I have 'recovered'!

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Give me a break. lol

I've told you my story, and I've responded to what people have said, instead of just ignoring them. If someone thinks ASD can't improve, or doubts that I had/have ASD, I don't think it's inappropriate for me to put the record straight as I see it. And you can't tell whether ANYONE isn't 'trait free' by text - you have to meet them at least. Again, if you don't want to believe me that's your choice - I won't lose any sleep about it.

You seem hell bent on having an argument. I'm not going to continue to agree with you on points you've made and I've agreed with, because then you turn around and disagree with them. The points have been made; I have agreed with much of it.

That aside, you seem offended that the word "recovered" isn't being well received (even if you put it in quotes). What did you expect? To think that you are suddenly not autistic simply because you no longer are diagnosable really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. And it's not just a theoretical difference, and people are not simply splitting hairs here (sorry, don't remember what you had originally said... can't read back in the thread that far.) The criteria may identify the condition based on behavior, but the underlying condition describes a neurology. Those don't just up and change over the course of one's life. You'd have to fundamentally rewire your entire brain to do that, and brains simply don't work that way past a certain age.

There are many accounts of AS hypersensitivies "fading" over time, and it's likely many autistic people out there have had this happen to them. But what exactly does "fading" mean? Does it mean that the actual sensitivity is gone, or have we unconsciously gotten better at avoiding the wrong stimuli and shutting off the "neuron valve" when it threatens to overwhelm us? Not that my experience is necessarily your experience, but for me it's definitely the latter. I can walk down busy, loud streets without reacting to loud noises if I know they are coming. If I don't, though, my anxiety goes way up for a split second until I can manage the noise in my head. I couldn't always do this, so somewhere along the way I learned it. Is the sensitivity ultimately still there? You bet.

My impression is that you see ASDs solely as a list of symptoms, and if you get rid of the list of symptoms you somehow get rid of the ASD. It doesn't work like that. You still have an autistic cognitive style which is with you to the end. It may not be causing you any noticeable problems right now, and that's great. Truly. No one here on this thread is saying otherwise. But don't assume that you are now magically NT. As soon as you throw the word "recovered" into the mix (even if you put it in quotes), that's what many people here think you mean.

I don't specifically care about the word 'recovered'; I'm not attached to it, and I'm happy to use a different word. However Temple Grandin, and other renowned ASD experts, have used the term 'get better'. The difference between 'get better' and 'recover' is pretty nuanced to say the least. This is a semantic and dull debate anyway. What matters to me is what happened, not the precise words used to describe it.

Do I still have an autistic cognitive style? Maybe, or maybe I just have a personality shaped by my experience of having ASD symptoms? Again, pretty nuanced stuff, and pretty irrelevant, to me anyway. What matters to me is that I'm no longer constrained by certain disabilities (if I can use that word), and can now successfully function as a 'normal' adult. Other people with ASD may be happy to live a less conventional life, and don't want to be more NT. Fair enough. But I want a career, relationships, etc, and the disabilities I had prevented me from doing all this (well I had a career and relationships, but they weren't very successful).

I think I've gotten better, but I do not believe that I will ever be "recovered" as the case may be. I prefer to use the term "recovering" instead.

I continue to improve although it takes some doing. I'm a little better conversationally, but still experience lapses. If the other person doesn't keep the conversation going, I can get lost. But at least I do get more and more joy from being with others.

One thing that has truly helped is getting rid of people who perceive something to be "wrong" with me and then making me out to be some sort of deviant while claiming that they really want to help - also those who previously claimed to be friends but now I'm not "good enough" to have around.

I had to realize that people might treat some people well but then mistreat others purposely because they don't like or understand that person. Rather than allowing that to cloud my outlook, now I simply cut such people off without so much as giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Why?

Well, if I continue trying it becomes an obsessive thing to the point that I will become depressed. Now, even though it pisses me off that I get mistreated for being "different" in some ways, I competely cut the crap and move on. I don't even speak to those people and make it known that they are not welcome to so much as approach me.

Then it becomes a matter of turned tables as they start saying I'M mistreating THEM!

I really have no sympathy or empathy for them, either.

Because of that, I'm better able to make a positive connection with those who find me worth the time and effort to become friends with. I feel less like I'm living on the "Wrong Planet" as in the past.

Getting stuck in conversations; cannot get my thoughts together properly when talking or discussing something
This is getting somewhat better as I now hang around people who "get" me and have a keen interest in my presence. Plus, as I mentioned before, I promptly cut off anyone who acts like I'm just too weird or not good enough for them. Therefore, I have less SOCIAL ANXIETY.

Being outside of the group to being in the middle where it seems more is going on even though I’d like to be “a part of” rather than “apart from.”
I was this way as a kid, but still enjoyed spending time alone. Parents always said I could keep myself entertained by myself without other kids around, but worried about me spending so much time alone. Finding a place where everybody knows your name helps nowadays.

Trouble with crowds, avoid socialization
I simply understand that I need to pull back at a certain point. I understand that there are times when friends would like me to participate in events they have, but I understand my limitations. So I might go and stay for a little while and then leave. Sometimes I simply go for a walk or go get a breath of fresh air for a while. Shopping malls and large outdoor events still have me feeling squirrely. Oddly, though, I have little trouble at places like Six Flags. I guess I'm so excited that I lose myself in what's going on. Realizing that it's okay for me to be me has been the solution while trying to meet others halfway.

problems with an eye contact, I still have many troubles, but I am working well on it, although is better not to look, more comfortable
I realize now that it is expected because it's a part of day-to-day communication - even though it's foreign to me. I didn't even realize I had a problem until someone mentioned it to me.

Indifference towards social norms.
Odd beliefs.
Not wanting to be in a relationship - let alone get married. Not odd to me, but an indifference to social norms. Actually enjoying time alone versus having someone there to be with. Being rigidly inflexible about dating on the job. Not sharing a lot of personal information with people I work with just to have conversation or try to make small-talk/friendship. NOT going to change ANY time soon.

"Recovering" actually amounts to "becoming recovered", but "continuing to improve" sounds to me like "diminishing symptoms", and that seems to me to fit best.



I would word some of that a little differently, but I still do essentially the same. Over the years, I nearly drove myself insane (and eventually just stayed drunk to avoid it all) while trying to meet other people's demands or expectations. I now have a better understanding of people who do not understand, but I have no tolerance for others who either cannot or will not be civil and offer the same leeway offered to them. Like someone else said in the "Thinking In Pictures" thread, it is difficult to put all of this into words. However, I do have a definite picture of civility in my mind now, and people who do not seriously try to be in it are readily blotted out.

After 40+ years of adapting, coping, embarrassing social failures, employment problems, diagnoses, anxiety, depression, loneliness and obsessions, I too am more skilled socially than I was as a teenager. Give me another 40 years and I will really have things figured out. Yep, no problems here.

My own observation is that social expectations seem to generally stabilize in adults after 30 years old. Before that, social expectations through school and into adulthood change too fast for many ASDs to keep up. After 30, there are greater opportunities to make up ground on society. How far someone can go depends on many factors but, I believe, is limited by the severity of an individual's underlying deficits.

The issue to me is whether the OP is talking about recovering from symptoms or an underlying deficit. Focusing on symptoms here doesn't get a person very far on this board and is legitimate grounds for debate--see, e.g., how Jenny McCarthy "cured" her non-autistic son of autism-ish symptoms.

Most here will agree that symptoms can usually be addressed (often with hard work over many years) and improved (at least to some extent), for example through social skills training. However, the underlying deficits remain. I marvel at my 6 year old daughter's social intuition, recognition of people's feelings, seemingly innate ability to develop bonds with other people and her ability to just talk for hours while I struggle for a single thing to say to another person. 40+ years and I can almost fake the level of social acuity exhibited by my 6 year old daughter without great embarrassment, but I cannot process or react socially at anywhere near the same level.

That's a great insight. I think it's very true.

Well Im 32 and have just dicovered this week that I am never going to be what others want me to be, socially or otherwise. Ever. So I will have to learn to get used to it. And so will they.

GuyTypingOnComputer wrote:

I think that this is the key here. Because no matter how much I might work on the symptoms, the underlying cause, which is neurological, will always be there - no matter what.

So I think it's great to work on the various issues that arise outwardly from having AS, but for ME to say that I have recovered is to ignore the underlying cause...a form of denial, so to speak.

I want to always be aware of the idea of an underlying cause so that I can stay in the process of recovery, or steady improvement. I might always have to work twice as hard to get half as far, but I won't have to wonder why.

great news.

I have seen great improvement too - http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com

I think as we grow older we become more relaexed and our expectations reduce - those help too

spread the news!

I think it is something about hitting your 30s that makes a lot of things easier. You stoo giving a flying eff about what people think in general. there will still be a certain amount of anxiety and even dysfunction, and life doesn't necessarily get easier, but all the peer pressure to "fit in" is not there. That could be what some of this "recovery" really is.

A therapist thinks they should "delete" my AS diagnosis because I supposedly don't fit the criteria anymore. Does anyone know hard my mum worked with me to be this way? It's insanley hard to be "fake". I want to spit on people and tell them to get the f**k away from me. AS or autism can never be outgrown. I just get caught on "good" days. All they gotta do is follow me home and count how many hours I spend locked away in the "batcave". My parents say it feels like a visit whenever I come out of my bedroom. The one therapist who thinks I have "recovered" from my autism admitted he had never heard of Temple Grandin. Sometimes I think doctors and mental health "professionals" who even know a tiny bit about AS are rarer than rocking horse poop.

Maybe it's that doctors and other professionals think they're doing you a favor by telling people that they've lost their diagnosis. And, as someone who has just discovered Asperger's seemingly by accident, I can tell you that it's totally ludicrous to tell someone to forget that they have something that has always been a part of themselves and is still there despite whatever adaptations of fakeness the person has learned over the years.

I mean, I have been searching and searching for the reasons I am the way I am...struggling to put it into words, but never able to do it. Now I find a possible reason that I had never considered and wasn't even looking for and people want to say that can't possibly be the case. It's not exactly the same, but I can empathize.

I can see why some people on WP cast doubt on professional diagnosis.