05 Jun 2009, 8:33 am
While we were there we discussed the possibility of further meet-ups, ( we were enjoying ourselves so much, or most of us were! ). I don't know how people are feeling since getting back!
But the three main ideas were;
Something similar, ( a group of 8 or 9 people, perhaps as many as a dozen, but more than that would make eating out very difficult, ), but in Morocco this time. 
I would love to visit Morocco. Flights, most of the year, are not expensive, and hotels and eating is cheap.
Something similar, but in South West England, near Glastonbury, Bristol, the Cheddar Gorge, etc, ( or maybe further West into Cornwall? ).
Something bigger, with more structure. This could be a music and art and workshop festival for example, or life-skills training, and I wondered how many people would be interested in a five day "spa" 
; a detox, gluten-free, casein-free, super-diet in beautiful surroundings, all the catering, etc, done by others.
Remembering people's reactions to this meet-up as it got organised it seemed more people would have made it if they had had more advance notice, ( and this one had almost 4 months, so that means at least six months would be good ), and if it had been in the summer holidays, or another major holiday.
So what about Easter next year? It's only 9-10 months away!! ! 
.
05 Jun 2009, 8:46 am
I had a good time in Avignon. It was good to meet all of you.
One of my favourite moments was at L'Isle sur la Sorgue train station, when we were waiting for the train back to Avignon. Ouinon was remarking about how each of us was sitting/standing/walking like xe had no connection with the others. To me, the connection between us all seemed quite obvious and very relaxing. We were sitting/standing/walking so differently from each other because we were feeling free to be ourselves. The scene reminded me of a surrealistic painting.
05 Jun 2009, 8:58 am
I noticed things like that all weekend. It was really interesting. It reminded me of times when I was in my early twenties, and hung out with a group of wonderful oddballs, ( at least two other probable AS among them ), we behaved like that too, and it was very natural, and as you say, relaxing. I loved it. None of this bunching together nervously like sheep.
Roll on the next meet-up! Morocco? Cornwall/S.W. England? Next Easter?
.
05 Jun 2009, 9:37 am
A European WP meet next Easter (April, 2010) is an excellent subject, which deserves to be discussed on its own thread.
05 Jun 2009, 10:41 am
05 Jun 2009, 11:24 am
Thinking about it a little more, it seems to me that without exception, everybody was more interesting and warm in real life than the dry impression you get from their written words.
As it's the weekend here, I was just thinking that if only *any* of you lived nearby, I'd be delighted for some social time with you! But sadly, not to be... If only 'normal' people were more 'normal', like we are
It reminded me too of my mid-20's and misfit friends from Uni, various backstreets, and mega-wealthy families - but I'm not at liberty to divulge the details
We also received odd looks but had unbelievably good times!
The 'time dilation' effect was very strange. In one sense it went all too quick, as holidays tend to, but in another way each day was so full, it lasted so much longer, just like you say KenG.
I'm finding the mundanity of real life, and perhaps the relative isolation, quite a struggle since coming back. This time last week.....
05 Jun 2009, 11:36 am
05 Jun 2009, 1:45 pm
From what people have said so far it could seem as if a meet might actually a bad idea, if it is a success anyway, because unless the people involved live close enough to each other to see each other again, at regular intervals, afterwards, it feels so desperately sad and frustrating not to be able to build on the connection, in real life.
Online contact feels so flat, as Morgana said, two-dimensional, after seeing the three-dimensional people.
So, who thinks it's a good idea to meet people who you won't be able to see again for months, or even years, afterwards? Is it counter-productive, unhelpfully unsettling? Or is it worth it, if can deal with the separation afterwards?
Would it be a much better idea to meet a few people who live within a hundred miles or so, who you will be able to see for half days, or even whole days, every couple of weeks? Or not go to meet-ups at all, if noone lives that close.
If the meet is because of an event, particular activities, then it might be sensible to travel for hours to be with people that are unlikely to be able to meet again for a year or more, but when the socialising is the main event ... we create connections which can not easily maintain ...
It's alright if have friends where one lives, but otherwise the contrast could be too painful to bear, ( ManErg talking about the isolation ). Because the way to cope with it is to retreat again into finding the internet, and other solitary activities, enough, knowing that it is not as amazing as real life connection with people.
Is it also a mistake because such a weekend gives such an idyllic experience of others, on holiday, in the sunshine, eating in restaurants? And so the contrast with one's ordinary life, ( the job, the children, the neighbours, the cooking to do, the daily grind ), is even worse.
Why is a meet up a good idea? Forget for a moment the usual AS problems of sensory issues, the disruption of routines, the socialising, etc.
What did I get out of this weekend? I learned that online connection with AS people pales in comparison to the RL kind. This is not very useful. I live in a tiny village in France, with my son, ( and his french father ), and realising that online communication really is not the same thing as RL is not exactly a cheering discovery. And I would say that apart from the pleasure of the experience itself I got nothing else out of it.
What about everybody else?
[ Letter from a Rather Sad "Not Quite Devils Advocate" ]
Last edited by ouinon on 05 Jun 2009, 2:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.
05 Jun 2009, 2:00 pm
05 Jun 2009, 2:31 pm
if it is a success anyway, because unless the people involved live close enough to each other to see each other again, at regular intervals, afterwards, it feels so desperately sad and frustrating not to be able to build on the connection, in real life. Online contact feels so flat, as Morgana said, two-dimensional, after seeing the three-dimensional people.
So, who thinks it's a good idea to meet people who you won't be able to see again for months, or even years, afterwards?
Is it counter-productive, unhelpfully unsettling? Or is it worth it, if can deal with the separation afterwards?Would it be a much better idea to meet a few people who live within a hundred miles or so, who you will be able to see for half days, or even whole days, every couple of weeks? Or not go to meet-ups at all, if noone lives that close.
If the meet is because of an event, particular activities, then it might be sensible to travel for hours to be with people that are unlikely to be able to meet again for a year or more, but when the socialising is the main event ... we create connections which can not easily maintain ...
It's alright if have friends where one lives, but otherwise the contrast could be too painful to bear, ( ManErg talking about the isolation ). Because the way to cope with it is to retreat again into finding the internet, and other solitary activities, enough, knowing that it is not as amazing as real life connection with people.
Is it also a mistake because such a weekend gives such an idyllic experience of others, on holiday, in the sunshine, eating in restaurants? And so the contrast with one's ordinary life, ( the job, the children, the neighbours, the cooking to do, the daily grind ), is even worse.
Why is a meet up a good idea? Forget for a moment the usual AS problems of sensory issues, the disruption of routines, the socialising, etc.
What did I get out of this weekend? I learned that online connection with AS people pales in comparison to the RL kind. This is not very useful. I live in a tiny village in France, with my son, ( and his french father ), and realising that online communication really is not the same thing as RL is not exactly a cheering discovery. And I would say that apart from the pleasure of the experience itself I got nothing else out of it.
What about everybody else?
[ Letter from a Rather Sad "Not Quite Devils Advocate" ]
Hi Ouinon
I found this with my london meet ups, they are exhausting but also stimulating and relaxing at the same time.
Ive not felt connection with other people like I do at my meet ups and we all chat from 1pm till the last train at 11.30pm.
Everytime we all love it and I think it is worth the stress of organising it and the large travel time (for me).
I think its well worth holding more meet ups and I see no reason not to.
btw the social services have decided they no longer need to investigate me -yay!! !
05 Jun 2009, 2:46 pm
This might sound crazy, but right now, I'm trying not to think about it
Not getting at you KenG! It's my fault for mentioning it and I'm regretting it now! Is it counter-productive, unhelpfully unsettling? Or is it worth it, if can deal with the separation afterwards?For over emotional fools like me it *is* difficult, but better to have met you all once than not at all!
What about everybody else?
For me, some personal growth, for sure! Such growth is rarely easy. In some way, I am not the same as if I hadn't gone. But then I'm a screaming mystic....
Magical Memories that I can take with me everywhere and for all time (until Alzheimers sets in, of course) . Priceless.
If anybodies shedding tears - it should be those who *didn't* go.
Last edited by ManErg on 05 Jun 2009, 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
05 Jun 2009, 3:00 pm
We need an "Avignon meetup" withdrawal/rehab/post-traumatic stress centre. 
05 Jun 2009, 3:08 pm
Yes.
At the moment the only treatment I want for my withdrawal/trauma is another dose!! !
"Doctor, another one of those traumas, please".
.
05 Jun 2009, 4:17 pm
For over emotional fools like me it *is* difficult, but better to have met you all once than not at all!
For me, some personal growth, for sure! Such growth is rarely easy. In some way, I am not the same as if I hadn't gone. But then I'm a screaming mystic....
Magical Memories that I can take with me everywhere and for all time (until Alzheimers sets in, of course) . Priceless.
If anybodies shedding tears - it should be those who *didn't* go.
I agree with all these comments. (Except the Alzheimer´s of course, I´m not planning on getting that).
I put my vote in for Morocco next time, though I guess I´d go anywhere. That´s my solution: just keep meeting up again.
05 Jun 2009, 4:28 pm
No, you really wouldn't want to become even slightly forgetful....
But Seriously, Folks...
This 'hangover' is very interesting. Does anyone think maybe we experience these things *deeper* and *more* emotionally than NT's? That we have not only sensory overload but emotional overload too?
What LotusBlossom says about the London day meets is also interesting, because it sounds like pretty much the same experience. Perhaps slightly less intense because you haven't travelled half way to cross Europe to get there in the first place, it is one day or less, and somewhere like Avignon has a presence about it.
When people are saying it was so good they are questioning whether losing it hurts too much, that maybe it's best not to do that again - that shows so much the intensity! (....My favourite film is Repo Man: "Normal people avoid intensity. Repo Man LIVES for intensity".)
To me it seems it's not so much the intensity there, as the LACK of intensity here, that is upsetting.
<EDIT> Right now I find I'm actually wanting social contact more than at any point for years. Is anybody else feeling like that?
06 Jun 2009, 5:14 am
This reminds me of some music I adore so much, and means so much, I cannot listen to it as it is unbearably overwhelming
I always felt moved by Debussy "Claire de la Lune", often had to fight back the tears - not of misery, but of overwhelming emotion. Finally, when getting married in a very plain registry office, they had a random background tape playing that I was paying no attention to. At the exact moment of saying our vows, by one of those spooky coincidences, Clair de le Lune came on..... Words cannot describe how I felt. The result being that I've *never* been able to listen to it at all since which is a shame as it's one of my favourites.
On a lighter note, it could just be nothing, but it seems to me that all the people at the meeting swear a lot less than NT's ! !!
Not that it was totally absent and I'm sure nobody has a problem with it. And I guess we all "eff and blind" when we drop a hammer on our toe, get angry, or at some idiot who cuts us up when driving!
What I mean is that in routine, normal conversation, most NT's swear all the time, with some of them it's almost every other word which strikes me as a very odd way to communicate when I encounter it. For me swearing happens as an outburst, letting off steam, and fulfills a great role in doing that! I have always struggled at the NT way (well, NT in the UK, anyway) of 3 or 4 swear words per sentance. Just seems pointless and confusing. Maybe its just me?
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