You Might be an Aspie if...

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If you can't do small talk.

If you reply honestly when someone asks you how you are doing.

If you have a slightly hunched stance.

If you get jumbled up anytime someone asks what you got for lunch or what you did last weekend.

If you find it hard to look at people when talking to them.

If you stare at people's chins instead of in their eyes.

If your body language is totally out of sync with what you say.

Hi there! Can't complain. How are you doing? You haven't posted more music lately. I liked the ones you posted.

Or if you dislike answering the question because it's just a ritual and you'd much prefer them to just say hi when that's what they really mean.

if you prefer to look beside the person than directly at them at all...

Oh, yeah, I kind of forgot about my thread since no one's been on it lately besides me! Any melodious requests?
If social conversations make you twitchy.

If you stim.

If you can identify another Aspie just by talking to them for a few minutes.

NTs can also spot aspies easily.
YMBAAI you think the world owes you a living due to your disorder.

NTs can spot that there's something weird about us, but they might not always have enough knowledge of Asperger's to know that's the reason for the oddities.

YMBAAI you try to socialize but instead you end up annoying people.

If somebody asks you where you just came from, you say "the bathroom," then add the following:
"My poop was browner than I've seen in days. At least it rolled out faster than last night. They had one of those dual roll James River dispensers like they have in a lot of bathrooms along the interstate. Would it kill them to replace the broken coat hanger? That stall had the shortest door I'd ever seen; at least it was locked, not like when I was in the Public Library last week. I haven't seen one of those "top of the tank" flush buttons in a while. The first time I saw one was in the bathroom in the main lobby of the Hyatt Hotel near the Rhode Island airport 12 years ago. Oh, yeah. Would it kill them to add liquid soap to the dispenser? And what's with those towel hand dryers? I thought they went out of fashion years ago when the hand blowers came it?"

Till, of course, someone yells, "Alright! Enough already!"

I can't talk so much without stuttering.