Spotting an Aspie/NT

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ediself
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03 Dec 2010, 7:40 pm

i don't think 1 in 300 qualifies as rare....there's 300 children in the average primary school....

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TPE2
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03 Dec 2010, 9:42 pm

ediself wrote:

i don't think 1 in 300 qualifies as rare....there's 300 children in the average primary school....

This mean that most aspies are the only aspie in their primary school.

Megz
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03 Dec 2010, 10:08 pm

I do best spotting people I know casually, such as a couple of my team mates from the math team in high school. One of them I'm sure is either AS or HFA, the other one I'm pretty sure he's an Aspie. I think he thinks so too because on Facebook I saw the little notification "****** has started using the quiz 'where are you on the Autism Spectrum?'" but he never posted results. We go to the same college now, and I wish I knew him better, so maybe we could talk about it. But with my close friends (what other kind are there really?) that I identify with especially strongly, I'm starting to wonder if they're Aspies, but I can't tell. All my friends fall into either the "100% NT" or "maybe AS" category. Although I wish I could find some Aspie friends. I think that would be a really special kind of friendship if we could just throw any notion of caring about social rules to the wind.

IceCreamGirl
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31 Jan 2011, 3:52 pm

If someone talks in an "Aspie" way (slow, lots of pauses,) I can tell that they're an Aspie--even though not all Aspies talk that way.

TTRSage
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31 Jan 2011, 4:28 pm

TPE2 wrote:

Asperger Syndrome is a condition so rare (1 person in 300, I think) that I doubt that is possible spot them; much probably you will interact with so few aspies during your life that will be very difficult to "train" an Aspie-dar.

The CDC reports 1 in 112 (or is it 115) people have some form of ASDs, while I think the figure for AS is something like 1 in 500. I went looking for those stats not long ago but was unable to find a definitive source.

I like your use of the term Aspie-dar as similar to gaydar, but with both you cannot tell purely by looks. It is behavior that would be the giveaway in either case and requires a little bit of observation. Of course once you have done a fair amount of observation of a given person and can begin to see patterns of behavior emerging, it becomes somewhat easier to figure out.

The person who intrigues me the most in this world originally impressed me as being a gung-ho super NT type who would probably not give me the time of day. I began to notice his Aspie traits soon after that but only after months of observation did I begin to realize that he was a profoundly affected Aspie. Now I would be totally shocked if I found out he was NT.

simon_says
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31 Jan 2011, 4:38 pm

If you know a person with AS, it's often easy to spot the fragments in the relatives. But that's a seperate issue. I know one diagnosed person in real life and it's easy to see it in his parent.

I have known several people over the years that may have had it. But they may not, or they may just have fragments, or have a family member who expresses it more fully. That would have been interesting to explore in retrospect.

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Attwood says 1 in 250 might be possible for AS in his guide. But iirc it wasnt based on much.

Yensid
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31 Jan 2011, 5:34 pm

simon_says wrote:

Attwood says 1 in 250 might be possible for AS in his guide. But iirc it wasnt based on much.

I don't take the statistics too seriously. Certain professions and activities attract Aspies. There is a strong genetic element. So if you are an Aspie, it is much more likely that you will meet other Aspies than the statistics would suggest.

Personally, I work in academia, and practically everybody I meet has some Aspie traits. I mean: socially a bit odd, talks obsessively about their interests, dresses a bit strangely, rigid mindset. That describes a lot of people. That said, I don't think that there are many true Aspies among my coworkers, just people with a lot of the traits.

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simon_says
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31 Jan 2011, 5:51 pm

I'm sure that he means people who meet the full diagnostic criteria.

Yensid
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31 Jan 2011, 6:17 pm

simon_says wrote:

I'm sure that he means people who meet the full diagnostic criteria.

I work in a building with about 250 people. Statistically, you would expect 1 Aspie. I will bet that there are a lot more than that who meet the formal diagnostic requirements, because it is such an Aspie-friendly environment. I would not be surprised to find that there were -- just throwing out a number -- 10 people who could be diagnosed with AS.

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ScottyN
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01 Feb 2011, 3:28 am

For a true aspie, with all the traits, it is more like 2 in 10,000. It would be therefore hard to spot one when it is so very rare. I don't remember a whole lot of people I could say I would label AS.

Verdandi
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01 Feb 2011, 4:51 am

ScottyN wrote:

This sounds pretty self-fulfilling.

All the traits aren't even required for diagnosis.

bee33
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01 Feb 2011, 5:08 am

alana wrote:

on the internet I can spot a female aspie because in debate her behavior is so different from other females. She doesn't back down. She doesn't flirt or soften the blows. If she knows she is right, you have to pry her off with claw marks. She differs from the traditional NT 'b***h' in that she is not overly dramatic or emotional, her remarks are emotionless and aimed at clarifying what she believes to be the truth, not at dominating or shutting down other people. People do not know how to cope with it. NT females, no matter how much they consider themselves to be an 'alpha' (or whatever sociopathic garbage label NT use to justify praising bad behavior as desirable), when it comes to losing male attention or regard, will either sweeten up their words, find a way to flirt with the dominant males on the forum, post a picture of their cleavage, or whatever. Aspie/hfa women won't, they don't care what people think about them and who likes them or doesn't like them based on an argument, all that matters to them is the truth. When I used to be on political message boards it always used to make me laugh how uncomfortable this would make people to deal with a woman who argues 'like a man'.

That's interesting. On a forum I used to be on, everyone assumed I was a man. I also notice that here on WP the posts by NTs tend to stand out as being somehow different.

But in real life I don't think I could spot an Aspie. I don't think I know any, though I have a friend who thinks she is AS, but I have no way of gauging if she is or not.

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01 Feb 2011, 5:33 am

bee33 wrote:

alana wrote:

I'm trying to figure out if alana's been stalking me on other forums. Not that I would characterize my argument style as "like a man" but yeah, her description is how I think I argue.

It's weird how NTs constantly read emotion into my arguments and attack those, however. I am so tired of addressing the fake subtext attacks.

ToughDiamond
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01 Feb 2011, 6:07 am

Yensid wrote:

simon_says wrote:

I'm sure that he means people who meet the full diagnostic criteria.

I think there could be a lot of truth in this - Aspies probably gravitate towards the workplaces that they feel they can tolerate best.....when I told my counsellor what my job was, she said "Good! That's the line of work that people with AS tend to cope best in."

Ditto for non-paid environments. In the music club I'm in, out of 4 people we have one diagnosed Aspie (me), and 2 who seem to be Aspies. The fourth one is very shy and rarely turns up, so I haven't been able to assess him yet. I think we often develop an intuitive filter to keep "normal" people out of our lives.

ScottyN
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01 Feb 2011, 3:43 pm

verdandi wrote "that sounds pretty self-fulfilling".

I did not mean it to come off that way. It is just that I do have almost all of the traits. Maybe only the major points are necessary for a diagnosis, so more like 1 in 500 or so people have AS.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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01 Feb 2011, 4:04 pm

People can always tell I'm slightly different, even over the internet, even without me saying anything about myself. Most the time, I can't tell about other people. To me, they seem pretty much the same, except for one or two standing out, only over the internet, though.
In person, no one seems to stand out. Even people who aren't part of the mainstream seem to blend in on a basic level. I feel like the only one who is truly "different," while everyone else is trying to be the same, accomplishing the same objectives. I feel like the clueless one, trying to figure out how they are so driven and why I don't have what they possess, the innate desire to be with others no matter what, because they feel it's a key to fulfilling their destiny.
I find myself studying others, hoping some of it will rub off, but, at the end of the day, I just can't find the motivation to continue on and do what it takes to be a success by society's standards.
I never notice anybody experiencing this when I go out. Maybe the ones like me are busy doing stuff at home most the time, and since they are content being loners, I don't get a chance to see them? In that case, I wouldn't be able to accurately access how many are out there who are like myself. I can only have faith that they exist out there. Somewhere.

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