What crap did your parents try and feed you growing up.

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I was fortunate to be raised by the parents I have. They are amongst the VERY few I genuinely respect.

They never "blew smoke up my ass." I was always treated as if I was just as intelligent as them. I was encouraged, not forced, to be independent. They have always respected my actions and opinions as justifiable, especially concerning issues considered sensitive and important by most parents and their children id est; deciding not to go to college(at an early age), having a very serious relationship at 15 with a 18 year old, starting a business and failing at 20 years old, moving out and purchasing a home with someone I only knew for 4 months at 21, et cetera. I was encouraged to do all of these things, since it was what I wanted to do.

I remember when my older brother and I had brought copious amounts of drama to the house through our association with troublesome friends, involving the police. Our dad confronted us the day after a specific event, and didn't yell, punish, or belittle us in any way. We were asked if this was the kind of life we wanted, and if we actually enjoyed going through all of this. We were told we needed to figure out on our own how we should handle the situation. After that, my brother and I had determined what to do, and the drama stopped.

No matter how stupid some of things I did were, when I was younger, I was never chastised. The world was never sugar-coated to me. The phrase I was always told was, "You have a brain, USE IT." I did my own laundry at 12, made my own food and had my first job at 14, and bought my first car when I was 15. I willfully carried on the family-taught tradition on how to be self-sufficient through skills such as, general construction, electronics, and automotive/small engine repair and rebuilding. I was never forced to think or act a certain way, especially when it came to anything religious or sexual. My religious views, even as extreme as they were then, were never questioned. When I think back to those times, I believe I was treated this way because I was truly understood by my parents. As I have grown, I have been told more personal stories by them, and have observed the correlations between their youth and mine.

My brother and I recently made the decision to quit our well-paying jobs(My dad, brother, and myself had the same employer) to pursue better things; and this was just after my dad just got re-hired after being part of a layoff. For myself, I decided to sell my things, drop everything, and travel overseas for a while. After that, I have no clue, and don't care. What did they have to say about it? We were wholeheartedly supported up to our last day, in which we all celebrated with co-workers after work. They always let it be known that I am always welcome back home if I need to, which in my stubbornness, would reluctantly do.

I was never told any of the cliched "words of wisdom" mentioned in this thread, and for that, I am very grateful.

"Don't let them get to you." My parents told me this whenever somebody said something insulting or negative to me, but they'd always get mad if it actually did bother me. It's not that easy when 9 out of 10 people you talk to insult you either.

maybe its been said already but:

"theres someone out there for everyone"

bull-frickken-shite!

There is NOTHING and NOBODY out there for me, except God, but He is above the status of "girlfriend" or "wife"

At least God is there for you. He probably abandoned me just like my real father.

Last edited by Erisad on 23 Aug 2010, 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nope, its not an either/or, IR - its both. They're being supportive because care for you and because they don't pay enough attention to professional work to know the difference.

You, OTOH, know what you're aspiring to and will frequently feel you've missed the mark if it doesn't measure up to what your idols are doing. I know plenty of professionals who are their own worst critics (I certainly am like that).

One particular pro I know is so good, I'd think she was just being falsely modest, but I've known her for years and I've seen her cause herself anxiety attacks to the point of becoming physically sick when she felt she'd done a piece that wasn't good enough. This over a bit of work that was better than anything I've ever been capable of. If my work was that good, I'm afraid it would just make me arrogant, and she's giving herself a stomach ache worrying that its sub par.

Point being don't let yourself get discouraged just because you see room for improvement in your own work. That's the very thing that drives an artist to get better, to develop more efficient methods and styles of expression that work for them. But keep in mind also that the standards you (or obnoxious strangers on the Internet) set for yourself are completely arbitrary - Picasso's work in no way resembles Warhol's any more than Frank Miller's comic art resembles Todd Mcfarlane's and Jackson Pollack created an entire genre of his very own - none of these artists is necessarily better than any other, its that very diversity that makes art interesting.

I agree with Willard about artists often being their own worst critics, but I wanted to go a bit further in emphasizing that strangers on the internet are far from objective, especially when it comes to something as subjective as judging art. A good chunk of those people wouldn't know good art from schlock and are further invested in tearing down the work of others for any of a variety of reasons, don't take their word on whether your work is "good" or not. If you're serious about it, have someone who's actually involved in art such as a gallery owner or buy take a look at your portfolio, it might cost you a few dollars depending on who you go with, but having an expert's opinion on your work would be completely worth it.

Sorry for breaking topic, but i feel it necessary to give a little genuine encouragement...

God is the Father to the fatherless. You may not always feel His presence, but He will NEVER give up on you. The old saying "God will never give you more than you can handle" is true, but fails to account for the burdens placed on you by other people.

Just remember that the trials and tests of this world are temporary. God has a gift for each of us, all He asks is that we accept it

Your human father is just that; human. He cannot see the bigger picture, God will not abandon you.

God can't abandon you, because that 'Heavenly Father' icon is just that - an image - a representation of something that never existed - a myth.

The universe is a living sentient being constantly in the process of creation - you are not something separate from your creator - you are part and parcel OF that creator - you ARE that creator, and as such you are living in a world of your own thoughts' creation. Don't like it? Learn to think differently.

Thechadmaster- Thanks but I don't think it's true. My grandfather was a preacher, he died before I was born so I was left with his widow, and my mother a preacher's daughter who have been shoving their beliefs down my throat for as long as I lived. As of now, I believe in a creator but I know that he doesn't give a s**t about any of us. He's just watching us for his own amusement, like a cat who trapped a mouse. D:

Some of you seem like you have neurotic religious parents/backgrounds by the sounds of some of these.

Thank god my sister and I were encouraged to choose our own "religion". I think forcing religious views onto children is handicapping them.

However - Parents did take books of astrology off me for some reason and I don't know why. There is nothing wrong with learning about the positions of the planets and how energy/etc affects the sapce around it.

'In america even complete moron can become president' as shown by a ceccent POTUS :p

So that isn't bull XD

Don't you have chibitalia :p

"A child needs a father."

No. Absolutely not. I mean, it's nice if you have two parents; but it depends on who they are--and the ones I had were quite unacceptable.

Years later, my mom agrees--but when she married them, she didn't know enough to see they were sociopathic. We all survived, though. My family's pretty tough like that.

Also, "You should be a writer." Wow, Mom... there are so many good writers who never sell a story; how do you expect me to break into the market? And somehow, with ADHD and all, to try to actually discipline myself well enough to sit down and write, when a ninety-page mini-book takes me six years to write? Just 'cause I have the grammar and spelling down doesn't mean I'm going to write the next great American novel.

Lately, she's been giving me, "Well, maybe you aren't cut out to be an engineer..." when I complain about something being difficult. I think she's finally got it into her head that I have a disability that causes real problems, rather than just being an "immature, overdramatic, rebellious, sensitive child". I just hope she comes out at seeing it realistically, instead of flipping to the equally unrealistic "disabled means you can't do anything" perspective.

Mum took me church and dad took me to football. Mum and I went to church every Sunday, and Dad and I went to football every Saturday.

I learnt from them to be a god fearing centre forward... probably more than anything else.

doh, was taking the title a bit more literally than meant, lol... I was gonna say "my mom never tried to feed me anything I don't like, but my aunt would always slap tunafish and mac n cheese in front of me and make me finish the entire plate".

Now that I KNOW what you are talking about, lol, I would have to say the most annoying thing I ever heard was that "you aren't reaching your full potential". I was doing everything I could with what I had to work with, and it still irks me from time to time, because I KNOW I could do a lot better-she was absolutely correct in that aspect.... but I needed someone to show me HOW to do it, or help out in a way I could understand.

As far as disgusting food goes i don't think i've ever had much. Except for fish pie made with chicken soup . The worst i've ever cooked (friends used to say I just assembled food groups on a plate) was leafy greens and cod soup. It was grim but had no other money at the time.

As for bad phrases the one that used t annoy me was "it's your money you can spend it on what you like" ofetn as a reply to me asking if mum liked a t-shirt i was showing her. She would never say no abut if she didn't like it she would hide it a few weeks later.

Mum wasn't bad and my parents have always supported me their favourite phrase is "we don't mind what you do as long as you are happy" . I think they truly believe this and it makes me feel good.