100 Ways to Annoy Somebody With Asperger's Syndrome

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Get some wine gums and start chewing them really, REALLY loudly.

(My brother eats like this, and my mum too...if you weren't used to it you'd think a jumbo jet had crashed in the front room)

Keep a sundowner Aspie long after its bedtime so as to ensure that they'll be completely incommunicado, then offer them to sit down and just TALK.

Provide 101 ways to annoy someone with Asperger's Syndrome.

Force your view upon me about how I am, will become or have been.
People who have the need to force their views upon me about anything at all have not understood that imagination is not 1:1 transmittable.

Teachers: Get mad when I correct your spelling
Old Ladies: Express concern when I talk to female friends, in order to "protect" my wife
Friends: Exclaim "but you have social skills!" when I try to tell you about AS.

xxx. Plan a nice surprise for them.

That single one would replace five or ten of the properly numbered ones, by being more general. In the same way, someone could go down the whole thread, replace duplicates and paraphrases with generalities, and edit. One hundred might even be close to correct.

I just finished going down the thread, and the "protect my wife" above is the first original one I've seen for a long time. I'm not even sure that's an Aspie thing: sounds more like a human thing.

Do it the wrong way

I find certain aspects of fashion to be annoying.
Why is it that people are embarrassed of their naturally pale skin?? It's your nationality to be pale! You don't hear people with dark skin saying, "Uh, my skin is too dark! I should get it bleached!"
Also, why is it beautiful for the tips of my hair to have tight curls, but if tight curls are closer to my roots, I suddenly have an unpleasing afro?

I think pale skin is beautiful.

That's the worst. I absolutely lose my mind when I see someone fumbling around with something that I think should be simple.

use the wrong tool

not know basic math and geometry

not comprend the forces and physics involved

I would love to be on one of those handiman tv shows. or one like the "old junkyard wars" & "monster garage"
something with design on the fly aspect. I would actually yell at the tv when I see "that is not going to work"

Being the reason for a sensory overload; now I will likely avoid you, uneducated neurotypical.

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. "
"The Notebooks of Lazarus Long" Robert A Heinlein

Driving way too fast on the interstate only to get within feet of another car before slowing down. Are you surprised when the cars don't magically get out of your way?
<sarcasm>And if I don't get out of your way, don't bother passing on the right. Like that's TONS more dangerous than tailgating me.</sarcasm> Nevermind the fact that the "slow" lane is clear, and if you did get into the other lane, then you'd be on you way in a hurry again.
Oh wait, I don't merge for tailgaters! So you have no choice but to eventually pass me on the right, but I don't see why it took you a whopping 10 minutes to figure that out.

Oh, and yelling at the windshield. If you want to say something, use your horn! That's what it's there for. Newsflash: no one can hear you yelling through the windshield, so what's the point in that?

And really, why does all hell have to break loose just because someone flips you the bird? It's just a hand gesture! In high school, my friends and I would use it as a greeting (to mock its meaning). All it really means is that the person doesn't like you, and 10% of people dislike you on sight anyway, so it shouldn't be such a big deal.

Saying that art is not a crime so you can practice grafiti. Buy the canvas before you use it.

Trying to convince anyone that your designer breed is a "purebreed" just because the breeder gave you "papers." It's a $20,000 mutt. I can type up "papers" for any random mutt at the shelter, too. Here's a labra-puranese, but she must not be special enough because she comes with microchiping, spaying and a free vet visit for only $140 at the Animal Rescue League of Iowa.

Having to go to a memorial with gobs of people who haven't seen you for years who expect you to listen and talk to them and deal with grief and anxiety all at the same time.

@ The OP: Don't take this the wrong way. You did ask, and I'm just being honest:

Starting threads like this.