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mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
17 Apr 2016, 5:06 pm
Sean wrote:
Some content borrowed from http://www.geocities.com/autistry/YMBAAI.html
Yes, this is another knockoff of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a Redneck".
You might be an Aspie if...
...you knew at the beginningof our freshman year that you weren't going to the senior prom.
...by the time the prom came, they couldn't have paid you a million dollars to go to the prom
....if the word "logic" goes right to your heart but the word "love" usually bounces off of it.
...if it takes you 3 times as long to decide if it's safe drive through an intersection as it does a normal person.
...if people behind you at intersections thoroughly hate you.
...if people told you you drive like a granny when you were 23 years old
....In Sunda School, you find the representations of the ark as a boat, with a keel and all, very irritating, when the Bible clearly describes the ark as a big rectangular box
....you don't think an aspie board would be very authentic without some argumentative pontificating, I defend argumentative pontificating because I myself am prone to such. Although, I am only trying to be factual and helpful.
...your teacher commands every one in the room to pair-off to discuss a topic and you are extremely relieved that no one wants to be your partner.
…you're disappointed that the latest close-approaching meteor is not, after all, going to hit Earth because you've been fascinated by cataclysms and catastrophism ever since you first saw "When Worlds Collide" and it scared the bejeebers out of you, and you really want to see what a real cataclysm would be like
....you insist on your view on fairness even when anyone else thinks you have gone mad
....you constantly forget taking the trash out even if you walk past it all the time because it isn't on your mental agenda of things to do.
...if your brain decides to take a leave when ever you are asked to do an unpleasant task.
...your science teachers often let you hold their classes because you knew better anyway.
...you consider the pleasantries of others just a waste of time.
...ifF you have dreams of communicating with extraterrestrials and nightmares about chatting with the next-door neighbour.
...you would rather have your liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall.
...You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago. You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange.
...you're known for a large number of unusual pets. 10 additional points if these pets are creatures that make NTs squeamish like rats, snakes, ferrets, or lizards. 20 additional points if you have more than 5.
...you take apart computers or other electronics for fun. 10 additional points if you started doing this before you were five years old.
...if you consider your driving an insurance risk
...if you forgot how to divide every summer break in school
...your hands are always covered in burns, cuts and scars, and the only ones you noticed getting are the really spectacular ones, but they never hurt anyway.
by Sean:
...if your neighbors come to your door needing help with their computer at all hours of the night
...if you help them with their computer problems at all hours of the night
...if the only reason anybody from high school knew who you were is because you have a popular sibling
...if your high school librarian knew you better than your classmates
...if anyone ever started a rumor that you were going to be on Jeopardy!
...if you're in class and everybody wants to sit by you for help with thier work but you can't get your own work done in time to save your life
...if you've ever frequented a fast food resturant and the people there ask you if "you want the usual?"
If any of you can think of some, POST IT!
For those of you who don't know who Jeff Foxworthy is,http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/homepage.shtml
Yes, this is another knockoff of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a Redneck".
You might be an Aspie if...
...you knew at the beginningof our freshman year that you weren't going to the senior prom.
...by the time the prom came, they couldn't have paid you a million dollars to go to the prom
....if the word "logic" goes right to your heart but the word "love" usually bounces off of it.
...if it takes you 3 times as long to decide if it's safe drive through an intersection as it does a normal person.
...if people behind you at intersections thoroughly hate you.
...if people told you you drive like a granny when you were 23 years old
....In Sunda School, you find the representations of the ark as a boat, with a keel and all, very irritating, when the Bible clearly describes the ark as a big rectangular box
....you don't think an aspie board would be very authentic without some argumentative pontificating, I defend argumentative pontificating because I myself am prone to such. Although, I am only trying to be factual and helpful.
...your teacher commands every one in the room to pair-off to discuss a topic and you are extremely relieved that no one wants to be your partner.
…you're disappointed that the latest close-approaching meteor is not, after all, going to hit Earth because you've been fascinated by cataclysms and catastrophism ever since you first saw "When Worlds Collide" and it scared the bejeebers out of you, and you really want to see what a real cataclysm would be like
....you insist on your view on fairness even when anyone else thinks you have gone mad
....you constantly forget taking the trash out even if you walk past it all the time because it isn't on your mental agenda of things to do.
...if your brain decides to take a leave when ever you are asked to do an unpleasant task.
...your science teachers often let you hold their classes because you knew better anyway.
...you consider the pleasantries of others just a waste of time.
...ifF you have dreams of communicating with extraterrestrials and nightmares about chatting with the next-door neighbour.
...you would rather have your liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall.
...You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago. You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange.
...you're known for a large number of unusual pets. 10 additional points if these pets are creatures that make NTs squeamish like rats, snakes, ferrets, or lizards. 20 additional points if you have more than 5.
...you take apart computers or other electronics for fun. 10 additional points if you started doing this before you were five years old.
...if you consider your driving an insurance risk
...if you forgot how to divide every summer break in school
...your hands are always covered in burns, cuts and scars, and the only ones you noticed getting are the really spectacular ones, but they never hurt anyway.
by Sean:
...if your neighbors come to your door needing help with their computer at all hours of the night
...if you help them with their computer problems at all hours of the night
...if the only reason anybody from high school knew who you were is because you have a popular sibling
...if your high school librarian knew you better than your classmates
...if anyone ever started a rumor that you were going to be on Jeopardy!
...if you're in class and everybody wants to sit by you for help with thier work but you can't get your own work done in time to save your life
...if you've ever frequented a fast food resturant and the people there ask you if "you want the usual?"
If any of you can think of some, POST IT!
For those of you who don't know who Jeff Foxworthy is,http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/homepage.shtml
I identify with so many of these, it's not even funny.
Heh, and to think that this was originally posted almost 11 years ago...
17 Apr 2016, 5:12 pm
17 Apr 2016, 6:14 pm
17 Apr 2016, 6:16 pm
17 Apr 2016, 8:29 pm
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,515
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
17 Apr 2016, 9:30 pm
People have accused you of being extremely rude for:
Correcting their spelling or grammar.
Asking them to please turn their cell phone off because you and other people are trying to watch a movie.
Telling the kid behind you to please stop smacking their gum.
Telling the kid behind you to please stop kicking the bottom of your seat.
Asking them to please turn the TV volume down.
Asking them to please not to play their music on full blast the entire night while you struggled in vain to sleep.
And of course they think you're the rude one, even when you say please and don't raise your voice. 
17 Apr 2016, 9:43 pm
18 Apr 2016, 7:12 pm
...you feel like a satellite to planet society. You get to look at it (sometimes maybe from many angles) and the planet looks back at you, you never really feel like a part of it and a certain distance separates both of you.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,730
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
18 Apr 2016, 10:18 pm
18 Apr 2016, 10:26 pm
Sylvastor wrote:
...you feel like a satellite to planet society. You get to look at it (sometimes maybe from many angles) and the planet looks back at you, you never really feel like a part of it and a certain distance separates both of you.
...If you don't just feel like that but also know how to navigate a satellite in orbit and do complex orbital maneuvers from being obsessed with space travel for over a decade.
18 Apr 2016, 11:48 pm
19 Apr 2016, 12:37 am
CockneyRebel wrote:
If you cry when you find out your favourite restaurant has gone out of business.
That's sad to read.
One of my favourite restaurants went out of business as well a few years ago.
To keep the topic flowing:
...you have an easier time to empathize with aspies than NT people.
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