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Wondering what women with autism think of this.

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hyperlexian
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15 Sep 2010, 12:51 pm

MotherKnowsBest wrote:
As an aside, what was the purpose of posting this thread in this forum? It seems to me that the is no purpose other than being an attempt to bring more people into an existing argument in another forum. Bad form really.

yes, i tried to say this 3 times, but each time it came out wrong so i deleted it. thank you for expressing that so clearly.
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
And you would be correct. I am currently living in Sweden. Every divorced parent I know here is in the same situation. They have the children for a week and then their ex has the children for a week. Men even get to take 50% of the 'maternity' leave.

canada still has a long way to go with this. we have improved, but we still have a lot of issues.

we divide the benefits for parents into 2 types. Maternity Benefits (15 weeks) are for the mother's recovery. Parental Benefits (35 weeks) are to care for a newly born or newly adopted child of any age, and can be shared by either parent in any combination as long as they are used within one year.

one interesting situation i encountered was seeing a surrogate mother take the 15 weeks Maternity Benefits, and the two gay male adoptive parents shared the 35 weeks Parental Benefits to care for the child. i love progress! though i would like to see more than 2 people allowed to share the Parental Benefits as sometimes more than 2 people are sharing the parenting. but it's a start!


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menintights
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15 Sep 2010, 1:52 pm

MotherKnowsBest wrote:
And you would be correct. I am currently living in Sweden. Every divorced parent I know here is in the same situation. They have the children for a week and then their ex has the children for a week. Men even get to take 50% of the 'maternity' leave.


I wonder how that would affect the kids, though? If the two parents live far away from each other, the back-and-forth trips must be a pain in the neck. Especially if they get to stay at one place for only one week.



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16 Sep 2010, 6:01 pm

Meadow wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
bee33 wrote:
I'm wondering if a lot of this has to do with autistic people not always realizing when they're crossing the line and being insulting? I know that's happened to me with other issues on other forums. I thought I was just stating a fact, when I was actually inadvertently pissing all over someone.


I'm not in a particularly generous mood tonight.

And how many of these "women-bashing" threads have we had here recently on WP? How do these threads usually turn out? Anyone who's been here for any length of time should have a general sense of what's likely to start a flame war. Claiming "autistic ignorance" doesn't cut it, especially when you consider the, "REAL austistics shouldn't criticize me," line. That smacks of dishonesty. I don't give people a free pass for being rude or dishonest just because they're autistic.

Lastly, when people keep posting these women-bashing threads, just how much forbearance are we expected to show? I feel like I'm sitting at a bar, minding my own business while trying to have a nice drink, and every twenty minutes an angry autistic boy comes up to me and starts pitching a tantrum about how evil I am. Seesh.

--XFG


I could be wrong but I think Bee33 was being genuine. Women bashing? I didn't notice, but I don't read every thread and many like these I completely avoid. However, I do think women are capable enough in most instances to stand up for themselves. That part about the angry autistic boy pitching a tantrum about how evil you are, seems a little fetched.


Take a glance at the "Love and Dating" forum sometimes. And we get a "Women suck cuz they won't gimme no sex!" thread at least once a month.

Quote:
I agree with you. But though I recognize these posts and threads as offensive and insulting, I don't find myself being personally offended by them, because I see them as coming from guys who are lonely, upset, and frustrated by their inability to connect with a woman (some of the posts anyway; some are just posted to start trouble). I'm a woman. btw


I applaud your tolerance; however, it's not even the "sexism" aspect of it that I find annoying, it's the overwhelming lack of critical thinking skills.

Crying, whining, blubbering and a general inability to think with anything other than genitalia tends to get on my nerves from men and/or women. Being trapped in a world of sexuals and NTs wears me down.

--XFG



MotherKnowsBest
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16 Sep 2010, 6:27 pm

menintights wrote:
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
And you would be correct. I am currently living in Sweden. Every divorced parent I know here is in the same situation. They have the children for a week and then their ex has the children for a week. Men even get to take 50% of the 'maternity' leave.


I wonder how that would affect the kids, though? If the two parents live far away from each other, the back-and-forth trips must be a pain in the neck. Especially if they get to stay at one place for only one week.


People don't seem to be as mobile here as in my home country. People seem to stay in the communities they grew up in. Everyone I've met so far lives within shouting distance of their relatives. It also seems that when couples get divorced they stay within the same area, particularly if they have children. I don't know any children who don't live very close to both their divorced parents. I'm sure there must be some but I have no direct knowledge so don't know how they get around things.

Also, Sweden regularly tops the polls as the best country for children to grow up in, so I guess they must be doing something right.



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16 Sep 2010, 6:31 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
As an aside, what was the purpose of posting this thread in this forum? It seems to me that the is no purpose other than being an attempt to bring more people into an existing argument in another forum. Bad form really.

yes, i tried to say this 3 times, but each time it came out wrong so i deleted it. thank you for expressing that so clearly.
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
And you would be correct. I am currently living in Sweden. Every divorced parent I know here is in the same situation. They have the children for a week and then their ex has the children for a week. Men even get to take 50% of the 'maternity' leave.

canada still has a long way to go with this. we have improved, but we still have a lot of issues.

we divide the benefits for parents into 2 types. Maternity Benefits (15 weeks) are for the mother's recovery. Parental Benefits (35 weeks) are to care for a newly born or newly adopted child of any age, and can be shared by either parent in any combination as long as they are used within one year.

one interesting situation i encountered was seeing a surrogate mother take the 15 weeks Maternity Benefits, and the two gay male adoptive parents shared the 35 weeks Parental Benefits to care for the child. i love progress! though i would like to see more than 2 people allowed to share the Parental Benefits as sometimes more than 2 people are sharing the parenting. but it's a start!


Here parents get a full year parental leave. There are a certain number of weeks that have to be taken by each and the rest they can split as they wish. Also they get paid time off if their child is sick and needs care or has to be taken to a doctor, right up until their child is 16 (or 21 if the child is autistic).



hyperlexian
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16 Sep 2010, 6:34 pm

MotherKnowsBest wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
As an aside, what was the purpose of posting this thread in this forum? It seems to me that the is no purpose other than being an attempt to bring more people into an existing argument in another forum. Bad form really.

yes, i tried to say this 3 times, but each time it came out wrong so i deleted it. thank you for expressing that so clearly.
MotherKnowsBest wrote:
And you would be correct. I am currently living in Sweden. Every divorced parent I know here is in the same situation. They have the children for a week and then their ex has the children for a week. Men even get to take 50% of the 'maternity' leave.

canada still has a long way to go with this. we have improved, but we still have a lot of issues.

we divide the benefits for parents into 2 types. Maternity Benefits (15 weeks) are for the mother's recovery. Parental Benefits (35 weeks) are to care for a newly born or newly adopted child of any age, and can be shared by either parent in any combination as long as they are used within one year.

one interesting situation i encountered was seeing a surrogate mother take the 15 weeks Maternity Benefits, and the two gay male adoptive parents shared the 35 weeks Parental Benefits to care for the child. i love progress! though i would like to see more than 2 people allowed to share the Parental Benefits as sometimes more than 2 people are sharing the parenting. but it's a start!


Here parents get a full year parental leave. There are a certain number of weeks that have to be taken by each and the rest they can split as they wish. Also they get paid time off if their child is sick and needs care or has to be taken to a doctor, right up until their child is 16 (or 21 if the child is autistic).
damn that sounds like a good system!


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