Do you feel like you're not even a part of your own family?

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All the time. I was adopted but I feel that even if I was a biological child that I would feel the same way. My pets felt more like family than the human members of it.

In my case, it's like my mother didn't get the first kid right, she has her do-over son and she's happy. The more I tried to reach out, the more unstable they told me I was

Yes, because all 12 of my cousins (and my brother) are all NT, and all my adult cousins are all into clubbing and parties and spending week-ends in pubs and bars - except me. This is where I feel I cannot attend family get-togethers any more, because all my cousins will be talking about is their parties, and I'll be sitting there feeling completely excluded.

Me and my family have communication issues. My parents and sister are very work-oriented and they don't seem to realize that I don't want that lifestyle

With my immediate family (daughter, husband, parents and cousin who's like a brother), I feel kind of like the central adult figure. Everything seems to depend on me, my decisions, my ideas, etc. My parents are older now and rely on me quite a bit for guidance with money matters, what to pack for our holiday, what activities we're getting up to at the weekend, etc. But, with the extended family, I've never really felt part of it. I'm a real outsider and I think I appear to be quite mysterious, to most of them. I'm the youngest cousin on my dad's side and the second youngest on my Mum's side (my brother/cousin is the only one who is younger), the rest are much older, so maybe that's part of it.

i don't feel like i am part of my family much at all.....they sort of try to include me, but more as a way for them to be able to give themselves a pat on their own backs..like, good for us we talked/invited her, blah blah.....when my parents are dead, i will most likely be estranged from my brother and niece

they don't really believe or listen to me when i have told them about asperger's or autism spectrum disorders, despite that having been suggested to them when i was kid (not pursued) and how it now describes me perfectly, how it makes sense of my difficulties in life since childhood, discovering it was a huge A-HA! sort of thing ....not that i say much around them, let alone about asperger's .....but when i have brought it up, i just get talked down to and told i don't have that or even just not acknowledged that i am speaking at all.....it is kind of annoying being told by people who don't seem to know much about you that you don't have the one thing that makes sense out of your life, when they don't even know a thing about autistic spectrum disorders .....or in my brother's case, who knows everything, would say he has a friend who has that and i can't just go around saying i have asperger's etc.....well, i can....and i do have asperger's and have felt the most kindred-y feelings speaking to others who do as well, not feeling like an outsider for once in my life


they treat me like i am a big dummy

.....it would be nice if they would be more understanding.....but it's not likely.....i don't feel like i can publicly say my opinion about my asperger's without them chiming in, so i mostly keep it to myself

I've always been the black sheep of the family. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my parents about things that are important to me, but when I've tried they just tell me "it's in me head" and "in the past."

All the time esspecially at family gatherings or reunions I always feel like I don't belong even though I am family.

I am 17 and I am a middle child of 4...I am living under the same roof with my family, I am the odd ball in the house, I have gone through things that normal teens don't go through...no body really talks 2 me unless need be, I am ignored when I talk, they 4 get about me when they go out some where, I'm yelled at 4 the smallest things, I'm picked on by my big sister, and my lil brother...my older brother I never see, but I never seem 2 really matter 2 anyone in the house...its as if I'm a stranger who just moved in...I used 2 do a lot of bad things when I was younger such as sneaking out and partying till 5am stuff like that, when I was bad it seems like everyone talked 2 me more but now since I'm good (been doing good 4 the past year and half now) that no body is even paying any atention 2 me wats so ever...iv talked 2 them and confronted them but they turn it on me and tell me 2 stop the guilt trip, I think about running away and never coming back iv thought about what if I was never born?, everything! I have friends but I'm not that close 2 them 2 talk about wats going on at home...id would tell my father in virgina wats going on but he wouldn't be able 2 help the situation, I would just make matters worst...I have a boyfriend who iv been dating 4 a year now he is actually realizing that I am the less loved child in the house...he tells me all the time that they shouldn't be treating me this way and I should really tell them wat there doing 2 me and that there making me cry every night...but I'm starting not 2 care anymore, but I'm starting 2 realize that my emotions r starting 2 reflect on my relationship sometimes...
I don't need help...I need 2 move away from my mother and my siblings 4 good!

Happens to me. I get this feeling my parents I get along as well as the Yankees and Red Sox these days; to the point where I want to file an NCO against them. I hate how my mother is so overly prissy over things. It just bugs me.

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Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

i was ostracized by my family first, and my community second.

my family was pretty abusive and is not particularly close anyway now, but growing up my sister and brother were very tight, and my sister was very close to my dad, leaving me room only to relate to my savagely abusive mother, who i couldn't stand for obvious reasons.

today i've changed my name and dropped all contact with them. it's painful but it's not as painful as staying in touch.

i'm at a point where i've withdrawn so much and had so many social disappointments and so much social rejection i don't feel like i even know how to make friends. somehow though i usually manage to get one person in my life who "gets" me to some degree, and through that person i manage to stay connected to the rest of humanity, through their friends. at least until i got here to WP.

i loved being part of my ex-husband's family and miss them very much. they seemed to really like me. but, they only saw the NT mask i put on to be around them a few times a year, and never knew what it cost me to do it.

Admittedly my family do love me. But I have often faced double-standards, like being expected to act like a responsible adult at 14, but my older siblings/cousins still were allowed to be kids when they were 14. I spent most of my teenage years feeling confused of how I should be.

Also I have always been bothered by the fact that I'm the only Aspie in my family. Not just the only Aspie, but the only one with a condition too. My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, are all NTs. OK one cousin of mine has learning difficulties, but she always had more opportunities to have friends than I did, and she didn't keep having tantrums after she reached age 6, like I did. And another one of my cousins showed a lot of noticeable Aspie traits as a child but seemed to have grown out of them and magically became NT as an adult. And one of my aunts sometimes displays Aspie traits but it still doesn't seem to affect her whole life in the same way as it does me, and I only have mild AS myself. So basically I'm the only true Aspie in my family, and it gets me down a lot.

I too know what that kind of segregation feels like, Amik. I spend most of my hours at my computer, and my parents usually only call me for dinner. Granted, this could be their way of giving me space and independence, and I'm grateful for it. My family is a bit dysfunctional, so I avoid them when I can, even when I feel lonely. In fact, what really annoys me about my family is that they can become unnecessarily hostile towards me about certain things, from poorly-followed directions to major life issues that they haven't taught me to overcome personally.