How do I avoid the "What do you do?" question?

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Where you get your money from is more intimate info than where you get sex from. That's my opinion, and that's how I live. I don't share with anyone where I get my money from, unless they're people I trust at a certain minimal level. You can smalltalk to me about anything else: trips, food, movies, hobbies, internet, whatever - NOT about my source of sustainance. If it bothers anyone, then so be it, I don't care.

I lie.


I don't believe anyone has the right to know i'm mentally defective unless I want them to know.



No NT would ever walk up to a complete stranger and ask them..."so.... how big is your penis or do you have cellulite?"


But I guess lesser folk like me aren't entitled to the same privacy as NT's eh?

Horus - I don't consider someone on the spectrum as "mentally defective" nor do I consider someone not having a current paid job as "mentally defective." That is a definition that you are giving yourself, unfortunately.

As for the information being personal to you, that is okay. If someone starts a conversation with you and asks what you do for a living, just say that you prefer to keep your worklife private. To make others at ease, and still honour your expectation of privacy, you might use these words, "I appreciate that you are being genuinely engaging when you ask what I do (for a living). However, I would prefer to keep this information private." or something.

Sorry, but asking someone about their occupation is NOT the same as personal questions about their genitalia. To YOU the question about what your work is personal - but this is unique to you and a few others. Honour your uniqueness and keep what you consider personal information personal - but please don't be offended at NTs or other aspies for asking what to them (and almost all of society)is a perfectly normal and appropriate question.

If anyone's seen Office Space, I was just thinking about how this was relevant.

Peter's talking to the waitress and she asks him what he does and he doesn't want to talk about his job because he hates it, but he tells her that he works for that computer company and tries explaining what he does. She can't follow because it's really complicated and then he says "It doesn't matter. I hate my job."

That's something else. I get the feeling I'd have a lot of people who just wouldn't let the topic "die". I don't like talking about my job.

I don't consider people on the spectrum (i'm "only" NLD myself) mentally defective either. After 40 years of self-observation, I define MYSELF as mentally defective simply because a more "positive" definition would seem both irrational and inaccurate.

Considering how poorly I function (and have always functioned) I can't see myself as anything but mentally defective. According to every IQ test i've taken, my FSIQ is between average and very superior. I strongly believe these tests have grossly overestimated my true neurocognitive profile. I believe I have profound cognitive and memory deficits most people (including those with NLD/AS) don't have. If so...these deficits have yet to be officially diagnosed. And I can't afford any further and more extensive neuropsychological testing So....being that I strongly believe I have some severe, highly idiosyncratic and undiagnosed cognitive/memory deficits, I really don't think a self-definition of "mentally defective" is too off the mark.

With all due respect CB, this idea that EVERYONE should "honor their uniqueness" seems a bit sentimental to me. Ted Bundy was a rather unique individual whose "uniqueness" brought hell into countless lives. My own "uniqueness" has brought nothing but hell into my own life, so I really don't see how this is something I should honor.

Sorry...I just don't know why I should honor a "uniqueness" which has totally robbed me of everyone of my dreams, hopes, goals, etc.....

Hi Horus,

When I said, "Honour your uniqueness," I was specifically referring to your aversion of the question "What do you do?" You don't owe anyone an answer to this question if you find it intrusive (regardless of whether most people think that this is a normal/common icebreaker question) and that your need for privacy around this issue should be respected by those around you.

Your illogical leap to Ted Bundy "respecting his uniqueness" in being a sadistic mass murderer is not relavent to what I was saying at all.

Sorry.....it was illogical.