"Stimming"--good or bad?

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Hmmm......hard to say because most of my "stimming" is unconscious, so I'm not sure why I do it -- well, I am now, as a likely Aspie. But if it makes a child feel better to do it, what's it hurting for him to stop...especially in his own home. I think his family just think it's odd and it makes them uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with the child.

Up until my 30s, I tore up paper into bits...now I just fold it. I've always rocked, and still do frequently. I twiddle my thumbs. I shake my leg or my foot. I tap my fingers, sometimes to the song that's stuck in my head. I doodle -- especially in filling in spaces in the circles made in the block letters in the newspaper, making smiley faces and such, and I copy the headlines by writing them in the margins. I quit biting my nails years ago, but I replaced it with biting AROUND my nails and cuticles, many times making them bleed.

Like I said, I don't do these with any conscious relaxation needs. Most of the time, I'm in the middle of it before I realize I'm doing it. I also suffer from Panic Disorder, so if it's relaxing me, it's not doing a very good job.

I don't think its bad, but i think it can annoy people.

When i was younger I had a leather sheepskin that i used to rub in the palm of my hand which was the only way i was able to get to sleep. It got to the point that I was unable to go away for a night without taking it or i wouldnt sleep at all.
this was a problem so someone made a decision that I should learn to live without... eventually leading me to self-injury. 13 years later and someone puts me onto WP and suddenly i recognise all the stimming behaviours for what they were / are and I can function much better.

Professionally, I've managed to find socially acceptable stimming (to a degree anyway). twirling a pen around my fingers. tapping / rubbing my fingers against each other. pacing (especially when on the phone. damn these mobile phones). just sitting and watching me at work for half an hour you'd see fairly constant stimming actions (but nothing really 'inappropriate' for an eccentric techie).

just lately i've had the idea of trying to go back to some older stimming habits instead of self-injury and as soon as i picked up my old blanket and started to rub it in the palm of my hand.. i just felt so relaxed and calm.. it wont be acceptable except when I'm at home alone but still..

I wouldnt stop anyone stimming unless it was self-injurious or the action was distressing them more.

My family stopped me from head banging (obviously), but didn't seem to mind me rhythmically thumping my back against the back of the sofa while sitting, or kneeling on a kitchen chair and making it rock for hours, or rocking myself to sleep.

The thing that drove them and my teachers nuts, bizarrely, was this thing that I did with my arms where I tensed them in front of my face and move my fingers up and down in a sort of sequence. It seemed to happen when I was excited or thinking/imagining something. It didn't harm anyone else and I don't know why particularly teachers at the school got so upset about it. The thing is, because it went hand in hand with happy emotions or creative thought, the happy moment or train of thought was completely shattered when I was suddenly scolded for the accompanying action.

I couldn't stop my arms tensing or fingers moving, so I learned to do it under the desk. Eventually I managed to suppress it so that it just meant my arms went stiff at my sides. I told my boyfriend about this about 3 years ago, and he said I didn't have to suppress it around him, and he asked me for a demonstration, which I did. He said it looked like some kind of martial arts/Zen focusing technique and if it helped me think then go right ahead.

Though it may annoy or freak out others, my stims are useful in that they provide needed input, comfort and redirection and aid in retention of information as well. Some of my stims allow me to perceive the (obvious to NTs) demarcation between my body and whatever is on/against/around it, which allows me to be more productive by focusing my attention on what is important as opposed to figuring out where my body is.