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How did you guys know you couldn't pick up on that stuff?

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ursaminor
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28 Feb 2010, 5:28 pm

auntblabby wrote:
every single one of my shortcomings had to be pointed-out to me in graphic detail. it was a bunch of different things which totalled-up to offensive. i remember reading years ago about how the unabomber [ted kaczynski] had the same problem, he was utterly unaware of his faults such as BO from never bathing, it had to be explained to him as one explains something to a small child, that BO is offensive to other people even if one does not notice it oneself. "theory of mind" is the issue here.
What is BO?



happymusic
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28 Feb 2010, 6:40 pm

BO = body odor



WoundedDog
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01 Mar 2010, 2:10 am

I had the feeling since I was about 11 years old that the world was "passing me by." People in school engaged each other and I was always on the outskirts or "just there."

I just figured I was awkward until I got to college and realized that I was definitely missing a large piece of the puzzle than I had originally settled on. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin (to this day) and I would feel helpless at parties and group projects.

Every job I ever managed to get would soon see me on the chopping block due to cliques of co-workers not seeing me as "one of them," or general office politicking. I tried to remain as neutral as possible, usually preoccupied with my own day-to-day emotional management. I always chalked it up to not being able to "wow" people with my presence like others seemed to do effortlessly.

Still, it took a bad break-up and then a string of bad experiences to happen last year before I realized that it was more than just me being severely unlucky.



auntblabby
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01 Mar 2010, 6:25 pm

WoundedDog wrote:
Still, it took a bad break-up and then a string of bad experiences to happen last year before I realized that it was more than just me being severely unlucky.


but at least you had a signifigant other, that is relatively well-functioning, IMO.



WoundedDog
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01 Mar 2010, 6:36 pm

auntblabby wrote:
but at least you had a signifigant other, that is relatively well-functioning, IMO.


Well, yeah. We met early on in life and we both had 'social hopelessness,' for lack of a better term. There were many times in her life when I was the only friend she had. Once she outgrew her awkwardness and found a clique, she couldn't get rid of me quick enough.

Sorry for derailing... I'll save it for another thread.



MONKEY
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01 Mar 2010, 6:53 pm

I know I've already posted but
I have always looked back on my childhood with rose tinted glasses. At the time I was pretty happy because I was pretty much oblivious to what people thought of me for the first 10 years or so, and was baffled whenever someone was hostile towards me.

On facebook I was delighted to see a photograph from my year 6 trip to standon bowers from autumn 2003 on someone's profile...
Image

...But then I read the comments :x
Image
I honestly don't remember having "tantrums" every night and I never thought for a million years that I was "hilarious". It just shows how clueless I was and my rose tinted glasses suddenly smashed.
The girl with the lilac top was my best friend and she was genuine and we lasted for a while but the others either tolerated me or didn't like me at all.


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ursaminor
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01 Mar 2010, 7:00 pm

ImagePeople actually type like that?
Baffling!
Also, very confusing.
I cannot imagine them typing this, it must look awkward.



MONKEY
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01 Mar 2010, 7:07 pm

^^It does my head in when people Type LYk Dis. Why can't people just type in proper english? Yeah the odd LOL or LMAO is alright but to go out of your way to misspell everything and put capitals in the beginning of every word is just ridiculous.


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auntblabby
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01 Mar 2010, 7:14 pm

WoundedDog wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
but at least you had a signifigant other, that is relatively well-functioning, IMO.


Well, yeah. We met early on in life and we both had 'social hopelessness,' for lack of a better term. There were many times in her life when I was the only friend she had. Once she outgrew her awkwardness and found a clique, she couldn't get rid of me quick enough.

Sorry for derailing... I'll save it for another thread.


you should look at it as her loss. she failed the test.



TheDoctor82
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01 Mar 2010, 7:45 pm

ursaminor wrote:
ImagePeople actually type like that?
Baffling!
Also, very confusing.
I cannot imagine them typing this, it must look awkward.


you should've seen what my classmates wrote for themselves in our year book; it made even less sense than this...



League_Girl
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01 Mar 2010, 10:02 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
ursaminor wrote:
ImagePeople actually type like that?
Baffling!
Also, very confusing.
I cannot imagine them typing this, it must look awkward.


you should've seen what my classmates wrote for themselves in our year book; it made even less sense than this...



What did they write?



TheDoctor82
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01 Mar 2010, 10:08 pm

as an example of one of my classmates:

"Ames,Am-Likes clubs, Just chillin+hittin the Ls. CO-Always remembver" Oh God it's Joe" Achul down the shore"Yo this pretzel tastes nasty"+Those dayz we chilled hardcore! KC-never forget the dayz we had as BFF they were the best.I'll miss you! CL-Thanks for all the good X's.GL-DP+AS-Last day of school 99"Why is my car rolling forward?" ALP-Thank you for being in my life "Yo you got the Ls?" "Oh you're so naughty"I Love You! MOM+MATTHEW I LOVE YOU, THANKS! May my father, (who shall not be named--no, this is me just censoring the name that was put there)+my Grandpa (again, censored) RIP. I Miss You!"

Feel free to make all the sense out of that you want; I mostly fail to.



MONKEY
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02 Mar 2010, 9:26 am

That makes no sense. It looks like they're swapping injokes or something.
But still it makes no sense.


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persian85033
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02 Mar 2010, 1:08 pm

My parents and teachers were always pointing it out.



Brundisium
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02 Mar 2010, 7:22 pm

WoundedDog wrote:
Still, it took a bad break-up and then a string of bad experiences to happen last year before I realized that it was more than just me being severely unlucky.


Yeah I do very badly at break-ups as well. They rarely make logical sense to me and I tend to get frustrated and have long drawn out arguments about why it doesn't make sense.

Worst part is that it's something I'm aware of now, but I still find it hard to stop myself sometimes because I've got no NT basis of comparison to match my reactions against.


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WoundedDog
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03 Mar 2010, 2:11 pm

Brundisium wrote:
Yeah I do very badly at break-ups as well. They rarely make logical sense to me and I tend to get frustrated and have long drawn out arguments about why it doesn't make sense.

Worst part is that it's something I'm aware of now, but I still find it hard to stop myself sometimes because I've got no NT basis of comparison to match my reactions against.


I think I figured out during my last breakup that they don't make sense because there is most likely alot of defensive posturing and dishonesty going on. Alot of NTs aren't frank (even with themselves) about their motivations when they just want out.