Joe90 wrote:
I just get paranoid thinking people are judging me or laughing at me. When I see a group of teenagers I immediately think they have all noticed me and are laughing at my microscopic hardly noticeable differences, like having a nervy introverted way about me when they see my face and body language, although I don't have any obvious nervous body language like excessively twiddling my fingers or flapping my hands or anything like that. I just keep my hands by my sides and walk up straight (yes I move my arms as I walk like everybody else does), and I know how to dress stylish, but I still feel paranoid that there's something about me that makes them laugh.
Today I was walking back from the supermarket with 3 heavy bags, and there happened to be a big group of teenagers walking behind me, and I was walking along feeling really paranoid the whole way. The heavy shopping bags were weighing me down a little, and I was afraid that they will laugh because of that. But I had to calm my thoughts by telling myself that they weren't laughing and that I was just being overparanoid, and that I'm sure they would be weighed down if they were carrying three heavy shopping bags too, I mean, I'm no superhuman.
I get that too. I don't like to call it paranoia when I think people might be judging me for a personal quirk because the word paranoia is so closely related to schizophrenia. I want to distinguish my paranoia (which I just call social anxiety) from an actual disorder. It makes me worry a lot but I still manage.
06 Jun 2013, 1:13 pm
