Your funniest Asperger's moment

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Your funniest Asperger's moment ?

Trying to form words together in an attempt to communicate via posting at WP

A few weeks ago one of my professors had an article to share with the class. I was sitting up front so I got it first and she told me to read it. So I started reading it.To myself. After a few second of the class being in total silence she said, "Um, could you read that aloud please?" Whoops Duuh.

I was hanging out with two of my friends a while ago and they were joking around together. My friend was referring to herself by her name as if she was someone else, and my other friend was going along with it. After a pause, my friend asked me "Do you know [person's first and last name]?" The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it, so I said, "Yeah, I think so!" They both started laughing. It the other friend who I was with's name, but at the time I hadn't known her that long and only knew her first name. Needless to say I didn't pick up on the sarcasm so it didn't occur to me that it could be her.

when i was little, my mother was asnwering a question one of us kids asked: "why doesnt grandpa fart?" she told us he simply spread his cheeks so it was silent.
well a moment later i shouted out frustratedly "it's not working!" and she looked and i was standing there pulling my face cheeks out with my hands, farting.


honestly, looking back...what sort of a family do i have?

an amusing incident that i remember that happened relatively recently was that my girlfriends father had a friend who was a policeman who was a "sargent " (or something like that) and he was gunned down in some event. it was on the national news for days.

when i went to pick up my girlfriend, her father started to talk at me about his policeman friend, and he said "he will be remembered by both his colleagues and his friends".
i said "it is strange that he had only 2 colleagues". he became extremely annoyed (violently so) and i slipped away with tammy and we went to my place and i worked out my mistake eventually.

that is not the "funniest" moment i have had, but i found it amusing after i worked out how i misperceived what he said.

Was getting ready to go cycling one day.

I have great difficulty getting ready cos I always forget something, mileage recorder, gloves.............helmet!

Anyway, I filled up my water bottle and got distracted.

Couldn't find my water bottle anywhere. I checked all over the kitchen, living room, even thought about checking upstairs, EVEN though I knew I hadn't gone up there.

All of a sudden I looked down and I saw that the bottle was in my hand!

I was also carrying my cell phone in the same hand which is (one of) the reason(s) that I couldn't feel it.

When I was a kid I got in trouble at school (I can't remember why) and the English teacher decided to punish me by making me learn a poem. I didn't understand that this was a punishment, since my obsession is, and always has been, languages, and the way they work. I love poetry.

So, at the age of eleven, I learned the Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock, and the day of my punishment I was very excited, because I would be able to show the English teacher how clever I was, since I'd learned the whole poem off by heart.

He was lucky... I also knew the first two books of Milton's Paradise Lost off by heart, I could have gone for that instead. Quite why I didn't, I don't know... I just do know that the English teacher had difficulty getting me to shut up and stop reciting, because I wanted to finish the poem. He never gave me that punishment again.

[RUNS TO THE WINDOW. OPENS WIDE AND SHOUTS] "YOU'RE ALL PRESS!!"

I realized once I had left my glasses at home. Then I thought, Hey, I can see pretty well without them and you probably know the rest.

I can't leave the house without counting to 7. (It's the checklist to make sure everything is in my briefcase).

Three of the seven are: keys, phone (ARGH!!) and wallet.

So one day there I am at the bus stop, reaching for my bus pass... No bus pass, no house key, and no phone.