Do you have a sense of gender identity?

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Sorry. Rarely does the real thing outperform what you can imagine.

Recently I got Shanghaied into going to a nudie bar. I didn't get the point of it. Young, naked women shaking it on stage while guys slipped money into their g-strings/garters, but do you think for a moment that the woman was doing it to make you happy or did she just want your money?

Of course, that could summarize many NT relationships.

I'm extremely male. My early childhood was largely recreating battle scenes from my favorite books and movies with my large collection of G.I. Joes and He-Man figures. I've always been super competitive, I don't mind losing but I have to go all out and try to win. I played soccer and basketball growing up, I watch sports all the time and like to read the box scores for the games I missed. I will yell and scream about how horrible officials are(ARGH NBA OFFICIATING) when I'm the only person home.

I appreciate aesthetic attractiveness in women or men fairly equally but I'm not often actively attracted in the sense of desire to act. My first experience with sex was absolutely as good as advertised and it got better from there as I was able to actually process all the intense stimulus involved instead of it mostly being OH SHHHHHHeizure whoa what the hell was that. She liked to burn sandal wood in her room so whenever I smell that I experience a synaesthetic memory of our first time.

capriwim, as it pertains to your question regarding gender identity? Yes, I'm humanly aware I'm male but, for close to 40yrs I've always been made fun of in that sense for, I'm not very muscular nor athletic whereby, I get all the cruel slang and teasing remarks as such.. Personally, I'm able to see myself as human but beyond that, not much more... ..


ProfessorX

Well I can definitely relate. I don't really. Some guy, a friend of mine, started asking me all sorts of questions about that. i just don't have that much feeling about it. So I looked it up. There is a lot of info on asexuality.org
However, I just joined, participated for a few weeks, and left, as honestly I didn't care that much. But there is some good info there.

--des

I'M A MAAAAAAAANNNNNNN

(hey-im a nerd and a channer-of course those are masculinre things because do yoiu see girls coding or on the internet. NO amirite )

I'm not diagnosed, but I do feel like that sometimes. I have mannerisms that people have identified as girly and I've also been told that I think and walk like a boy. Though I wonder how someone could ever clearly know what I'm thinking. At the moment I don't really know what the difference between men and women is apart from the physical things...not counting the behaviors that are socially appropriate for men and those seen as appropriate for women.

I think they're probably referring to how you approach things... more analytically than emotionally. This would be reflected in your speech, as well as mannerisms. Commonly, the female half of the species has an emotional coloring to how they look at things, think of things... a cute baby as contrasted to a healthy baby. The male half of the species tends to approach things from a more analytic framework... a fast horse as compared to a beautiful horse.

My therapist suggests--and I've found it true to a point--that I would be more comfortable working with men, because of their tendency to be more fact and task based, rather than emotionally, felt-sense based.

Until the guys get crude... ugh.

Hars question. Sort of. Are you asking which I'd rather be, male or female? In that case, the latter. It's confusing me.

I'm fine with being a guy most of the time, but sometimes I'd rather be a girl. As long as my body doesn't go to the state where I can only pass as one gender, I'll be okay. Possibly.

I think a lot of things associated to the gender, by society's definition, such as women being emotional and dress up in cute outfits all the time kinda don't really match the Asperger qualities. A lot of these qualities are social oriented, which is where Aspergers lack, so it's no surprise that we all have our own unique versions of gender qualities.

I tend to match gender with nature. I do think women should be beautiful because that's what it seems to me nature intended, but beauty doesn't mean keeping up with the latest fashions and wearing makeup. Also, women give birth, something men can't do, and in addition, we feed our young naturally, something else a man cannot do. So I think with that comes a nurturing aspect to womenhood.

What's weird is that once upon a time, I really hated women's lib. Yeah, I thought we were better off staying home and taking care of the house and kids than doing all of it...working and taking care of the house and kids. Plus what is the point of lifetime if you are never home to watch it right? But to be honest, now that I've been a stay at home mom, I'm going to lose my mind if I don't get a job soon. I used to think women worked to pay the bills, but no, to us moms, it's a break from real life.

In most species it is the male that is more 'beautiful' and striking... plumage, antlers, size. The female is usually dull and drab... probably for the purpose of hiding with the young better. Sexual attractiveness is largely based on vigor and health... all those magnificent feathers denote a male that has energy to burn, an abundance of health, superb survival skills, foraging skills, etc. In numerous species it has also been shown that personality does play a part... though the biggest jerk in the herd may be the dominant male, he may not be getting the most sex if he's too aggressive towards the females. A gentle #2 will be preferred... but #3 is still out of the picture.



And this is exactly where my lack of gender identity comes in... I have never had any desire to be pregnant, to have children, to nurture and care for a baby. When all the other women are cooing and gooing, I'm leaving. I would way rather go turn compost into my garden than fuss with babies.

Hmm quite alot of people asked me whether I was male or female, although I'm male physically. Well I guess I have male's brain logical thinking and also female's style of emotions.

That seems common in Autism.

Wow, this is kind of neat. I'm not officially diagnosed with AS, but it's scary how much i have in common with some of you here. I, like a lot of you, have always felt a little in-between. I like the term "genderqueer" that's getting pretty popular in the LGBT community lately I also think i identify as transgender, though... I'm biologically female, but feel that, even though i'm definitely not "manly," i feel more like i should be a guy than a girl. Seriously considering hormones. It's definitely not that i feel like your average guy, but i'd rather be an androgynous person that as seen basically as "a guy" than an androgynous person seen basically as "a girl," if that makes any sense. It's just a difficult thing to sort through in my head, since i still feel as if i'm a little off in my own category. More a shade of grey than black or white, but people are still going to lump you in with one of the other and i'm pretty sure i'd rather be the other than the one i'm seen as now. Complicated. I'm pretty sure i would never opt for the whole surgery(just top surgery, not bottom), retaining some female parts is fine with me, i just want some secondary characteristics to be less feminine.

Yeah a lot of ducks and birds seems pretty natural for the male to be pretty, but with humans, for whatever reason, I think it's natural for the women to be pretty.

As far as kids, i never wanted kids most of my life. In fact, I always thought kittens were cuter than kids. Then, I got to a point where it wasn't that I wanted babies as much as I wanted a family of my own. A lot of that was because my dad passed away and I'm just not finding that feeling of family again like it was when my dad was alive. So then I got married and had 2 kids, and it's very different when it is your kids. It's like it strikes you that you made that baby, and you are the only person that baby has to depend on for everything. I never imagined that I was capable of loving someone so much. Also, my 2 year old seems a little Aspie natured, and all the things she does that reminds me of when I was a kid, all those things that I hated about myself and embarrassed me beyond repair, all those things she possesses, I now love because it's her, so in a weird way, my children have helped me learn to love myself better. Either way, I had no desire to be a mom or nurture or anything instinctive until after I had kids.

Interesting...I think when my friend was telling me that I think like a guy, she was referring to how I feel about relationships. I don't exactly remember if she referenced anything, but my first boyfriend was too romantic for my taste. He was 17 and I was 16, and I didn't understand how you could know that you love someone and want to marry them in a matter of weeks.

I've also never had a strong desire to have kids, partly because I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to give them the love they need even if I wanted to. And I never fantasized about having a wedding as a kid, or recently.

On the other hand, I do like to dress up in girly things when I have the time. But if I could be reborn and choose my gender, I think I'd say male. It probably doesn't help that some of my health problems have to do with me being a girl (only two, but they're pretty annoying to have.)

I am a man.

I am not a strutting, alpha, macho man but I am a man.

I don't think that "the sexes are equal".

I see no reason why women shouldn't be accountants, doctors, scientists etc but I don't think that they should be soldiers, firefighters, or construction workers.