Self diagnosed people here don't have aspergers

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I'd go get dianosed but they won't do it
for me.

Off the topic slightly, if it wasn't for self diagnosis noone over the age of thirty would ever bother finding out, would they?

Something about battling for survival in complete ignorance of what we're up against through decades of believing we're normal sort of damages your confidence in anyone else's opinion. Add to that that there's nothing can be done about it, and - really - why would you waste your efforts? Oh, yeah. That's right. You're an aspie. No choice.

That's your opinion. Here's my opinion: true Asperger's is anyone that fits the diagnostic criteria. Anyone that is impaired their symptoms. If people didn't want to seek help for their impairments there would be no Asperger's. You would just be socially awkward, geeky, or weird. It is just a label that can help one get the right support after they are diagnosed.
Your "true Asperger's" sounds like an aspie that doesn't want help even though they need it. And that is sad, that is very very sad. They don't want to grow up, be independent, work, have friends and a family of their own.
I hate going to a new location, but I hate that I hate going to a new location. I hate smalltalk but I hate that I hate smalltalk and can't join in....etc.

Although you can have your opinion and I know I can't convert you to my way of thinking, just like you can't convince me that your true AS theory makes any sense.

That is a particularly asinine assertion on your "friend's" part.

I was a self diagnosed aspie until Saturday, when I was diagnosed. Does this mean that I didn't have it until Saturday?

Misdiagnosed aspies can be anything, mentally unstable, depressive and anxious NT's, fake aspies too, true aspies don't thrive in a high position in society, they don't want to become spokespersons, teachers, chairmen, artists or managers, if you're a fake aspie, you have no problems with travelling to a country on your own, you have no problems with arranging meetings in a company, you can smalltalk since the age of 13, you can make and raise a child and move in in an apartment without being noticed.[/quote]

The DSM mentions nothing about not being able to smalltalk at 13 or not being able to raise a child. Or not being able to travel to another country on your own. It is afterall a spectrum, and it is also more of a learning disorder. It does not mention anything about not being able to accept NTs.



BTW, the last three mean that even though you may have the first 3 ones, you must also make sure you don't have PDD, or a kind of Schizophrenia or high functioning autism. This is a reason not to trust self-diagnosis. In my case, it turned out I had something in that range ...

However, that's not to generalize into saying that all self-diagnosed people do not have AS. Logically, most people that were diagnosed AS as adults were initially self-diagnosed. Also, doctors are not perfect, so even if someone is diagnosed AS it could be that the person doing the diagnosis made a mistake/missed something.

Overall, I think that this forum can be really helpful to anybody with the first III points. Those cause the same sorts of experiences. The rest are just to filter out the cause of the symptoms, it would not filter the symptoms themselves.

Another thing that most people miss when self-diagnosing is point 2.

For example, I am no aspie but I have 1B, 1C and 1D and III. But I do not have any of the II's as far as I know. Yet I feel at home in here when reading the experiences of other guys in the site.

when i came here i expected to understand most of the posters.
i expected to be able to talk to everyone and they would understand.

but i realized after a few weeks, that here is a social pecking order here and i am at the bottom even though i am not mentally stupid.

i can not pick up on all the buzz words and the innuendo and stuff, so i stopped reading preceding posts in threads that i decided to respond to.
i now mainly just reply to the topic title because i can not reply meaningfully to any people that have also responded to the topic title.
i do not understand where most people are coming from and they also do not understand where i am coming from in my replies.

i remember thinking at the beginning "goodness these people are just average social misfits, and they fit in to the world far better than i do", and i sometimes checked peoples profiles to see whether they were really diagnosed or just self diagnosed.

many people who i did not identify with said in their profile that they were officially diagnosed asperger syndrome and i thought " there are many liars here".

but after a while i thought that i am not only AS, because i also have ODD, so my outlook on life is not what an AS person without ODD has.

i am at the bottom of the pecking order on this site even though i was diagnosed as autistic at 3 years old, and suspected to be autistic at 3 months old.

people here seem to understand innuendo and sarcasm, and they also exhibit in their own posts those qualities. they use emoticons that mean nothing to me to spice up their posts.
they use buzz words like "zomg" which i think means "zombie oh my god" which is not understandable by me.

what does "oh my god" mean anyway? even if it was explained to me i will never understand.

people on this site seem so much smarter and more able in social reciprocation than i am, and i gave up being optimistic that i will ever find someone that i can talk to here long ago.

there are social cliques on this site and i have no ability to join in.

but i think i am more affected than many people here, and they ignore me because they are looking for more advanced social interaction which i am incapable of. it is not my fault because i did not build myself.

in my case, i was removed from the mainstream school system in 2nd grade (6 yo) and i was divorced from having to go through the social curriculum, and i was always in the sights of psychiatrists. i spent most of my school life in institutions, and i was very much an object of interest for psychiatrists because i am quite ret*d in almost every way but i can solve problems that many people can not.

now that i live by myself and can make money with my mind, i am left alone by mental health professionals.

there are people (my bosses) who think i am an idiot, but they want me badly to be in charge of their data. they do not invite me to any social things, but on the other hand, they grasp onto me tightly so i can solve their computorial problems. i am like their favorite tool.
one does not invite their favorite spanner to dinner, but they would cancel their planned dinner party if it meant they would lose their favorite tool. so i have some worth to some people.
it is good to be worthwhile to someone else than only myself.

most of the people here remind me of people i see everyday on the outside of my inner world.

anyway i am doing other stuff and i can not think in a way that is impressive to WP members so i will end here.
(i am not moping or upset about it...it is like an inevitable cause/effect thing that i watch without much concern).
goodbye for tonight. i hope my dreams are pleasant.

I do not think you are mentally stupid either, although I do believe that you are somewhat unrealistic in your evaluation above.


If there is a pecking order, at least you have the social know-how to have identified that....not everyone here can honestly claim to have done so well on that count.


According to urban dictionary, you are quite close to the mark. The z is apparently meaningless and was originally a typing error that results when someone hits the "z" key instead of the shift key when trying to type OMG (an acronym for "Oh My God"). So you were nearly right.


I believe it means "exclamation" and has a similar meaning as the exclamation mark commonly employed in text. Or at least that is how I interpret it and so far as I know this interpretation has not caused any misunderstandings for me.

I agree; you do appear to be rather pessimistic at times.


Do you actually want to be in a clique? I am no expert, but I think that usually one joins a clique by involving themselves in "small-talk" and social reciprocity with those already involved in one. I also believe that for the most part the only thing that really goes on in cliques is yet more "small talk" and social reciprocity. Unless you actually enjoy "small talk" and social reciprocity, joining a clique may be of very limited value to you.

Why do you think people ignore you b9?


I find you worthwhile. I read your posts when I see them, and I always appreciate your wittisms (although I have not encountered one for a while).

When a life-long search for finding out who you really are brings you to this website...
and... you get a very high score on the aspie quiz and highly autistic scores on other tests...
and... you have no real friends...
and... you know you have been socially awkward your entire life...
and... you started building websites and computers before you learned to tie your shoes...

you might have aspergers.
and yes, i am speaking for myself.

So true asperger's is what one individual you know says...? Right. Not so much.


M.

That person is very high-function and socially skilled, he has a highly developed theory of mind, and >chose to withdraw from society<, because he felt uncomfortable being around NT's, he didn't trust them, he felt the need to relax and play videogames.

The DSM mentions nothing about not being able to smalltalk at 13 or not being able to raise a child. Or not being able to travel to another country on your own. It is afterall a spectrum, and it is also more of a learning disorder. It does not mention anything about not being able to accept NTs.



BTW, the last three mean that even though you may have the first 3 ones, you must also make sure you don't have PDD, or a kind of Schizophrenia or high functioning autism. This is a reason not to trust self-diagnosis. In my case, it turned out I had something in that range ...

However, that's not to generalize into saying that all self-diagnosed people do not have AS. Logically, most people that were diagnosed AS as adults were initially self-diagnosed. Also, doctors are not perfect, so even if someone is diagnosed AS it could be that the person doing the diagnosis made a mistake/missed something.

Overall, I think that this forum can be really helpful to anybody with the first III points. Those cause the same sorts of experiences. The rest are just to filter out the cause of the symptoms, it would not filter the symptoms themselves.

Another thing that most people miss when self-diagnosing is point 2.

For example, I am no aspie but I have 1B, 1C and 1D and III. But I do not have any of the II's as far as I know. Yet I feel at home in here when reading the experiences of other guys in the site.[/quote]

If many aspies have difficulty in accepting changes and organize items, there's no way they can maintain a relationship/raise a child, since that craves organization, changes, meetings, accepting NT's, pack up the bag to travel to a different country..

As I said in the comment above, it was a very high-functioning, socially skilled aspie who said it, someone who is probably more skilled than most of the people on here, he could travel to different countries independently too, so no, he doesn't need help, he just wants to live a good life.

Are you sure your "friend" does not have a personality disorder rather than an Autistic disorder?

Actually many people with AS are very organized; I am not one of them, but I understand that it's not uncommon.
Neither raising a child nor being in a relationship requires packing up a bag to travel to a different country, and at any rate your supposition is contrary to fact. People with reliable diagnoses of AS can and do travel internationally.

Having difficult with something is not identical to "cannot or will not do that thing".

In no way, (I have a perfect life) and this is what a true aspie would think, you're not an aspie if you accept NT's completely, talking with your co-workers/collegues, like you're planning to travel to Hawaii or the Caribbean and feel happy about it, true aspies will withdraw from unecessary discussion with co-workers/collegues and the chairman.

He's not my friend, he's just one I know from the internet, and he doesn't have a personality disorder, he's just a true aspie that said it like a true aspie would say it; "I had a social life... it sucked", he thought it was pointless to socialize just to gain a high position among monkeys, so he discovered the joy of a withdrawn life, no NT's, no boring conversations, just a perfect life with no worries.