The need to "always be thinking".

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Have you tried medical marijuana?
I'm being serious here. Anti-depressants are very iffy and don't always work, and they have horrible side effects and addictive qualities. If you've tried marijuana and it hasn't helped, then so be it, but if you haven't, I would recommend looking into it, even if it's just once. I've heard enough success stories (especially with ASD) that I think it might be able to help you.


On the always thinking topic, this is why I hate trying to make conversation with normal people. I don't mean NTs, as the meaning of "NT" is too vague, I think. All of my friends are definitely not on the spectrum, but they're not "neurotypical" either. I can only really connect with oddballs. I find that normal people seem to just talk for the sake of talking, and never really have any substance to their conversations. I just can't do it. I can't think of what to say, and I get bored...

Marshall, Looking back at your first post, and some of the other things you've written, It sounds like you are describing an addiction. You appear to engage in thinking as a way to escape those feelings of emptiness and lack of meaning. What could make your life full and meaningful? What's missing? Instead of masking the problem with escaping into the world of mind, you could instead put your efforts into working out what can bring you those missing elements.

That fundamental distaste you have for those who are not like you probably stands in your way of making connections with people. Not everyone is an intellectual, and that's a good thing. We all have things to offer. Try to see what others have or do that you like, instead of focusing on what they are not and what you don't like.

I know you think that thinking is not the problem, but an overactive mind can rule you, and make you it's b*tch. I'm serious. I assure that even if you could engage yourself in the activity of the mind that you wanted to all day and night, you would not find satisfaction. The suffering will always be there, just masked.

Seriously consider having a look at meditation. It's good for relaxing, beating depression, freeing up energy and controlling your relationship to thought (you can't actually stop the mind from thinking, at least not without going to some serious extremes). You can probably find a class near you. Or there's a bazillion resources on the internet.

The Inertia or lack of motivation you speak of may come as a secondary effect from primary AS effects, for example; an over active mind causing excess fatigue, stress, depression and/or a permanently burned out feeling. AS folks aren't necessarily depressed or unmotivated, it just so happens that a lot of us are.

What exactly is the nature of your spectrum disorder, if you don't mind my asking?

You see, this is the problem, and I'm being completely honest here. I don't know what could make my life more "full" other than the things I happen to enjoy. For many aspies thinking and/or fantasies related to obsessions is the sole thing that provides meaning for them. Then when NT's come along and tell them that the most prized aspect of their life is merely an escape from reality or an addiction this becomes a source of invalidation and self-loathing, which eventually leads to an even greater loss of interest and an emptiness that goes deeper than most can even imagine. I can try to project what other people think they need to have meaning onto myself but that only leads to more self-loathing. I can tell myself that I need a wife, family, house, etc., have a more or less "normal" life, to be more "full", but that would be a lie. The truth is I do not want any of those things. Those things are meaningless to me.


I don't have a distaste for people. I try hard to respect people for who they are, yet I can't find satisfaction in a relationship without the necessary stimulation. I can't relate to people who bore me. Also, I don't necessarily need to talk about "intellectual" or "academic" things, just things I care about, things that can move me on an emotional level.


As a child that suffering was not there. I wasn't always happy, but the dissatisfaction I had never seemed like such a deep seated, indefinite thing that could undermine all my waking moments. Satisfaction and dissatisfaction were more concrete before I encountered depression. Depression has that sense of being an awareness of a void that you never even noticed was there before, yet once you've seen it you always know it's there, even when you aren't looking directly into it. That sense of irreversibility is what's so insidious about it.


Maybe I should try. I can't help feeling skeptical, but anything is worth a try.


I'm not so sure that stress is the cause rather than the effect of inertia. Inertia can be a good thing. It gives me much more mental stamina than most. When I'm working on a problem it's difficult for me to quit until I have it solved. When I'm successful usually my success can be attributed to my inertia. However, lack of motivation is the flip side when I'm either given something that isn't challenging enough for me, involves too much messy/inelegant drudgery, or doesn't fit my learning style / approach. Then it can be nearly impossible to get started. It's something that can work both for and against me.

I think my symptoms of depression and inertia are linked in some profound way, but depression/anxiety isn't the cause of the inertia. It's more fundamental than that. It's not entirely a negative thing, but a part of who I am, even if I realize that it plays a role in my depression.


I'm diagnosed PDD-NOS.

The above is quoted from the first page of this thread, but I am posting my response because if I wait until I have finished reading the remaining pages I may forget what is on my mind right now.

I too am a constant thinker, always have been, am told all the time that I think too much and that my life would be much easier and my health better if I could just stop all the heavy thinking. There is more than a grain of truth to that. However, one does not have to be an extrovert to be physical, nor an introvert to be a thinker. Sometimes I have to pretend to be reading a book or watching TV to disguise the fact that I am really deep in thought, Somehow, watching TV or reading is thought of by certain people as a better use of time than just sitting quietly absorbed in thought.

But, on the other hand, I do some of my best thinking while engaged in mundane but necessary chores, especially if the chore requires a good deal of physicality and promotes good circulation. It's good to feed the brain and keep a fresh blood supply circulating throughout the entire system. Thoughts become more exciting, clear, novel. Ideas start bursting out in abundance, and usually those ideas are healthy, positive, inspiring. Thinking while performing physical labor gives me the reward of knowing that I am accomplishing something that brings about good results such as working in the garden, cleaning up the yard, even the mundane chore of washing up a sink full of dishes, and gives me a sense that I have contributed to the welfare of the family or group and at the same time used my body as it was meant to be used and all the while thinking good and interesting thoughts at the same time. Physical work electrifies my brain and I am able to see problems in a new light and come up with innovative solutions.

bump

Been told the same .



Yes, Yes " Maintaining the pose" is better than the flak.



^There is wisdom in this^
As Ive experienced this , and any challenge to my brain ,although against the grain, is 'definitely therapeutic'.
Ergo , when invited to weddings and receptions and such, I resist the thought and put it on the back burner, and its a doomsday countdown to when the day finally comes in closer , but usually I find someone there to gel with, and once its over my cognition does receives a boost.
Ive experienced that any type of divergent challenge stimulates the brain , and too there is' the helping of others' and this can give a meaning and purpose along with the endorphins.

Overall , if one is clinically depressed though, as in even moderate depression ,' the boot strap remedy' is nearly futile as Ive been here myself.
I'm out of it now and I think a married life is what changed this .
(Ive tried all the antidepressants)

I was just going to suggest this.

Find somewhere quiet where you can sit comfortably, line your spine up comfortably, let your head rest naturally on your neck, rest your arms on your lap, with the knuckles/back of one hand cupped in the other, thumbs lightly touching.

Turn down the lights, any outside distractions.

Let your eyelids droop, and try to relax your gaze as if you were looking forwards through your closed eyelids.

Now begin to breathe in through your nose, expanding your stomach (diaphragm) to fill your lungs, then exhale gently through your mouth.

Let all your inner monologues relax, turn off any internal background music, don't focus on anything but your breathing, in, out, relax.... in, out, relax....

You should begin to feel a sensation which could almost be described as lightheaded, but without the dizzy portion, call it easyheaded.

Now, while keeping your breathing cycle steady, pretend there is a doorway to your right side, back behind you slightly.

In, out, relax...

Now, pretend there is an open expanse to your left side, spread it out as far as you feel comfortable doing this.

For most people, doing this with the door on the right, and the space on the left is relaxing. If you get anxious, try the door on the left, and space on the right.

Whichever arrangement is most comfortable for you, pretend the doorway is moving as you breathe, getting closer, and passing over you as you breathe in, moving away as you breathe out.


If you feel anything at this point, it will probably be a pleasant buzzing above your ears, spreading forwards and back inside your head. Keep breathing and try to move that sensation, imagine it extending out through your scalp like hairs, mine are usually rainbow hued, strangely, and try to wave them back and forth.


My girlfriend has some issues with depression, and ADD, she's currently on zoloft and abilify, she found this to be incredibly comforting.

She also enjoyed it when I suggested she keep her gaze relaxed and pointed forwards, while directing her visual attention upwards towards her forehead, she said it sparkled. When I had her direct it downwards towards her body, she said she saw a tube, with pinkish light near the bottom. I suggested she try to draw the light upwards, and she said it was her "heart", and that it felt warm and happy when it filled the rest of her.

After a couple more breathing cycles, I had her lay down, and think happy thoughts about kittens til she fell asleep, she slept like a rock, didn't move the rest of the night, lol.


The important thing is, it should never make you feel anxious, nervous, sad, or otherwise generate negative emotions. If you begin to feel yourself activating them, try to picture a plane dividing your body in half left/right, and pretend you're swapping the contents of your left side with your ride side, generally the side which triggered negative emotions will be countered with positive emotions after a focus swap.


Other than that, chop wood, carry water.