Were you a Good Little Aspie?
I have no problems with authority. Infact, I prefer it.
I used to get pissed at kids in school who would talk/goof off in class. Even if the teacher was ok with it. I used to have one teacher who had no structure in her classroom and all the kids would just play around and talk and we learned absolutely nothing. I hated that class and would spend the entire time at my desk doing homework from other classes, infuriated by the lack of discipline.
There's a good example of how I was as a kid. Actually, the above was in highschool
I was really snotty and obnoxious (kinda still am); I didn't know any social cues and didn't pay attention in class. And I always got in trouble for not being able to keep my hands to myself because if someone had really long hair, I'd always want to play with it even without their permission.
_________________
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Dalai Lama
Structure - yes! This is a rather complex subject with me, because I'm not sure I have the words to fully explain it. But I need to have some sort of control over my environment - especially when it comes to dealing with other people. Not that I need (or even want) to be dominant - far from it. I need to know where the boundaries are - and provide for myself a sense of "local coherence" (this is fast becoming my favorite phrase.) So rules help me do that.
Often, I make a sort of working hypothesis (which I call a "rule") for how I think people interact in a given situation. Then I try following my "rule." If I'm successful, I keep the rule. If not, I change the hypothesis. Sometimes my "rules" change so fast that people around me think I'm acting randomly.
I need the coherence - which for me, usually means following rules that other people have made up. But on occasion, if I feel that the existing rules are too oppressive - I will attempt to change the "game" to one with better rules.
I totally get your desire to be true to yourself - and you need to do what you have to in order to achieve that. Pushing at the boundaries is your way of establishing "local coherence." We use the tools we have at hand.
_________________
"I am likely to miss the main event, if I stop to cry & complain again.
So I will keep a deliberate pace - Let the damn breeze dry my face."
- Fiona Apple - "Better Version of Me"
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Some good news... |
24 Nov 2024, 8:32 pm |
Are you a good friend |
26 Dec 2024, 11:16 pm |
Any Good Totally Free Dating Sites? |
24 Nov 2024, 8:33 pm |
What makes autistics happy and living good lives? |
14 Dec 2024, 5:50 am |