You Might be an Aspie if...

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When you obsessively push refresh to see if the page has changed.
When you have more of an emotional attachment to your objects/ items than people.

...you amass a collection perfectly matching shoes and handbags, and end up wearing the same comfortable old boots every day
...you want to say something, you have to say it and despite your husband leaving the room you are following him round insisting on telling him anyway
...instead of talking directly to your colleagues you send them very long emails...which they don't read
...people think you have been a medical secretary because you find it easy to start spouting relevant terminology
...you have autistic children and their meltdowns cause your meltdowns/shutdowns

....you only want to work in areas where you know buses ran by your favourite bus company go to

....you've been doing your volunteer job for a year now and you've only just about come out of your shell (and you hope it's only because you only go 3 hours a week)

....your brother's friends ask him if you are coming out to the pub with them on Friday nights (and 9 times out of 10 your brother has to say ''no, not this week'')

....you mope on the bus if your favourite drivers aren't on it

....you rush to see the local newspaper each week in panic in case if says any information about your favourite bus company, and worrying that the main service that you get is going into First Group (a useless bus company that is not the one you are obsessed over)

You know you're an aspie when...


...the saying "Natural is what suits you best" doesn't apply to you.

You know you're an aspie when...

...despite being a guy, you sometimes relate more to Lisa Simpson than to Bart or Homer Simpson

^^this^^

I relate to Bart, Lisa AND Homer.

...in a confrontation with another person, you are the last person talking and you 'win the argument' due to the fact that the other person got so bored that they stopped talking.- They eventually admit defeat.

... When your well intentioned advice only makes something worse.
... When people don't want to be around you.

This short and sweet

..when a good friend asks you to go out with him and his girl to a beer tasting and even though you want to go, saying yes is like pulling teeth.

....you find making eye contact with other women as you pass them in the street is scarier than walking through a dark, haunted school that has been abandoned for 20 years... (yes, being judged by other women in the street, no matter what age, is much scarier than dark abandoned schools)

....you find attending a party full of people you don't know bores you more than watching paint dry...

It's been said by some one more important than I can't recall who it was any ideas , theirs nothing worse than being invited to a party except when receiving an invitation to one ! (or words to that effect), it was more eloquently put by that person.


They where probably on the spectrum

Ymbaai...

You have been buying your pens by the box at the same office supply store for over 20 years.

You could look at the stars and moon for hours if you have the time.

You think God's creation of a tree is the most beautiful sight on earth.

You compose dance numbers to perform for your own exclusive enjoyment.

You think the most perfect date for you would cost nothing but time, patience, and relaxation. Such as a walk in the park, just talking one on one, or dancing.

You know more about gardening than some whom do it for a living, even though it is only your hobby.

Many people tell you that you should have an art show, but you cannot imagine promoting your own creative endeavors to anyone. They just are you.

You pine for a date with a woman you are attracted to, but by the time you get up the nerve, she is moving in with another woman. This happens to me every time.

You have been forced more than once to a promotion to management, (Told you have to be a manager, or you are fired) and you did not even ask for a raise.(I still do not understand this.)

You wished sports were extinct. Not exercise mind you, just sports.

You wish you could disappear when someone at work, in your department, says really loudly, "Let's all go out for a drink". Yikes!

You won the lottery would do research projects for the rest of your life.

Organizing counts as having fun.

When you get information on paper with some points highlighted in color blocks it feels as though you are reading under a strobe light.

You freeze when someone says, "Yeah, it's going to be so crowded".

Your Mum constantly says, "You should go out more".

Your Mum buys you a low-cut dress.

Your Mum is retired and her social life is still more active than yours ever was.

You can't imagine any one would want you in their company and if they did that would leave you questioning their sanity.

- You forget people's names but remember their birthdays.

- You have to finish the tune you started humming before you can let anybody else speak.

- You can recite the entire Ten Commandments and Lord of the Rings movies to yourself, including singing the musical scores.

- You wish you had a dollar for every time somebody asked you, "Who are you talking to?"

- People keep guessing your star sign as Aquarius.

- You can't understand the logic behind who's "Best-" and "Worst-dressed" at the Academy Awards. In fact, you can't understand fashion at all.

- If your phone rings while you're in the middle of something, you find it perfectly reasonable to let it keep ringing.

- You don't understand what's so romantic about a big, sloppy, noisy kiss.

- You were the only A-grade student your teachers didn't like, except when they were marking your work.

- You have to pretend to be using your phone or reading a book on the train so people don't think you're weird for laughing aloud at your own thoughts.

- Nobody can be cooking or heating up any food while you're eating because the smells distract you from your own food.

- You can't understand why people need to shower at least once a day and yet aren't turned off when kissing their other half who has breath that smells like faeces.

- The only part of the Titanic movie you cried at was when Mr Andrews was explaining the mathematical principles of submerging iron in water