Do ALL Aspies or Auties dislike bieing hugged or touched?

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I used to HATE it. I would recoil if anyone touched me.

Now I am ok with friends or family hugging me.

I don't mind being hugged or touched for a short amount of time if it is family---if I am expecting it. However, I don't like shaking hands, I don't like being touched, patted, etc. by non-family. I absolutely hate it when people come up to me and give me that pat on the back or slap on the arm---I hate it...I hate it...I hate it. Well...I made my point. The way I feel is "hands off, please don't touch me" if you are non-family. Even though I dislike hand shakes, I know it is usually what is expected when you meet someone, so I will do it...but I don't like it. I also don't like it in church when we are all supposed to hold hands during the Lord's Prayer.

I'm okay with it sometimes, depending on who it is. But I was also abused as a child, so I don't know how much stems from that.

First for the record, as a person who took philosophy class you want to be careful with absolutivity. Whenever you say ALL, ABSOLUTELY, EVERYONE, UNIVERSALLY, INDISPUTABLE, IRREFUTABLE you are making an absolute claim. This is not just for this thread but in life in general.

Second, I loved being hugged and touched. Physicial affection is very important to me.

Unless you use any of those terms in a question.

Since I didn't take philosophy class I also don't understand the implications of making an absoloute claim, however at present I am not particually worried about this. Should I be?

I'm just trying to find out if I am like other people on this forum. I wasn't expecting a simple question to be subjected to philisophical analysis because it included the word "all". However I do hope that attempting to point out this mistake made you feel good about yourself as you must clearly be in need of it. I didn't come here looking for pedantic arguments about the syntax of my sentances I just want to find people whom I can relate to.

I dislike being hugged or touched by people I don't know, but I do like being hugged and I don't mind pats or such from people I know and trust.For me, it's based on trust, more than anything.

Hi Smiffi25147628---I hear your concern about this touch/hug issue. I want to try to help a bit if I can. First, not all of us with autism will present the same here. I have heard it said that, "You've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." Not all autistics will have sensory issues, though many of us seem to have one or more. As for me, I have sensory issues with light, sound, and touch, but that doesn't mean everyone with autism will have those. There are plenty of autistics that love being hugged and touched. Many who do like hugs/touches like firm hugs/touches. I prefer lighter hugs/touches---but from family only. Sometimes I think we try to analyze too much on things like this---but I will admit---I tend to over analyze---gee---have I ever over analyzed in the past. Do you think you are trying to analyze analyze and analyze? If so...that could be a good marker for autism in you. Many of us on the spectrum do like to analyze things like our autism. My autism is Asperger's, and I find research on autism fascinating.

Sometimes we that are autistic perceive senses as different than NTs. For example, a shirt tag can be very annoying to me. Having one foot covered by a sheet on the bed, and the other one not covered, can be very irritating to me. But, I find getting tattooed as relaxing and peaceful.

I think from what you have read, one of the best ways to determine whether or not you have AS/autism is to study the social awkwardness issue. But, there is a classic autistic student at my school who loves socializing---though his social approach is considered awkward. Look at the DSM-IV, the Gillberg, etc. and see what you think.

In me, I turned down numerous opportunities to go out with classmates (who invited me) in favor of my special intense interests. Mom used to get kind of concerned about me. But, the socializing was just too awkward---and after awhile you learn to avoid what makes you feel awkward. Today, I really have no friends. I basically stick around with my family only. It is what I prefer. I am not afraid of people, it's just that I am awkward around most of them. Do you have special intense interests?

And I believe some autistics can feel the autism in them. I can feel the autism in me. After reading the criteria for AS---I felt a chill run down my spine---it was me. I reviewed my whole life. My eccentric life finally fit. I scheduled an appointment to be diagnosed just to be sure. And---I was officially diagnosed with AS. I no longer felt I was the only person in the world to think like I did.

Feel free to PM me if you like about this.

I don't like being hugged with no warning or invitation to do so. When given warning, there are people I will tolerate hugs from, and people who I enjoy getting hugs from. The only person in the latter group, those I enjoy getting hugs from, is my husband. Others with permission are in the 'tolerate' group. I am OK with that from the man I married and love, but he is less tactile than me anyway and so it is never an issue.

For me hugging is not a tactile issue - it's an invasion of personal space/intimacy issue. Now the thing I really hate is lighter touches, brushing against someone, that feels like burning or deep itching. A firm hug though is different.

My mum hates the fact that I would prefer not to be hugged by her - she always insists on hugging me when we meet or say goodbye, she knows that I hate it, but to her it's a 'normal' expression of closeness - but at least she knows me well enough to ask beforehand if a hug is OK, rather than just smothering me - sudden closeness without warning makes me feel panic, and she knows that if she just grabbed a hold of me I would probably scream and push her off me. I do it for her though, because I have learned that it is important to her to sometimes give me a hug - and in reality it does me no lasting damage to allow it.

I only like being touched/hugged by people I like and trust.

Don't call me an "aspie" or "autie", they're such stupid names.

I had noticed touch a common thing to. My experiance.... when it comes to strangers, I'd settle for a large spider on my neck, or a whack rather than a soft tap or pat, personaly. No offence.

There is a minority of aspies who are the opposite to the apprehension to touch. I am one of those minority. Those who do it do it for for the proprioceptive stimulation (stimulating the sense of where one begins and ends). Sometimes it can get awkward with this love for hugging, but eh, I manage.

I dislike being hugged if it's a sudden thing or a stranger wants to hug me.
With family and friends it's ok.

I don't mind being touched as long as I can see it coming. My friend once snuck behind me between classes one day, and tapped me on the shoulder: I responded by turning around and hitting him in the stomach with a palm strike. He was ok and I didnt get in trouble, but after that he made sure not to touch me unless I could see him.

I generally don't like any affection unless it's from a significant other (and I haven't had one of those in 5 years).

If I really, really, really (insert another billion or so "really"s here) like someone, then I will want physical contact with them. Otherwise, I dislike being touched.
I hate light touch; it burns (gentle is fine, but there has to be at least some pressure; if something is just brushing against my skin, it hurts).
I also hate being touched without warning.

I usually don't like being touched. Whenever my mom or someone insists on hugging me, i kind of go stiff and they say "put your arms around me!" I can tolerate it, but it makes me uncomfortable. At my sister's wedding one of my relatives that doesn't really know me very well hugged me, and he asked my dad later if i didn't like him for some reason or if he had offended me because i seemed really uptight when he tried to hug me, and dad was just basically like "oh, that's just how she is with EVERYONE, it's not you," lol. I don't really like the contact involved in shaking hands either, but i do it anyway. A few times i've even initiated a handshake or high-five if i thought it was appropriate to the situation. Those are things i can prepare myself for better than something like a hug where they want to get themselves right up on you. I reallly hate being bumped in a crowd or when someone sneaks up on me. Someone i know at work has snuck up behind me a couple times and grabbed my shoulders, but i keep telling her not to do it. It wouldn't bother me so much if i wasn't always already a little stressed just from being at work. I am sensitive to certain feelings, but i don't feel any kind of pain or burning from being touched.. The contact with another person is what i think makes me uncomfortable(don't mind it with non-human animals one bit!).. And if i'm not expecting it it's because of the shock or surprise, i guess. My parents say that when i was a little kid i didn't mind hugs and stuff, though. It's weird, i dunno. But this is one of the reasons that my mom first suspected that i might have AS before i even knew what AS was... Because, aside from the social deficits and obsessions, she heard at some point that a lot of AS people don't like being touched, lol.