Are most Aspies unable to work or live independently?

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And as for living on my own, this is my first and last attempt. I would not have been able to stand having a roommate, but apparently I need someone to babysit me. I really thought it would be a fun opportunity for personal growth. Now, I'm just praying to make it to May 7 in one piece.

I believe the greatest risk is to have never tried. You might find this education and experience valuable in ways you never expectected at some other time. It sounds like your husband and you love each other very much.

Riverspark,
My husband Nobs, who is a regular poster to this site, was so touched by your post that he had me read it. He related to the the fact that your husband is so supportive and loving as he feels I am to him. I related to not feeling like I am contributing to society or my family. (I only have furry children also)
I am a forty something NT who still hasn't figured out what I am going to be when I grow up. I just left a three year severe debt inducing stint in real estate. I've been through various jobs, quit high school, dropped out of college, nothing noteworthy to contribute. Three suicide attempts and a long standing self-steem problem later, I should be completely devistated.
NOT!! ! I am extremely happy in my journey.
Society decides what it expects of us and we seem to believe that is what we have to do. This life is a journey and each of us are on different paths. Conforming to someone elses vision of a perfect life isn't my idea of the best travel plans.
I've learned to be grateful for the little gifts of joy I get and give everyday, for each lesson I grasp and even the ones I don't grasp so easily, and am especially grateful for those folks I love that happen to love me back.
Letting go of expectations, mine and everyone elses, lets me just enjoy the ride. I am not my job or degree. I am what is in my heart and so are you.
And from what I read, your heart is shiny and beautiful.
Keep trying!! !

As a 19 yo with Aspergers, there are increasing pressures in my life that I'd like advice for if anyone can give.

1. How to deal with my parents. Yeah, they try, but idk.

2. I dont really know how to make plans with other people, or get the courage to do so

3. Yeah, I'm really considering a job, but I dont know what's keeping me from getting one. Maybe fear of drastic change?

4. No drivers ed has been taken. what's an easy way to start taking lessons?

5. schoolwork, which often relates to 2.

6. I wanna get things done. I'm just confused and all the pressure seems to be driving me away.

What do I do?

I wish I could live independently, I really did try many times but sensory and comunication problems always turned out too be too much. 15 jobs in the last 10 years, you seriously can't say I haven't tried

I have a job, still live with my mother but I've been thinking that if I wanted to move out it'd be hard but I could do it.
And I realised this at 24. Yeah, I'm slightly behind my peers by about 6 years.

I have not been officially DX-ed with Aspergers, but many consider NVLD and AS to be one and same. Even though it's not a formal DX, I do exhibit most, if not all, the characterstics of *classic* NVLD. I am 40 y/o, unemployed, virtually unemployable and I have never lived independently. To be clear....i'm not saying any of this IS characterstic of NLD, it's just characteristic of ME. In spite of what the various IQ tests i've taken in my life suggest (FSIQ high average-very superior/VIQ superior-very superior/PIQ low average-high average) I appear to have cognitive impairments that most with NVLD/AS do not share.

These cognitive impairments remain a mystery to this day. There is NOTHING on any of my neuropsychological reports which would suggest that my cognitive functioning is any *more* impaired than that of most NLD-ers. And while most NLD-ers have SOME struggles, they ARE able to obtain a college education, a decent profession and independence. I have not been able to BEGIN to do any of these. Unless you consider 8 years to obtain a measly AA in liberal arts (with course substitutions for mathematics to boot) a "beginning".

I can't imagine any human being masochistic enough to CHOOSE the inexpressibly wretched and empty life I have always lived. That said....I obviously have profound neurological problems most with NLD/AS do not have. There is no other logical conclusion I can come to.

I have literally spent years researching the brain and ALL that can possibly go wrong with it. All of this "research" has been an exercise in utter futility. Insofar as my own issues are concerned, I have nothing but a million theories and no conclusions in regards to the neurological origins of them. Needless to say... I am a laymen and one with little or no ability to grasp even relatively simple math, science and statistics at that. Obviously both of these factors limit my capacity to comprehend the esoterica of neuropsychology. Nonetheless...the so-called experts haven't been able to provide me with any better insights.

All they have ever told me is that I fit the pattern of individuals with non-verbal learning disabilities and that my overall cognitive abilities are at least in the high average range. I scored (full scale) 143 on the last WAIS-IV I took 3 years ago and yet i've always functioned at a level you would expect from a mildy mentally ret*d person (or at best...someone with borderline intellectual functioning) in EVERY area of life.

Andy Warhol supposedly scored 60 on an IQ test. While i'm certain he was much more intelligent than that number would suggest, my own situation appears to be the diametric opposite. The author Gore Vidal once said that Warhol was the only genius he knew with an IQ of 60. I seem to be the only mildly mentally ret*d person I know with an IQ 143.

As unbelievable as i'm sure all this sounds to many of you, I can assure you it's true. I can't believe it myself....I often believe i'm some sort of Rip van Winkel who will eventually wake up from this damnably perplexing 40-year nightmare. If no one gains anything else from this post, at least it should serve to illustrate the complexities, mysteries and incongruities of the human brain.

For ME...there is NOTHING positive about NLD or whatever the hell is ultimately wrong with my brain. It has NOT been just a "difference" for me with all sorts of warm and fuzzy attributes. Rather....it has been a profound disability and an unspeakable curse which has destroyed every one of my dreams, hopes, aspirations, etc.....

And to add insult to quite a bit of injury.....I don't even have the meager luxury of knowing WHY i'm so disabled. Even relatively higher functioning people with Down syndrome have that "luxury" (if it can be truly defined as such) and those who are severely/profoundly ret*d likely have the luxury of blissful ignorance.

I, on the other hand...have neither. I do not readily dismiss the importance of knowing the "whys" behind any painful situation in life. Nietzsche said that people can handle any reality so long as they know the "why". I don't entirely agree, since some realities are far too horrific to accept in spite of any answers to their "whys". Nevertheless....we humans must receive SOME psychic benefit from the "whys" or the following questions would never be asked and their answers would never be desperately sought:

"WHY did you torture and murder my daughter Ted Bundy"?

"WHY did you help to shove my entire family into the gas chambers Adolph Eichmann"?

And in my case...."WHY did you rob me of every single hope, goal and aspiration I ever had brain"?


Many of you are quite happy with your neurological difference and as well you should be. I would be the first person to defend you when neurotypicals and organizations like Autism Speaks portray autistic spectrum disorders in a wholly negative light. All I ask is that my more fortunate fellows on the spectrum don't go to the other extreme and pretend that EVERYONE diagnosed with Aspergers, NLD, etc.....is a blessed and unique child of the universe. There is no need for such childish sentimentality. Some of us cannot work and live independently in spite of our best efforts to do so. All the "positive thinking", "hard work" and "self-confidence" in the world is of no use in such cases.

I do voluntary work, but im not capable of being in paid work mainly because my mental health is a significant impact on work. I can cope just about with volunteering as there is a difference i do it monthly but you dont have to go in, if i go to paid work i would not be able to cope going in every day of every week as my mental health is significant impact on me- i tried work experience that didn't do any of my mental health good and it made it 10 times worse.

I tracked down these (I don't think the article is up for free anymore):

Outcome in AS and HFA (based on adult males of various ages):

AS: