You Might be an Aspie if...

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If lots of noise makes it almost impossible to concentrate.

If you have to move to another seat on the bus if people sit near you with little children, because their energy, noise and unpredictable behaviour really agitates you.

If you wish some restaurants would disallow toddlers and babies, without parents of young children making a controversy about it.

If you religiously have a nap during the day because it's a strategy of coping with anxiety and frustration that life brings you.

.. if the thing you hate most about spam is the grammatical errors.

If you slow down when you find yourself going one mile per hour over the speed limit.

If you cry over the most mundane things.

If a woman asks you if she looks fat and you respond with the affirmative.

If you're perpetually confused.

On a recent family vacation:
I saw a sign on a vineyard offering "cave tours." Mentioned that I didn't know there were caves out here, my mother told me it meant tours of where they store the wine.

About an hour before that, I had also finally realized the place we were going called something "Dairy" was not an actual dairy with cows, but an ice cream shop (it had a name that really sounded like it would be the name of a farm).

When I told my family I was going to be confused for the rest of my life my mother said "That's not surprising."

If you know that 42 is the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything and carry a towel with you everywhere you go.

You hate genericized trademarks, e.g. Google, Frisbee, Xerox, Kleenex, etc. "Just Google it." WELL WHAT IF I WANT TO BING IT?!

You despise the constant misuse of "literally."

You can't concentrate in class if the teacher makes a grammatical error on the board.

You go through this thread shouting "Yes! YES!" when reading other people's posts.

You're an extreme completionist and are seriously considering reading this entire thread.

You edit out what teenagers say so that their entire conversations sound like this: like like like like like like.

If you think a flea sale is the perfect place to get fleas in your town.

If you think a yard sale means they're selling their front or back yard to be used for a garden or whatever.

If you think a fire sale must've only been set up by Neanderthals because they're just discovering the uses for fire.

Just say "I looked myself up" or "pass me a tissue." I don't know what "brothering" is.

...if your child sees a "Pass With Care" sign on the road and asks you "but what if you DON'T care?" and you realize this is a pretty good question.

... if you avoid going down aisles in stores because there's already one other person in it, and that's one person too many.

... if you start the same song over and over again because every time you get partway through it you zone out to the music but then get annoyed that you weren't appreciating the song enough, so you have to start it over in order to appreciate it properly but then you zone out again because that's why you like it, because it puts you in that mental sweet spot, except you can't appreciate it properly that way so you start it over AGAIN.... and so on.


... if you put gas in your car and try to stop at exactly $20.00 but it goes over to $20.02 so you decide to just put in $25.00 so that its a nice round number but accidentally go to $25.01 so you have to go to $30.00 and this time you're about ready to kick something or cry a little bit out of frustration and discomfort because at these prices who can really stop at EXACTLY $30.00 anyway? (Thankfully with this one I'm able to just give up and accept the overage but it used to really bug me)

When you see a a topic you know nothing about, or word you do not know the meaning of and the topic or word interests you, you absolutely must stop what you are doing and reasearch every aspect about it.