Who has DESPERATELY tried to fit in at times in their life?

Post Reply New Topic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGvzxzHP ... re=related

a video clip of Canada's Parliament in Action...

I have a low opinion of normal people. Smart, eccentric "NTs" can be cool too, but I don't want to fit in with the jocs and gangsta wannabes.

millie, believe me I've tried a great deal to so-called fit in but, almost always it does not work out in my benefit whatsoever therefore, these days I simply keep to myself and yes, I'll speak when necessary but, for the most part not pester,burden,bore,or annoy another individual whether offline or online as, I've seen what happens when you wind up making someone feel like they wanted to pull their hair out cause, you don't do everything the right way or act in the normal manner..

I thought about this hard and I'm not sure about fitting in.

I like to do many of the things others (non-autistic) do after trying them. I like parties, I like music, I like age appropriate activities, I like going out, I like chatting, I like hanging out with friends, I like a lot like that... just do because I like it?

I now think that for me it's always been about trying to communicate.

Which is a part of fitting in maybe? Because successful communication absolutely must happen in order to get in contact with others.

For me it's always 'just' been a problem of communication. Expression of myself, my intentions, my likes, my hates, my abilities.

I tend to like the same things as some of other people, but nevertheless they reject me so badly because I cannot communicate.

For me, communicating with others is fitting in with them already.

Mimicking them in something that's no natural for me. I don't know how it is for others on the spectrum AS/HFA side, but talking, interacting isn't natural to me.

I'd not do any of this if left alone from point A onwards. I've discovered how it's interesting to communicate though because I like doing much of the same things as others and communications opens the doors to being able to do these things.

It's as if basically I fit it in many respects.

People just don't know and assume I do not fit in because I can't communicate that I fit in.

So... is this the same as not fitting in or not? Because in the end, everybody except those who know me claim I totally do not fit in because my autism and ADHD make them unable to understand me.

If it's the same:

yes! I've been trying so hard to communicate.

I made myself sick regularly and now am still often exhausted from the effort to talk and interact with others, though I try to keep it in check. I'm, extroverted and get energy from being around others, but I still spent much more due to autism and ADHD than I gain. Got sick every 2-3 weeks just a year ago.

^ I understand the illness and the sickness. If i spend too much time around people I get exhausted and i get migraines. I vomit. I get run down much more easily.

Like Professor X, I no longer try to espend too much energy with others.
I have Wp, some 12 step and artist friends - a small group.
I have my animals and nature and my work (which nobody wants at the moment because of the recession.)

I think i am just tired and worn down by the world again, at present.

I second Alba, fitting in is not for me, unless I do.

It is a range, and most of what I find is weak and self centered, trying to just get along, some will think I need them, and play it for what it is worth.

It is just ape manipulation, so I start with "What is your problem?"

What I have found is the worst manipulators do it because they have gotten away with it, and in me they have a problem. I meet physical threats with unbuttoning my shirt, and when asked why, I say because I do not want to get blood on it.

I have also offered to stand and smash foreheads and see who falls first. So far no takers, they only try to beat people with their mouths, and when they walk away, they have to keep walking.

What I find is, after I have been declared crazy, some excuse to avoid me, lots of other people come out of hiding, and smile. They did not like the same people I conflicted with, but would never call them out.

They are best defined as "Fear Biters", they try to threaten what they fear, which is a bluff, for fighters do not have two friends back them up, and I will take all three. When they do not follow up at three to one, it is time for them to find a new zip code.

The overview is they are going for cheap wins, using size, numbers, but when they run into a fight, they run.

I find no differance when they claim a superior education, "A Degree in Art Appreciation", the overall pattern is the same, they cannot paint, so they try to bully those who did not go to their school of useless children.

This whole NT social thing is based on forming gangs of the weak, so by numbers they can attack, but they never follow up in a real conflict. It is called a Cheap Shot, but when I inform them that it is not going to be cheap, in fact they will remember it for the rest of their short and miserable life, they suddenly remember they have to be somewhere else, fast.

While it is a life of conflict, it was anyhow, I do get a lot of support from the silent middle after that. Everyone likes to see the bully taken down.

The bully needs confidence, an in, so shut them down hard and fast at the first word, they are attacking a stranger.

As I said on Greentea's thread, tell people nothing, and question their existance. They think they have a right to manipulate people they know, I put them kicking in a stranger's door, and I am on the other side with an axe.

Who the hell are you, and why should I care?

I was already known for being different and rude, I am.

I make more friends, for they support what I stand for.

This world needs some social police who call out cheap shot artists.

I fall into the 'wanting to be left alone' camp, although I did try to fit in for a little while when I was a teenager. But I didn't really understand exactly what it was I was fitting in to (I still don't)... and when someone managed to shed a small patch of light on the situation for me, I found that others' ways of thinking were so foreign to me that I didn't want to fit in with them any more - fitting in would have meant being somebody else. Also, I got bullied and manipulated a lot.

I want to fit somewhere, but I don't want to fit in. I am happy in my solitary patch of reality.

I did, cause my teachers and family told me to; yeah, it didn't work.

In 10th grade, I decided to do a little experiment to see just how well it would work, one final time:

I announced to my classmates "I like south Park"

they didn't sound happy to hear that. It didn't make me 'cool'; probably just killed the show for them