Who notices you're different?

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Ok, this is beyond the scope of the thread topic, but as you insist:

You know people find you strange/weird/atypical when they themselves start acting strange/weird/atypical (for their own standards) towards you.

One example is when you're with someone and you two meet someone new. After, say, a half hour of being together all three talking and sharing time, the new person asks for advice, opinion or a suggestion on something minor - and they only look at the other persoh while asking, never look your way, then take (or comment on) the other person's advice/opinion/suggestion, don't even seem to have heard yours. This denotes distrust, which after such a short time and nothing you did to break their trust, only denotes they find you too different to rely on your opinions/suggestions/advice. I know that in my case, people find me different after about a half hour.

Everybody, I guess. They notice I am not like others, but they are unable to pinpoint the exacts of what makes up this difference. Beyond that, their decision to view me and way to treat me depends on what they make of their awareness of my difference based on their personality and opinions.

Sometimes, it can mean that others are aware of why I am the way I am, but are completely standing by that this behaviour is normal and that it makes me normal too. Others who for example have a more limited definition of normality might view the same behaviour in the same situation as abnormal.

Which is pretty funny, because it frequently appears as if normality is within the eye of the beholder.

They come out with things like "you're... different" in the middle of conversations. I don't ask people what they think of me.

The only way I can maintain an aurora of normal is by being quiet. Otherwise I appear to be an arse or a spaz.

There is a term for it! They are giving you theralene! (see http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt108539.html )

Now, are you sure they don't trust you? After all, no one called you a liar. May be they just "forgot" that you are there, or they "forgot" that you are not a liar. Not that they think you are a liar, they just "forgot" to view you one way or the other in this respect.

To me, the way they overlook what you got to say on a given topic is very similar to Europe "overlooking" that Palestinian attacks were the reasons for Israel's response; they only focus on what was done to Palestinians; never mind what was done to the Jews. Its not like they don't trust Israel. I mean, the only people who call Jews "liars" are really bad antisemites and they are a small minority. Most of the Europeans don't call Jews liars. They simply "forgot" to pay attention to their side of the story. So if NT-s have such a capacity to "forget" or "overlook" tihngs that they don't want to notice, don't you think they do that to you? And since they did such a good job of forgetting you, they also forgot to ask themselves whether you are to be trusted or not, so the topic of distrust didn't even come up.

I've had people say to me "You're so quiet I forget you're here".

No one tells me I'm different but people might think it. I feel really self conscious socially, so I have no idea. Apparently I was diagnosed with Avoident Personality Disorder a while back for I got the AS diagnosis but noooo it wasn't good enough for my parents they had to dig deeper.

Ha! I get that all the time too, but with people I know. I got used to it cos I have an older brother so when we went places together people would direct things at him instead of both of us. But I notice it with everyone now. Sometimes I'm talking to someone and people we both know will come up and start talking to the person I'm talking to and completely ignore me. And you know those circles where people stand around and talk to each other? I get pushed out of those all the time when people stand in front of me. And people talk over me all the time. Need I go on?

Sometimes people call me quiet too, but I hate that. I hate people thinking of me that way. Sometimes I say "sorry, what would you like me to say?" in a nasty tone. Screw em.

not quite. i say "normal" loosely. whilst i may not stand out particularly, no one really engages me in conversation (except for maybe these 4 people, and it's usually brief), or acknowledges me, or listens to me. i actually will be talking to someone, and then they will just leave, mid-sentence. i have one friend i substantially hang out with at school. shes really awesome though, and we're more like family, as i met her through my parents and weve known each other for almost 4 years.

Well, when we talk of theralene-type forgetfulness, they forget about you if you are unpleasant, not quite. And this leaves you wondering, if you are not quiet, then just what stops them from noticing you? Israel is definitely not quiet, they make a lot of fuss. And yet they are being "ignored". Why?

Everybody knows that I'm different.

I think quiet means quiet in this case. Considering that I'd sit still and not contribute to the conversation.

My dad noticed when I was very young(but my mom insisted I was normal).

My sister and her friends notice and noticed.

My cousins noticed when we were very young.

At least one aunt noticed.

My elementary school teachers noticed.

The other students definitely noticed.

I think my middle school teachers noticed but I stayed home a lot from middle school.

My high school teachers noticed.

While in college I talked to even fewer people than in high school, but many people still noticed.

Co-workers definitely notice.

People in public places notice.

I think that most people notice very quickly.