Optimism and Reality: Goldfish21 Response to me

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His name is Richard Branson. I met him once. Amazing human being.

Your definitions of some things vary slightly from mine, but not enough to matter.

Your post reminds me of how I thought, functioned, and operated at my Aspiest ~ 6 years ago. I was fortunate to be working part time for a friend of mine who had attended his first level of medical school and thus was a fair bit more understanding. I'd analyze my symptoms and try to explain them to him & we'd both try to work with it. I remember at one point when my executive functions were horrendous and slipping further that my thoughts & functions became very binary & computer code like. I explained the symptoms to him and told him he literally had to give my yes/no black & white input/instructions & options as if I were a computer/program. He's a hobby coder, so he recognized what I meant and worked with me on it during that time.

Seems like such a distant past now. What a bizarre time in my life. I don't envy you experiencing that as your existence every day. A bunch of the rest of your stereotypical ASD traits listed are ones I once experienced strongly, too. Like introspective philosophical thinking vs. being present and focused in the outside world. Also, your request for detailed explanations & parameters for all kinds of things.. at my Aspiest, I understand the want/need for CLEAR explanations & instructions vs. the fuzzy NT interpretations of things. Thing is, NT's aren't being intentionally fuzzy. The reason they don't give CLEAR expl/inst is because they're not necessary. It's not about initiative. It's about intuitive. These variables, social norms, all sorts of things.. they just "happen," for NT's w/o any particular focused effort, so they have a difficult time verbalizing instructions for them.. because no one writes instructions for unwritten rules - and these rules are unwritten because there isn't a Need for them to be documented or communicated verbally or in text etc.. because people just instinctively, intuitively, know & act accordingly live in the moment w/o any thought or energy devoted to it. Meanwhile, IF you had written instructions, as someone experiencing strong ASD symptoms even w/ the knowledge of these things you'd still have to do what's known in ASD as "intellectual processing," of every little detail of said social custom and it'd be mentally exhausting to do for a prolonged period... and I know this not only because I've read about it, but because I experienced it for many years, too.

Now, though? Nope. I mean, I'm not NT, I still have a variation in functioning levels and slip here and there and make mistakes.. but by and large and I am FAR more "intuitively connected," to the "hive mind," of the social world, and many things that would otherwise go right over my head now come as normally to me as breathing and I roll my eyes when someone else makes an obvious mistake. But that's me and that's because I've been treating my ASD symptoms for more than 4 years and no longer live the life experience that you are now. I've gone on about it in all these paragraphs because your post brought a flood of these memories back to me now.

Yourself? Right now, your assessment is fair. Your symptoms prevent you from being successful in nearly all jobs, if not all. You may be able to take on some coding work remotely.. code some project under contract for someone. Work online only. One of my deaf friends is a programmer & has a full time job + a business. His business employs ~10 software/electronic engineers. At least one of them he's told me about (that I haven't met) has ASD symptoms based on his description. So, some (whether diagnosed or not) can make it as software engineers despite the social issues they cause at work. My point is about my deaf friend, though. Being deaf is a little comparable to the Autism spectrum in the sense that they become socially isolated outside of the hearing world. He's still managed to use the internet to build a global business. Mind you, he is INCREDIBLY focused - way moreso than I am, usually. He's also paid programers from, I believe the Ukraine, to create some custom software for him. (It's a programming tool, sort of.) My point with that is that business people like him will outsource proejects to coders around the world who can produce GREAT code at a reasonable price - which is just one opportunity of countless ones on the internet for coders. I wouldn't say it's impossible for you to take on some coding project and solve some pretty cool math/coding problems for someone, create something cool, make some money doing it. You might be more suited for that than many other people. But doing so in a typical workplace? Probably not so much.. even at ASD friendly ones. Unless, of course, you managed to win the employment lottery and some company recognized skill & talent in you and decided to accept/tolerate all of your other quirks for the potential promise of a coding breakthrough worth $$$ to their firm - that's not impossible, either.. but let's face it, highly improbable.

ASD people don't get a pass from being socially acceptable like those in a wheelchair do from walking because ASD is an invisible disability. People don't look at me and think "He's disabled. He gets pass on that inappropriate joke he impulsively told." No. I simply have to accept that sometimes when I'm a bit "off," I say and do things that aren't ideal and I have to suffer the consequences of them. No one gives a flying f**k about my ASD but me and they're not going to listen to an uber long explanation of what ASD is and what my symptoms are and that I didn't intend to crack that off-puting joke. I just have to accept that sometimes I make mistakes, forgive myself for them, and move forward as best I can. The world will NEVER change to accept ASD behaviours as Okay. The ONLY thing we can do is adapt and change ourselves to fit in as best as we possibly can. Personally, the only way I've found to do that is via the various natural medicine/diet/supplements/treatment protocol I adhere to for myself.

So, yeah, as you are right now you're right - you're not likely to work. But it's been my experience that all of these symptoms can be treated - right down the fine motorskills/coordination. ~5-6 years ago at my worst I had a hard time using my fingers to tie my own shoes. That was weird.. and scary af to watch my nervous system functions deteriorate. Now? Now I'm apprenticing a finishing trade that requires a fair bit of fine motorskills & coordination to do.

IMO, which can only be based on my experiences, you're not going to be working anywhere unless you make the sorts of drastic diet/exercise/medicine changes in your life that I've done for myself And they're effective at keeping your symptoms under control like they are for me. Either you make an E X T R A O R D I N A R Y effort to improve & heal yourself, or, you accept your limitations and IF you work, you work within them. ie Maybe you take on an oddball coding contract here and there once every so often when something interesting comes along and you're in the mood to hyperfocus on solving that particular coding problem - there's potential monetary/commercial/economic value to that sort of sporadic work, too. Plus your tripped out ASD brain may actually solve some of those things better in your very ASD state of mind, too. Reminds me, I also found some forms of problem solving and creative solutions to engineering problems to be easier while much more ASD, but the crippling depression and anxiety that comes along with it is one big NOPE for me. Someone would have to pay me a lot of money to send my brain back to Autistic hell in order to work on some sort of industrial engineering problem for them IF I couldn't come up with a solution in my much more higher functioning state. Or the problem would have to be one that was worth far more than money. But hey, if you're in that state And can solve super cool problems, wth, have at it.

Oh, and employers asking for x years experience is their wishlist. If they had a candidate they wouldn't be advertising for the job. They may ask for 5 years experience but settle for 2. They also put things like that in job ads to weed people out who are not confident in themselves and their abilities. Someone with less experience should see that as an opportunity to sell themselves on how their relative newness & excitement make up for their lack of years of experience as they're determined to excel in their chosen field.

So, there ya go. There is no cut & dry answer to your query, only gray. So many different possibilities depending on what you choose.. you are the IF function. Depends on what you choose and how you want to approach ASD, work, money, life, coding etc. Hell, some people just code for a job & go home - don't care that they're not solving new neat problems etc. You've stated you can't operate like that, so maybe it isn't an option for you. w/e I think that's about all I have to say.. way too much lol. Can you work, make money, succeed at something? Maybe. In your current state it's a long shot & IMO about the only way to dramatically increase your odds would be to successfully treat your various symptoms first and foremost. Most people are not willing to do the hard disciplined work required to even make an attempt at it, or don't believe it's possible in the first place.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

GF, you said I could mix epson salt with my body wash right? If yes, what is a good amount per wash? I'm willing to try it somewhat with epson salt. Worst case is nothing happens and I feel like an idiot.

I've just found out that I'm spectacularly allergic to supplemental vitamin D, so not all protocols suit everyone, even if they're "natural" - (well, as natural as a vitamin supplement can be, which isn't very natural when you think about it).

I found out by breaking out in hives soon after taking them.
A bit of research revealed that 1 in 300 have an allergic reaction to supplemental D and it's more likely you'll react if you're also deficient in magnesium because D requires magnesium to metabolise, or something to that effect.
Anyway, I've stopped taking them, as well as applying magnesium oil, and the hives cleared up pretty quickly, just a bit of irritation in the nasal lining aka my nose is as itchy as hell!

Interesting.

I wonder if supplementing magnesium will allow you to supplement vitamin D w/o any negative effects. Have you tried it again yet while still using the magnesium oil?

I use epsom salt lotion on my skin for the magnesium and sulphur.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Have thought about trying them both together according to one of the web pages this can prevent the reaction, but want the current symptoms to clear up completely first.

Ugh, I'm sick of seeing this thread floating at the top of the GAD. Why don't the mods just sticky this thread?