery store going to notice if I am odd? Probably not.
But my mother sure knew I forgot her birthday three years in a row at one point earlier in my life.
This is why the people *closest* to me have not blinked an eye when I have mentioned this and have even agreed with me that I am likely on the spectrum. One being my mother, who is a nurse that works with kids on the spectrum. That's all I need.
I make do. I have learned how to manage. Do I do as well as NTs? No. But I don't really need support (other than camaraderie and morale). I'm not taking funds from anyone nor am I clogging up the system scheduling tests that will do nothing for me except to confirm my suspicions. Just let me be and accept me the way I am. That's what we all want, yes?
I had this very problem with limited observation and my son. An Educational Psychologist spent twenty mins in a class watching him when he was 4 and determined he seemed to be interacting and behaving appropriately. I couldn't believe it, at the time I argued how a person could properly assess a child they had only witnessed in a ridiculously limited period of time.
I too have learned to make do in life. My family are slowly trying to accept me the way I am but it's tough, I'm often told I'm rude, unsociable and that I am a hard person to love sometimes I just want to be left alone for the most part and they can't understand that.
I too have learned to make do in life. My family are slowly trying to accept me the way I am but it's tough, I'm often told I'm rude, unsociable and that I am a hard person to love sometimes I just want to be left alone for the most part and they can't understand that.
There are experienced psychologists who rather than rely on a battery of tests focus on key repetitive behaviors or lack of eye contact (I agree it's not always conclusive). You are entitled to get a second opinion except they will charge you another $400 for an assessment.
I too have learned to make do in life. My family are slowly trying to accept me the way I am but it's tough, I'm often told I'm rude, unsociable and that I am a hard person to love sometimes I just want to be left alone for the most part and they can't understand that.
There are experienced psychologists who rather than rely on a battery of tests focus on key repetitive behaviors or lack of eye contact (I agree it's not always conclusive). You are entitled to get a second opinion except they will charge you another $400 for an assessment.
I'm in the UK but he has since been reassessed and now has an official diagnosis. I was merely highlighting the fact that too often even the so-called professionals seem to take things at face value.
Eh because it looks like attention whoring I guess. Autism is something you need a real diagnosis just like any other mental impairment I guess. On another forum that I visit there were a few people who used Autism as well as being suicidal or some other thing as an excuse for their weird behaviour (starting awkward threads, creating drama etc). But it more looks like bored lonely people just doing things for attention because they can. There were are a few members on that forum that really are autistic but they don't cause that kind of trouble. Maybe that's why self-diagnosers are not so much liked? O_o
I have that problem but have never blamed it on autism, few others have. That is why I don't make threads because I don't know how they will be interpreted as like if I am trying to start a drama here or provoke anyone, etc. I am shy about making threads now.
I notice when a drama gets started, people always assume it's intentional and that the person loves it.
I kind of find it ironic that lot of aspies seem to have no issues with communication on forums and socializing and for me it's hard because they seem to fit in and get along well with other users. It's like they have better social skills.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I notice when a drama gets started, people always assume it's intentional and that the person loves it.
I kind of find it ironic that lot of aspies seem to have no issues with communication on forums and socializing and for me it's hard because they seem to fit in and get along well with other users. It's like they have better social skills.
That and they talk about all these hidden meanings... the only "hidden meanings" are when I'm joking around on the more silly threads, but I've seen claims here I am twisting words and all sorts of things I really am not doing - they tell me of all these hidden messages and I don't understand
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