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cosmiccat
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09 Oct 2009, 11:47 am

The list was very validating for me. One thing that I had never heard spoken of before in relation to Aspie females was the over sensitivity to any kind of medicine. I take nothing, even though much has been prescribed over the years. I even seem to get adverse reactions to vitamin pills and herb teas. I'm going to make a copy of this list and show it to my doctor. Good luck with your book. And oh, public meltdowns, I've had my share of them. Shudder.



mgran
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09 Oct 2009, 12:02 pm

Okay, in bold, those things which fit:

Eccentric personality apparently (according to anyone I ever knew, who bothered to tell me what they thought of my personality.)
Often musical, artistic Definitely... singer, pianist, guitarist, and play lots of ethnic and medieval instruments. Also a painter, write poetry, have had fiction published in several different languages.
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc.. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficitsDiagnosed auty as a child, had an obvious learning disability with maths (later diagnosed dyspraxic and dyscalculic... but score very highly on mathematical tests nowadays.)
May have a savant skill or strong talent(s) I speak twelve languages.
May have a strong interest in computers, games, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature When I was younger I attempted to invent submarines, daleks and flying machines with my brother. I outgrew it. (He didn't.) Although I've built computers etc, I wouldn't say I'm interested in them.
Most of the time, she will be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess other self-taught skills as well. Many of those skills will be traditionally thought of as male I thought hyperlexic was someone who could "read" fluently, but didn't necessarily understand the content? I was exceptionally precocious as a child reader (I was reading Paradise Lost and Dickens at the age of seven) but I did in fact understand most of what I was reading, if not all the nuances. I taught myself to play the piano by ear to an intermediate level before my parents got me tuition (when I was twelve.) I could play several classical pieces by ear before I'd been taught anything (as an example, the Entertainer, and Fur Elisse)
Emotionally immature and very sensitiveVery sensitive, and probably immature, but I'm too much of a baby to admit it.
Is often misunderstood and thought to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly I've been accused of being cold and self centred, but also been considered warm and very friendly. This ia a half and halfer.
Anxiety and fear are prevalent emotions Not really. They used to be when kids were pushing my head down toilets...
Strong sensory issues--sounds, smells, etc and is prone to overload. yup: smell, hearing, and light are particularly bad issues, though some fabrics are intolerable.
Sometimes has meltdowns in public, sometimes over seemingly small things (sensory issues usually) It has happened, but now I know the signs I can avoid it. Supermarkets, London Underground are particular hotspots.
Is very outspoken at times, mute at others. May get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests Yup
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS Oh dear... try and stop me. :oops:
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance' I've definitely worked out how to fit in... I learned to act. Also made a conscious study of body language, facial expression, to help me learn how to act. I'm often conscious of studying in social situations.
Doesn't go out much. (Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them)Definitely, though I've now started going out to a local choir group, since the music we're studying is gorgeous, intricate, and it gives me a common ground to talk with others on. (The conductor has had to remind me that she's instructing others on musical theory, so I do need to shut up a little there...)
Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or having get-togethers to watch chick-flicks I wouldn't watch a chick flick if you paid me. I might burn one though... Recently I was dragged out to do something girly with a friend (clothes shopping) and had a horrible melt down in Marks and Spencers, because she insisted something suited me that just felt wrong (it was all tassles and rough on my skin.) If I have to shop for clothes, I'd sooner do it with a bloke. "Does it fit?" "Yes," "is it comfortable?""Yes," "Can you afford it?" "Yes," "Cool. Sorted."
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached No friends, I don't know how to keep them.
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone Took it very seriously, but now I'm widowed, I'm happy to be alone, and don't expect to meet anyone else.
If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempts to let him know, e.g. she may call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn't understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity
THIS IS THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T FIT - When I fancied someone I let him know, if he was interested, fine, if not, I wasn't bothered. I was more bothered with being stalked than stalking. The two men I fancied the pants off, fortunately fancied me.
Usually loves animals but not always due to sensory issuesLove animals, involved in animal rescue, have several pets, and have been described as "spooky" in my ability to communicate with animals of various different species. (cats, dogs, equines.) For the record, all horses speak Gaelic.
Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality Yup
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes. Have been refused alcohol, despite being thirty eight.
May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance I'm not sure what androgynous traits means. In the past, however, I have been mistaken for a man, even though I've got big boobs, hips, etc. I've been told I "walk like a man", for example. I find a lot of female body language baffling (laughing and glancing coyly, toying with hair, etc.)
May not have a strong sense of self, and can be very chameleon-like, especially until older (forties, fifties) or until diagnosed Until recently I've always defined myself around the men I loved. (However, the men I loved defined themselves around me, so it wasn't so bad.)
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bi-polar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed. (Often doctors are dismissive of her protests when she takes issue with these diagnoses) Yup... though the moodiness etc have got better, and I'm definitely not bipolar. (Bipolar and manic depressive are the same diagnoses, so this part of the list needs to be tightened up.)
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions. (**Temple Grandin recommends smaller doses of meds and supplements for autistics--I concur.)Oh, definitely... 2 mil of diazapan has me zonked for days.
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees Yup, that's also true.
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly Yup, to the eternal frustration of my Dad.
Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting (see my book "working with AS" or "Asperger's on the Job") Oh Lord, yes...
Usually smart as a whip, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend. Again, due to sensory and cognitive processing issuesApparently so, according to those who know me.
She may like rules, discipline, regulation, despite unconventionality. May seem old-fashioned in some ways--very Jane Austen or Emily Bronte in thinking and manners, which will seem contradictory to her progressive nature I have been told that I speak like an eighteenth century novel, and that people can hear the paragraphs and subclauses...
Very rigid in certain habits, again which will contradict her seeming spontaneity Yes
Needs control over her world; hence, usually happiest at home or in other controlled environmentYes... and I don't like letting anyone into my house, at all.
Will usually be very proud and protective of the gifts that autism has bestowed, but would like to be more at ease in the world and suffer less. Well, yes... of course I'm proud that I'm technically a polyglot genius, but I must admit, it makes life difficult when everybody thinks you're showing off because you're smarter than they are. And also, what's the point of having a stonking IQ if you have executive disorder, and feel alone in the world?

But I'd still rather be who I am than anyone else.



j0sh
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09 Oct 2009, 12:23 pm

I only saw 3 or 4 things on that LONG list that would be specific to females only.



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09 Oct 2009, 12:24 pm

Yes...a lot of the stuff on the list fits me...if not dead-on..then in a roundabout way...
Maybe I will go into detail later.

I participated in some of Rudy Simone's interviews..but I think for some reason, that the e-mails started bouncing into my partner's e-mail and I stopped receiving them...
Also, i was supposed to participate in a research study for a supplement for women with irritable bowel syndrome, but had trouble keeping my journal...then might have misunderstood the intstructions some how...and ended up never turning my journal in..so I hope she is not mad at me..



zombiecide
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09 Oct 2009, 12:34 pm

Magneto wrote:
Wow, I'm a girl... :lol:

Most/all of that list has nothing to do with gender, and present quite often in males. I notice the person who wrote the list didn't bother to interview any males to ensure that they knew which traits were gender specific.


Which is what made me think that the whole point was to give guidelines to find AS women between NT women, not in a mixed-gender group of AS persons ...



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09 Oct 2009, 12:41 pm

I didn't do a count, but I'd say that no more than half of the items apply to me. And, as has already been mentioned, many of the traits on the list are not gender-specific. If they were seperated out, the list might be more useful. At least, she often says "may" instead of making all-inclusive statements.


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09 Oct 2009, 1:12 pm

The majority of these are true for me, except that I LOVE to shop. But in my case I think it's more of an obsession than typical girliness. I also have more masculine facial features so I make up for it by dressing and appearing very feminine (does that make sense?)

Despite all of that though, I must always be comfortable. But no sweatpants.



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09 Oct 2009, 1:35 pm

pinkbowtiepumps wrote:
The majority of these are true for me, except that I LOVE to shop. But in my case I think it's more of an obsession than typical girliness. I also have more masculine facial features so I make up for it by dressing and appearing very feminine (does that make sense?)

Despite all of that though, I must always be comfortable. But no sweatpants.


I shop, but not typical girlie shopping and going to the mall and all. I go to dollar stores-love them because they always have interesting odds and ends things to play with. Ours has a lot of brain teaser type puzzles that I love to mess with, and they have a LOT of sensory type toys as well.


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09 Oct 2009, 1:55 pm

zombiecide wrote:
Magneto wrote:
Wow, I'm a girl... :lol:

Most/all of that list has nothing to do with gender, and present quite often in males. I notice the person who wrote the list didn't bother to interview any males to ensure that they knew which traits were gender specific.

Which is what made me think that the whole point was to give guidelines to find AS women between NT women, not in a mixed-gender group of AS persons ...

I think the point was mainly what AS looks like in a girl, since usually girls with AS don't get diagnosed because it doesn't present the same way as in boys. That doesn't mean that those features don't apply to males, but more that they might just not stand out as much. When people think "Asperger's," if they have any idea what it is, they picture a boy. If they don't have any idea what it is, and you tell them it's a type of autism, they think it means mental retardation.



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09 Oct 2009, 2:05 pm

There are a few things here that don't fit me. Not particularly a techie, no bowel troubles, and while I was rather 'old-fashioned' when I was younger, it had a lot to do with me having been raised in a very old-fashioned family...I look back at myself in my 20s and I seem middle-aged; now, in my 40s, I feel a lot younger. I do often talk in an old-fashioned formal kind of way, though. Also, wouldn't call myself a savant; I have a talent for memorizing reams of useless information, but that's not quite the same!

Apart from those, everything on that list is spot-on. If the little girl I used to be were in school today, I have no doubt I'd be picked up on and diagnosed in a shot.


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09 Oct 2009, 2:24 pm

ThatRedHairedGrrl wrote:
There are a few things here that don't fit me. Not particularly a techie, no bowel troubles, and while I was rather 'old-fashioned' when I was younger, it had a lot to do with me having been raised in a very old-fashioned family...I look back at myself in my 20s and I seem middle-aged; now, in my 40s, I feel a lot younger. I do often talk in an old-fashioned formal kind of way, though. Also, wouldn't call myself a savant; I have a talent for memorizing reams of useless information, but that's not quite the same!

Apart from those, everything on that list is spot-on. If the little girl I used to be were in school today, I have no doubt I'd be picked up on and diagnosed in a shot.


I agree with that one regarding myself...I really and truely stood out like a sore thumb among the other kids...with many AS-typical difficulties

there are things on the list that don't fit me either...I am not a techie, and if I have savant skills, they are very useless and weak....like my thing with always winning at dominoes even though I have dyscalculea and struggle even counting small groups of people....
I did love love love computers when I was young and was really good at teaching myself how to do things on them and whatnot...but that did not turn me in to a techie.
I am also not highly educated..I did very badly in school..and higher education was too cumbersome and expensive for me to continue with for very long....I had no guidance...had the same troubles I had when I was younger....and just as it had been when I was younger, my only friends were students who spoke very little English..who I tutored....I was complimented that I was a very good tutor and that I could have gotten paid to tutor students...but that was the only value that my Community College experience gave me.
Also, as an adult, I do have friends...just no female friends....



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09 Oct 2009, 2:56 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
zombiecide wrote:
Magneto wrote:
Wow, I'm a girl... :lol:

Most/all of that list has nothing to do with gender, and present quite often in males. I notice the person who wrote the list didn't bother to interview any males to ensure that they knew which traits were gender specific.

Which is what made me think that the whole point was to give guidelines to find AS women between NT women, not in a mixed-gender group of AS persons ...

I think the point was mainly what AS looks like in a girl, since usually girls with AS don't get diagnosed because it doesn't present the same way as in boys. That doesn't mean that those features don't apply to males, but more that they might just not stand out as much. When people think "Asperger's," if they have any idea what it is, they picture a boy. If they don't have any idea what it is, and you tell them it's a type of autism, they think it means mental retardation.

That's pretty much what I meant though my choice of words might not be at its best (English is my second language and I'm in immersion for another language which means that my English suffers quite a bit).



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09 Oct 2009, 3:29 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I agree with that one regarding myself...I really and truely stood out like a sore thumb among the other kids...with many AS-typical difficulties

Yup.. "stuck out like a sore thumb".. exactly.

zombiecide wrote:
That's pretty much what I meant though my choice of words might not be at its best

I thought that was what you meant... :oops: I just have this habit of repeating things in different words in an attempt to make it clearer. Sometimes it makes it less clear, depending on who I'm talking to. Or sometimes it ends up sounding like I'm beating a point into the ground when I'm trying to be sure that I said something the right way, or understood it correctly.



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09 Oct 2009, 3:32 pm

zombiecide wrote:
Maggiedoll wrote:
zombiecide wrote:
Magneto wrote:
Wow, I'm a girl... :lol:

Most/all of that list has nothing to do with gender, and present quite often in males. I notice the person who wrote the list didn't bother to interview any males to ensure that they knew which traits were gender specific.

Which is what made me think that the whole point was to give guidelines to find AS women between NT women, not in a mixed-gender group of AS persons ...

I think the point was mainly what AS looks like in a girl, since usually girls with AS don't get diagnosed because it doesn't present the same way as in boys. That doesn't mean that those features don't apply to males, but more that they might just not stand out as much. When people think "Asperger's," if they have any idea what it is, they picture a boy. If they don't have any idea what it is, and you tell them it's a type of autism, they think it means mental retardation.

That's pretty much what I meant though my choice of words might not be at its best (English is my second language and I'm in immersion for another language which means that my English suffers quite a bit).

But those traits would practically all apply to me if the only thing different about me was my sex. I think that may apply to a lot of other males as well...



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09 Oct 2009, 3:45 pm

Magneto wrote:
zombiecide wrote:
Maggiedoll wrote:
zombiecide wrote:
Magneto wrote:
Wow, I'm a girl... :lol:

Most/all of that list has nothing to do with gender, and present quite often in males. I notice the person who wrote the list didn't bother to interview any males to ensure that they knew which traits were gender specific.

Which is what made me think that the whole point was to give guidelines to find AS women between NT women, not in a mixed-gender group of AS persons ...

I think the point was mainly what AS looks like in a girl, since usually girls with AS don't get diagnosed because it doesn't present the same way as in boys. That doesn't mean that those features don't apply to males, but more that they might just not stand out as much. When people think "Asperger's," if they have any idea what it is, they picture a boy. If they don't have any idea what it is, and you tell them it's a type of autism, they think it means mental retardation.

That's pretty much what I meant though my choice of words might not be at its best (English is my second language and I'm in immersion for another language which means that my English suffers quite a bit).

But those traits would practically all apply to me if the only thing different about me was my sex. I think that may apply to a lot of other males as well...



Yeah. I don’t see this list as a representation of how females may display different Aspie traits. It just looks like a list of common Aspie traits with one or two that are worded to be gender specific.

It’s like a horoscope for Aspie traits. It’s full of very generalized statements that can easily be applied to ones self.

Here’s a list for the guys:
* Has a penis, but may lack the social knowhow to use it with others.
* Often becomes smelly after physical activity.

“OMG, this list describes me perfectly!! !”



zombiecide
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09 Oct 2009, 3:54 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
I thought that was what you meant... :oops: I just have this habit of repeating things in different words in an attempt to make it clearer. Sometimes it makes it less clear, depending on who I'm talking to. Or sometimes it ends up sounding like I'm beating a point into the ground when I'm trying to be sure that I said something the right way, or understood it correctly.


Ah, okay. I used to do that in school (pissed off some teachers because the other students asked me when something was unclear, haha), I'm just not used to other people with that habit + I tend to assume it's my fault for not speaking the language well enough. :3


Magneto, I do not doubt that those traits fit you well. It just struck me as odd that so many people seemed to be stuck on gender, whereas the real objective seemed the comparision between AS and NT in the same gender.