You Might be an Aspie if...

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Lets say you will go jogging for *fun* or losing weight and there is no obligation about it:

''I will go jogging at 8 pm. OK. Oh no, it is already 6 pm! I am so tired. I don't want to, but I must. Wait, nobody/nothing forces me to go. But... Oh 2 hours left!''

Lets say you will meet with *friends* in a cafe:

''What will I do there? How will I respond to their jokes, gestures? They will surely want to go to a bar. How can I *be* there? Why should I endure gossip, noise, strong lights, ignorance, smell and stupidity to be accepted in society? WHY?! By the way, I should leave. What if I miss the bus? What if... F*ck this, I will find an excuse and play video games at home. YAY!''

You might be an Aspie if you're concerned about taking a geography course in college, because you know how stupid the average person is with geography and you're worried the class will be too easy. (Not to mention, world geography was one of your obsessions once, and you really want a class that will teach and challenge you sufficiently!)

You might be an Aspie if you think you have something funny to say, but then pause because you realize that it depends on a certain level of "common knowledge" for someone to understand, and you're not sure if most people would get it.

You might be an Aspie if you're very well aware of the concept of "false memories", but due to your photographic memory, you have been able to compare memories to actual photo/video evidence and have yet to have any of your recollections be proven wrong (and it sort of makes you wonder if it even happens to you at all?...)

You might be an Aspie if your significant other tells you about all the reasons that opening tabs (rather than whole windows) in a browser is so great, and despite his wonderful reasoning, you still keep 40+ different browser windows open at a time just because it's the way you always do it.


For brevity's sake, I'm not going to quote Ascagne's post (on page 221), but simply say- I agree with all of the above! Yes, I read it all. I also wholeheartedly agree that it's ridiculous how people complain, "That's too long to read" when they spend their whole day reading much more than that on Facebook or something. "TLDR" is an abbreviation that took me a long time to figure out, since "too long; didn't read" would never have been a thought that entered my mind!

.....the words ''he's/she's out with his/her mates'' makes you feel lonely

.....you've got 5 minutes 'til the next bus comes and you're right near the bus-station, and your friend says, ''oh, stay another hour and then get the next bus home'', and it makes you feel all indecisive, not to mention panicky, and no disrespect to your friend but somehow your mind is made up that you really must get this next bus that comes in 5 minutes, simply because you're near the bus-station

.....you don't want to go on holiday with your NT peers (like your cousins) because you know full well that the whole holiday would be based around dressing up, drinking and socialising at the bar and you just want to go on holiday to explore and have a good time, not to stand there watching your cousins chatting up the sexy cocktail waitress or the cute guy at the bar, people who they will never see again, or even remember, depending on how stupidly drunk they are

.....you really, really, really wish at least one of your cousins was an Aspie or had Down's or something like that so that you could have a better time going on holidays with them and you know that they are less likely to want to waste the whole holiday flirting around some leery stranger at the bar

.....it has taken you 22 years to figure out that people look for the 3 C's in other people (charm, charisma and confidence), not whether they have intentions that are right or wrong. You can prove that because your intentions are better than your sloppy cousin's, but she is more popular than you because she has charisma and self-confidence, no matter how crazy or naive her intentions might be otherwise

.....you wonder why the hell it is ''weird'' to not like drinking alcohol

.....you somehow feel all out of place when going out at night

.....walking from a quiet, dark street into a loud, bright-lighted disco place really sends fear through your body for some reason

.....every time you go out somewhere in walking distance, you time it so that you can coincide with the bus coming past (that is, if you're an Aspie who is obsessed with bus-drivers)

.....you want to constantly cry out for reassurance from your mum about things what petrify you, like the euro-collapsing, but know it's not worth it because your mum knows as much about it as you do and also it wouldn't be fair on your mum to have you crying and whining on at her for hours

.....you wish NTs had super brains so that they can watch TV and listen to you rambling on about your interests/anxieties at the same time

.....you wish you could re-live your High School life, but with the improved social skills that you have as an adult, and see how you would get on with improved social skills

.....you imagine you are the people that you are obsessed with when you're in bed

.....you get wound up when the internet keeps cutting out randomly (OK, maybe that's common in a lot of people)

.....you can bond with moths just like you can with people/pets

.....you get upset when somebody has gotten a fact wrong about your obsession

.....small things disturb you, things as tiny as somebody's tag sticking out of their clothes

.....you get in a panic when your mum or your auntie sneezes, because their types of sneezes are loud and make you feel agitated, and they do about 10 in a row

.....you get a stubborn thought or an overwhelming worry lodged in your mind, (over something very silly), and it plays about with your emotions, until you become so accustomed to it that you can't seem to stop it from getting to you

.....you find it really hard to make eye-contact with strangers passing in the street (this might be part of Social Phobia too)

.....you don't trust your brain and the weird things it does, to the point where you worry that you might suddenly wet the bed one night then becoming a habit, even though you have been potty-trained since you was 2 and a half

.....you have tantrums when it snows, because of your intense phobia you have of slipping on the ice in front of people in the street

.....irrational thoughts seem like facts to you, so that you are unsure of how to get rid of them, even if you go through a lot of therapy about it

...if when you talk about your special interests you start to tune out the environment around you as if you were the only one in existence.

...if you do everything in the exact same order in your morning and night routines.

...if pretty much your only friends in high school were your teachers and all your peers incessantly bullied you.

...if you live your life by using pure logic and common sense.

...if you get along with animals better than people because animals are rational beings that have a reason for all their behaviors.

You don't want to be a sea lion.

You might be an aspie if.....
you do algebra and calculus in your head but can't tell if your clothes match.
You stare at people without meaning to.
autocorrect drives you to tears
People have ever told you that you're weird repeatedly
You talk to your friend and they don't understand half of what you say
You can't sleep because Einstein's theory still hasn't clicked.
you remember everything about trains or chinchilla genetics but can't remember that page 4 is due tomorrow
Your teacher ever referred to you as their best math student, and you promptly wanted to crawl under a table because everyone is looking at you (true story)
Your teacher felt bad because she was unable to challenge you (true story)
one of your earliest memories is reading a book to a preschool classmate (true story)
you mouth everything possible (embarrassing but true)
People repeatedly ask you if you're trying to fly
your little sister's inaccuracies drove you to tears when your mother defended her (oh yeah)
You lost over 200 dollars trying to prove a point to your mom during an argument (unfortunately true)

[quote="Neuroman]

...you have to put the cursor over the emoticons to figure out what they mean...

...you find emoticons vaguely disturbing....

...someone says, oh that actress has such lovely blue eyes! and you realize you don't know the eye color of any actor in the movie you just saw...

...your room is a cross between a junkyard, a computer/electronics store and an eight year old child's room, yet you know where everything is..

...you obsessively collect things with parts (spirograph, lego, rush hour etc)

...you obsessively collect parts of things (pens, door knobs and locks, computers, venetian blinds, radios, kitchen gadgets, cameras, cd cases, game pieces...)

...you can tell if there's a spelling, grammar or math error in a document, but you can't tell what someone meant when they said visit anytime and it's a school for emotionally disturbed kids.
(someone telling me I did a good job on a crisis eval)

...you can read a hundred pages in a couple of hours but you can't read the expression on the face of the person you just asked for a date.

...your cat's behavior is more understandable than most human behavior.

...you're good at puzzles but human behavior puzzles you.

...you're laughing while reading this [/quote]
I read about 100 pages in 1-2 hours
Humans make no sense
If your mom has you scan her tax stuff
If eye contact is unbearably awkward
You might be an Aspie.

You might be an Aspie if...

...family/friends hear you've had an accident, and instead of calling with sympathy, they call and say "What did you do to yourself THIS time?"
...you're a champion Trivial Pursuit player, yet your power keeps getting turned off because you forget to pay the bill
...you've ever gone into a store to inform them that a sign on their outdoor display has a misspelling (did I spell that right?)
... you are knowledgeable about so many topics, that family members have taken to calling you "Cliff" after the know-it-all postman on "Cheers" (I even got a birthday cake with "Happy Birthday Cliff" on it this year.)
...you haven't joined Twitter because you KNOW you can NEVER write a post with only 140 characters
...a friend tells you there's "nothing to do in this town", so you make a list of EVERYTHING to do in town, sorted by type of activity (sports, culture, festival, etc.), and email it to her
....you've watched TV shows and then drawn out the floorplan of the characters' home to make sure the traffic flow matches what you see on screen (I did that with The Munsters, Leave It to Beaver, Bewitched and The Brady Bunch...I know I'm old -- sue me.)
...you've only read 6 pages of this thread and you're laughing like a maniac because you can identify with nearly every post

A few more....
...if you take apart your restaurant hamburgers to re-arrange the toppings so you get a mix of every taste with every bite.
...if you've ever been accused of being "too honest" -- I once drove five miles to return a ink pen to a bank because I had accidentally picked it up and the teller didn't specifically tell me that I could have it.
...every time you leave the house, you notice a out-of-state license plate because...well...you notice license plates.
...you've mentioned to every nurse in your doctor's office that the emergency escape maps are in the wrong rooms.
...you ask around to find out some information, only to find out that you already know more about the topic than anyone you know.
...you failed Art in high school because the art supplies were in the middle of the table for everyone to share, and you wouldn't use them because you were too shy to reach over.
...you've left your Christmas tree up until June
..the .smell of a bookstore can get you high
...an episode of M*A*S*H bothers you because Radar refers to a Godzilla movie, and you know that M*A*SH was set during the Korean Conflict 1951-1953, and Godzilla was released until 1954.
...you can rock back and forth, twiddle your thumbs and shake your foot at the same time -- and don't realize you're doing it until someone points it out.
...your hygiene issues stem from the fact that you don't like the way the water feels on your dry skin, but once you get in the shower you don't want to get out.
...you set your clocks to the Atomic Clock in Denver so you KNOW they're right.
...you have more trouble finding things after you've cleaned house than before you started.
...you recite the U.S. states in backwards alphabetical order to get to sleep.

...if the neighborhood comes to you at all hours to fix their computer...

...if everyone you know calls you a genius until you are sick of it, and they wonder why you can't get hired anywhere...

...if you are the go-to guy for help with school science projects...

...if the neighbors and their friends want to help you make your own fireworks for new years and the 4th of July...

...if those are the only times the neighbors ever see you...

...if you break down and call tech support, only to find you already know everything they do and a lot more...

...if people ask you for the dates of random events, both personal and historical, but you can't remember your errands and housework for the day...

... you get annoyed when your parents get home from work before 5pm (which is when they usually get home).

... you get annoyed when the postman's not on time.

... you have problems starting projects and you tend to forget doing certain things (like throwing out old food).

... you feel like you could really contribute to this thread but you're a bit worried you might be considered a liar since you're not completely sure you've got AS. Then you spend a lot of time over-thinking the whole situation.

... you visualise the literal meaning of a metaphor even if you actually understand the metaphor ("it's raining cats and dogs" for example).

You only like to look after the most important person in your life (yourself silly if you had to ask) because after your life experiences to do other wise would be just dumb and where talking George Bush poo dumb as in " I cant get this door open" dumb

Tip Georgie Boy handle goes down , push inwards to go in to a room , outwards if you want to remove yourself from a room,

easy peasie japanisie