Hating babies & children

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And what's worse is when parents encourage it in public because they think it's cute!

I was in a grown-up restaurant once and had intentionally gone after the dinner hour so that I wouldn't have to deal with babies and small children making noises that hurt my head. I figured who would be feeding a baby or toddler dinner at 9 pm? I figured wrong.

There was no one in the restaurant when I came in. After I'd been served, a young couple with their baby in a carrier came in and sat two tables away from me. A whole restaurant and they wree two tables away. I figured it would be okay because at that hour the baby was probably asleep.

But they put the baby up on the table and then they started taunting it with food it wasn't even old enough to eat yet. They would wiggle the food in front of the baby's face until it let out an ear-splitting shriek, then they'd laugh. Then they'd wiggle the food again.

After the fifth shriek, each of which was horribly painful -- and by now there is no way I can eat my food -- I summoned up every ounce of patience and politeness I could muster and asked the couple, "could you please keep your baby quiet? It's bothering me."

The couple glared at me and, I swear they said it in perfect unison, shouted, "he can't help it! He's just a baby!"

My patience went out the window. "He can't help it but you can! You're egging him on and making him scream like that. Quit making your baby scream; it hurts my ears and ruins my dinner."

"You're so selfish!" they shot back. "All you care about is YOUR dinner. Remember you were a baby once and have a little compassion for others."

?????

I left. I didn't even get to eat half my dinner. Because I was so selfish.

I love my own kids but I do have a very close friend who can not handle children. Her son has AS and is now an adult...she tried to take care of him but would usually end up giving him over to a relative. She loves him but she had a hard time raising him. I struggle with raising my kids too....I had a hard time with my first three, I was young my my X husband was horrible. Its ok to say that you dont like kids but to go into graphic detail....and this is not the first post...and to actually speak about "eating" dead babies is a bit over the top for me.
Other peoples kids are difficult for me but, like I said, I adore my own. I think I view children the same way I do adults....I dont understand them unless they are mine or Ive been around them long enough to figure them out. I dont like strange kids touching me any more than I do strange adults. Children also tend to be far more intrusive than adults so that is probably why they are more difficult for some of us to take.
As far as the dirty, food on their mouth thing....their parents should be taking care of them. I hate to see kids with snot all over their nose and the parents to do anything about it....now thats gross. I like the way my kids smell....they may have had stinky diapies when they were babies but then again I used to change adult diapers when I was a CNA so babies or nothing. Kids dont smell like adults do, they smell sweet.

I like most of your posts PunkyKat but when you talk about things like this and in this manner its going to upset people. As a parent, my children are precious and wonderful and Im filled with unconditional love for them. I think it is more difficult for most people to enjoy children unless they have their own or they have been able to have younger siblings or a child close to them. However, I strongly agree that some people should not have children. I have another friend who will never have children and although she loves her nieces in and nephews.....and even my kids she can only handle them for so long. Like I said in the other thread. I usually do not make friends with people who have children. I get along better with people who do not have children.

I dont think this is an autistic thing but you may be focusing on things that happened to you in your childhood and applying that to every child you see....displaced aggression, maybe?

You know that scene from Aliens where the alien goes ripping out of John Hurt's stomach? That's kind of how I think about pregnancy.

I hate the sound of crying babies. Some children are okay when they are older, but as a whole I try to avoid them just like I try to avoid other adults. Obviously, motherhood is not for me.

I think if you are in a public place especially a restaurant and your child is screaming or having a meltdown, or whatever, you should take them out. I rarely keep my kids in a place if they are screaming, its not fair to other people. There are exceptions, like the time I was at the doctors office with my older daughter, I took my younger daughter out into the hallway and let her "express" herself where there was not one around. In that case I didnt have a choice. I worry about being on the airplane and my autie flipping out. Im hoping to keep my kids occupied and calm when we move.
I really hate it when people walk around stores with a little baby screaming in the stroller and they just ignore it and walk around talking on their cell phone or something. If a baby is crying it needs something, they cant talk they cry....I think to ignore a tiny baby is cruel. I would always pick up my babies if they cried.....when my kids were tiny babies I usually "wore" them in a sling where they were more happy than stuffed in a stroller.

I'm not that fond of babies, and don't wish to have any of my own.

Older children are ok if they're past the stage of screaming and shredding my nervous system.

Babies should have a button sound on/off.
How long they stink like hot milk with poo?

My professors are going to catch hell if they pull s**t like that again. I go to learn about science and such, not learn about people's families.

Thats why women should breast feed....its that nasty formula that makes them spit up and have smelly poos!

I hated myself as a child and couldn't wait to grow up.

Yes.

As a mother and as someone who went through horrible abuse of all kinds as a child, when I see and hear people having sick thoughts like that, it raises a big red flag for me. Sometimes it doesn't take much to go from thinking about it to doing it.

I will not post in this thread again, so carry on with the baby b!tching.

The baby was staring me down. I made up my mind when I was four that I never wanted to have children let alone get married and I haven't changed it since. When I was younger and didn't know about the process of sex, I used to have panic attacks that I might get pregnant when I grew up. My mum told me that if a women dosen't want kids she simply does not have them. I thought pregnency was phycosematic for years until I learned about sex. I saw two dogs mating and figured humans it it that way too and I definatly never wanted to have sex. Yuck! I'm getting a hystorectomy so pregnency can never become a reality for me. Tied tubes isn't 100% efective.

Last edited by PunkyKat on 04 Jun 2010, 2:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have a lot of empathy for babies who can't help crying and for their parents for having to deal with it all day, every day, and maybe even being a little embarassed at the disruption (at least I would feel embarassed). Lots of times babies and small children can't stay still and start crying or screaming at church. Eventually, their parents take them outside to calm them down but sometimes there's a LOT of crying before it comes to that point. I just keep praying until it's done. If it's too close to me or too high of a pitch for me to bear, I put my fingers in my ears and keep praying until it's done. I'm very understanding about that sort of thing.

The situation I experienced was very different. That baby would probably have stayed quiet all through the meal but its parents were intentionally torturing the poor thing because they thought it was funny when it shrieked. That was bordering on child abuse as well as being absolutely impossible to sit and eat dinner while it was right next to me. I am still completely baffled as to why those parents would have wanted to torture their baby over and over to make it scream. Doesn't it scream enough all on its own? Why make a baby scream more? Why cause it frustration, anger, and anxiety for your own amusement? And they called me selfish?

hi sparrow.

yeah. I have experienced things like your story several times.
It is really quite incredible that people have zero respect for others & allow THEIR offspring that they CHOSE to have to intrude the space of others.
Even if the baby doesn't act up, I have heard LOUD baby talk, or discussions about the baby by the couple - have they no boundaries?

The public screaming and gurgling in movies, restaurants etc is unreal.
And as you said, they act as if YOU are the jerk for being bothered.
They almost act entitled to disregard others because they are carting a baby around.

They don't understand that the baby is not as cute to others as it is to them.
They are either oblivious or downright inconsiderate I am not sure.

I think it's really healthy for people who don't like children to speak up because I think some parents really do have no idea that others might find their child offensive. I think there are some parents (definitely not all) who honestly believe that everyone loves their children.

I think that can be a dangerous worldview because there are some pretty nasty child predators out there and it's better to realize that not everyone loves your kid so you ought to keep a good eye on them and what they're doing. The people next door were letting their kids run around naked in the front yard until I went over and told the dad that there's a registered sex offender living downstairs from me in my apartment building and his crimes were against children.

The kids stay out of the picture topic

It is not easy to live in a city and avoid children. I personaly enjoy most kids, I do not know why. So their cries do not annoy me; I just see it as background noise. It is the adults that piss me off, truly, and I avoid them as much as possible. I suppose many of the posters here feel the same way I do, except that it is children they despise.

Sparrow, how can those who dislike children avoid dealing with them?

1. Never go to any restaurant with food sold by a clown or packaged meals with toys included. If you like the toys, go in and get them and leave or go through the drive-through. (They will sell you the toy without the meal if you just want the toy and don't like the food, by the way.) Also, never go to any restaurant with "Family" in its name.

2. Never go to a public park during daylight hours. If you just like hiking around in the trees, you can go while school is in session because mainly only pre-schoolers will be there with their moms and they tend to stay in the playground area (or around the duck pond if there is one.) If you like to play on the swings, only go at night (provided the park is in a safe enough neighborhood to do so.)

3. Do not go to a general clinic for your health care. Shop around for a doctor who treats adults to minimize children in the waiting room.

4. Do not take public transportation, especially at times when school is just letting out. If you get on a city bus between 2 and 4 pm, there's a strong chance that you will be mobbed by hyperactive, screaming children letting off the steam of a day spent sitting in school.

5. Do not live in the suburbs. Most people in the suburbs have children. If you're willing to live in a slightly disreputable neighborhood, there will be fewer children there because parents have strong incentive to find a safer place to live and those who can't move may keep their children indoors more often.

6. Choose vacations carefully. If you're old enough, try Elderhostel vacations as no one under 50 will be there. Some cruise lines have adult-only cruises and, oddly enough, Disney cruises are a great place to avoid children because they have lots of designated no-children spaces and lots of activities to entertain the children while their parents go luxuriate in the spa, take some sun by the adults-only pool, dine in the adults-only restaurant, etc. It is strangely easier to avoid children on a Disney cruise than almost anyplace on the planet short of a pub.

7. When possible, shop at 24-hour places or places that are open late right before they close. Failing that, order what you can online.

Following the above rules, I rarely see children except in the distance or playing in their yard as I drive past.

Generally speaking, the only time I have to "put on my patient hat" because children are around is at church and I am glad to see parents raising their children in the faith (especially since we are a minority faith and could stand to grow) so it's much easier to put up with the children there because of how much it meshes with my spiritual beliefs. Our faith doesn't believe in sequestering children in day care during Liturgy because we feel that the children will learn the faith best by living it as everyone else does (although we do have sunday school after Liturgy for supplemental teaching) and those children NEED to be in Liturgy with the grown-ups, "absorbing" the adult expression of faith from the very beginning.

Someone who can't even handle being around children in a worship service needs to either be an atheist or agnostic or carefully choose their faith both as an expression of their beliefs but also as a faith (or an individual church/temple/coven/mosque/etc. within that faith) that chooses to sequester children from the adult worship service until they reach a certain age.