Having Children

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Not me. I'm fed up with living as an abnormal person. I want a NT husband and a NT child, because I want the child to have friends at school and be happy. If I had an Aspie child I will be humiliated in public when the child gets too big to have temper tantrums in the street but will do it because it will never grow out of them. If I have meltdowns, the child will too, and it will be like I'm paying the big price for what I did to my poor mum (and what I'm still doing). I grew out of embarrassing myself in the street around the age of 14, and I humiliated a lot of people, and so will my child.

Often after me having an uncontrolable meltdown and has upset my mum, I hear her on the phone crying to her sister that no-one else in the family has to put up with any of this, and that they're all lucky, and that they has a normal lives with normal people surrounding them in their homes. Yes, my mum is very envious of her brother and her 2 sisters for all having NT children, and although they will worry about drink, sex and gangs, at least it is normal. Well, it's more normal than having tantrums full of rage. And anyway, if I had a NT child, it might become serious and shy enough to make descent friends who have a hobby by the time they're teenagers, instead of wanting to hang out and about after dark with a gang of mates, drinking alcohol. Especially if it's brought up by me (who's socially useless) and my NT husband (who will more than likely be serious and quiet, to want to go out with me).

I'm 27, have Aspergers, and have two kids (a boy-4 and and a girl-2). I didn't know what I had yet (though I knew I had to have something) but my kids are the best. My son shows some aspie signs (not social but more of the sensory things) as does my daughter (more the social side) but neitehr of them seem to be full-fledged aspies. Either way, they are great children and I love them so much. It can be hard to be a parent and take care of others when you sometiems have trouble taking care of yourself, but its worth it. My husband (who's NT) is a big help.

Don't talk like that about my parents. I love my parents, and if it weren't for my mum I wouldn't have been statemented at school and got all the support I needed. If you must know, my mum and her brother and sisters were brought up in a very bad childhood, with an alcoholic dad who used to smash the house up when he was drunk, and frightened their mum. They were a very poor family aswell. And now I think my mum is freaked out from that sort of behaviour, and she just hates tempers.

But personally I know that there are so many NTs in this world (more than NLs), and you just ain't got time to not be normal, because of the fear of being socially unnaccepted. This is my only life I will ever get, and I don't want to go through it living abnormally, so that's why I follow the NT path. It does make me happier in a way. If I was intelligent, I would be happy to have AS, but because I'm not intelligent, intellectually and socially, I just have to go through life trying to ''get on with it'', otherwise I would either be hiding away in my cupboard for the rest of my life, or screaming and crying about it for the rest of my life, or six feet under. And I'm not doing neither of them - so I'm saying to myself, ''welcome to the NT world''. The NT world is great - except being cool and standard in public all the time gets a little boring.

You know the saying, ''if you can't beat them, join them''. I know I will never win against NTs, so I've decided to join them.

You must understand that badmouthing other people's family is unnacceptable. My mum suffers from high anxiety, and she just gets upset when I'm upset because she wants her daughter to be happy. It's just her way of worrying about me. And I don't expect her to be really sweet and nice to me when I'm having a meltdown.

And anyway - my social worker I had when I was a child had a husband who was diagnosed with AS, and they have 5 kids, who are all NTs, she said none of them has any AS traits at all. But my parents, who are both NTs, had an Aspie child. Is it ironic, or just luck?


But I still don't want any kids because of the chances. It does make a world of difference when your child is Autistic and nobody else around you has a child on the spectrum. I don't really mean AS, because they can go through mainstream school and be normal, but a child with severe Autism who is locked in his own world forever and can't communicate even to his own parents is very different, and it's so sad (as in upsetting sad). When I was at school, one of my friends had a younger brother who was severely Autistic, and my other friend had a younger brother who was NT. There was a huge difference when I went to their houses.

Knowing my luck, if I had a child, it would most probably be severely Autistic, and I just would never, ever be able to cope with that. It's hard enough when a NT toddler is playing up, let alone an Autistic child who plays up pratically his whole life.
But I still wouldn't want a Aspie child either. I want a child who knows the social cues.

But if I had to choose between an Autistic child, and a child just with AS, I would pick the AS child. But if I had to choose between a NT child and an Aspie child, I'll pick the NT child.
I'm not badmouthing nobody - the child I might not have doesn't exist. That's why it's best if I didn't have any children - although it's my nature to grow to love any relative, whatever they got. My nan has Alzheimer's now, and I still love her to bits.....