What is it about me that pisses people off so much?
Overly dominant. At the cannabis club I attend, the crew have told me to STFU many times when I start to windup.
I have taken it on board and reigned myself in.
Demanding attention from others, then dissing them for not agreeing, is not a winning way with people
Try posting and/or speaking less and less every day. Eventually you will be more peaceful within yourself, and your need to verbalise will subside
I highly recommend this: http://www.dhamma.org/en/bycountry/na/
This is a crazy thread.
Punky, maybe you need to change your process. It is clear in your mind what you want, but a number of things are getting in the way. Some of those things are practical (like learning multiplication tables) and some of them are social. You react very strongly to social things. That's partly an aspie thing. I think you would be well served to self monitor how you react and how your reactions to social things help or hurt your progress. Sometimes it is in your BEST interest to do something contrary to what you want to do at the moment. Measure the consequences of your actions against how they help or hurt your progress towards your goals. Integrate your goal of being a vet into how you react to and think about your social interactions.
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When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.
I've noticed you (PunkyKat) sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong time without thinking about how hurtful it can be to others. A recent example that struck me was where a member started a thread in this forum saying he had been diagnosed with a brain tumour and needed radiotherapy / chemotherapy. Everyone was supportive except you who just complained that he had started the thread in the wrong forum! While you were technically correct, your response was not appropriate. If you make the same sorts of ill thought out remarks in day to day life it will likely cause you lots of problems with other people. Comments have consequences.
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I've left WP indefinitely.
dossa
Veteran
Joined: 24 Aug 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,590
Location: The right side of my couch...
I just looked at that link, OP. I am taken aback. I cannot believe that people behave that way. I do not care what they do or do not think about you... I run into people who get on my nerves and I would never think to go off on them like that. Unacceptable. There is nothing that justifies that sort of response. What the hell is wrong with people...
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"...don't ask me why it's just the nature of my groove..."
Since that site's called "catfight" maybe those posters are in catfight mode meaning it's more of an act than anything else.
Punkycat, I wouldn't take anything they say on a site with 'catfight' in the name too personally
That appears to be a fight forum. It apparently exists soley as a place for people to yell at each other and get into flame wars. If you don't want to be flamed, you shouldn't go to a forum whose only purpose is for people to flame. For your own peace of mind, you should stick to forums (or subforums in ponyland) where moderators will not allow such language. This forum doesn't look as though it's moderated at all and people are allowed and even encouraged to say cruel things. Not a healthy place to go.
Last edited by Janissy on 19 Jan 2011, 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
dossa
Veteran
Joined: 24 Aug 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,590
Location: The right side of my couch...
Since that site's called "catfight" maybe those posters are in catfight mode meaning it's more of an act than anything else.
Punkycat, I wouldn't take anything they say on a site with 'catfight' in the name too personally
Ohhhhhh.... I seee says the blind girl. Well that makes sense then. Next time I will have to look mopre closely instead of being distracted by the rotten words being thrown about.
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"...don't ask me why it's just the nature of my groove..."
Just to get off the topic for a moment. I have noticed since I joined this website two years ago that when the message is considered to be argumentative by the members it gets a better response than those that just ask simple questions.
Truly amazing that messages that get people angry and upset will get more attention than the ones that don't. I've actually written messages just asking for help to learn how to write them so I will get an answer. Maybe if I write something that I thought would create a problem I would get what I want.
I might be old but my understanding of people is still the same as about a child of 14. Now that I have said that I can ask this: Why are so many people offering the same solution which is not helping? If you see that the negative view point is not working why continue with it? I have gotten the impression that a couple of people are looking for PunkyKat to tell them "You are totally right. My attitude has been wrong for many years as been awful. From now on I will use you as a role model of proper behavior". Is that really what you want? It's almost as though their egos are at stake if their suggestions are not taken.
Very interesting. Totally amazing that the so many times the only way to get a good discussion together is get people angry. I don't know about you but I think there is something "nailed" up about that.
Thanks everyone it's been fun. irene
After being told I was "mean." I got the impression now she only wanted to hear what she wanted to hear and didn't want to hear any honest answers. These sort of things piss me off about people. Them going around asking a question and you answer it and they say you were mean or bullying them just because they didn't like your answer.
I didn't flame her or nothing. No one has in this thread. No one has bullied or been mean in this thread. The problem is some people can't take criticism even if they ask for it so they view it as bullying. Even if someone speaks the truth about something, someone else views it as bullying.
And I must point out the irony in this thread. Many members here always complain about NTs not wanting honest answers because they get upset when they hear what they didn't want to hear so they say we are rude. Well this thread, PK asks something and she gets an honest answer and we said what we meant and bam, she accuses us of being mean and now bullying and some members in this thread don't like our answers either. What's wrong with the picture?
You can't have it both ways nor can't win.
And my advice to PK is when I see someone treating me badly and I see them doing the same crap to someone else or to other people, I take their behavior less seriously because I know it's them not me and they do it to everyone. So I am able to get over it quicker and I get more immune to them.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
sartresue
Veteran
Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,313
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
Piss and boo(t)s topic
I had better get in here before this thread gets locked.
Ms. Kat, you do not piss me off. I have read and replied to a number of your threads. Some are um, er, different. You are an In-Your-face type. You burst out with an idea and opinion and then the fur(ry) flies. PPR is chock full of members who are obsessed about angels farting/dancing on the head of a pin, Obama's birth certificate (did he dig it out of a Cracker Jack Box?), the three dimensions and location of Paradise, if the conspiracy about Woody Allen wanting to take over the world along with Pinky and the Brain is true, and whether a fetus can dance/sing to hip/hop within the confines of the womb, and be featured on American Idol as a person with rights. You get the picture.
Some people take these ideas quite seriously, and get all riled up if someone calls them out on the absurdity of it all.
Not that I find Ms Kat's ideas/obsessions/interests absurd. I do not judge personalities either, as I do not know anyone personally here. (Meerkats are cute. I have seen them on Telus commercials.) But if you talk about one thing constantly, you are going to get those who disagree, and even tease you ad hominem (unfair, I know). Punky, you might want to learn how to rephrase some of the ideas you have into a philosophy that would be interesting to others, sort of like Cockney Rebel does, with her Kinks interest, or Tim_Tex, with his Simpsons/Family Guy/Futurama special interests.
The above people also talk about other stuff, and most of it I find interesting. I have special interests as well, but I also have the other stuff. Human beings are multidimensional, and they like to discuss other aspects of life.
You did not mention the outcome of you recent hospital stay. Speedy recovery.
Above all, learn to laugh at life, as it does not go on ad infinitum, but the journey does not have to be ad nauseum.
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Radiant Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind
Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory
NOT a believer of Mystic Woo-Woo
Agreed. For anyone who as AS to be in that kind of environment is just suicide. Take it from someone who was on a collegiate sketch comedy show where it was more about cast members ripping on other cast members than it was about being funny.
i read a few pages of that catfight thread, and its horrid. i myself would never post on a forum with people who talked about anyone like that. i couldnt associate with people who think that kind of commentary about another human being is remotely acceptable. and no, its not acceptable to promote death for another human being.
i will say there are times i personally have found your attitude to be aggressive and overly harsh. you come across with a "screw you i dont care what you think" attitude sometimes. you also tend to make some statements that are anti-social and anti-human, such as saying abortion is not as bad as animal testing, if you had a baby you think you would give yourself an abortion or kill the baby after it was born, and if anyone tried to cure you you would pop a cap in their ass (ironically promoting death for someone else like those on the catfight thread did to you).
these are REALLY strong impressions that you give people, negative impressions. i imagine that is what people are reacting off of.
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Neurotypically confused.
partner to: D - 40 yrs med dx classic autism
mother to 3 sons:
K - 6 yrs med/school dx classic autism
C - 8 yrs NT
N - 15 yrs school dx AS
I didn't flame her or nothing. No one has in this thread. No one has bullied or been mean in this thread. The problem is some people can't take criticism even if they ask for it so they view it as bullying. Even if someone speaks the truth about something, someone else views it as bullying.
And I must point out the irony in this thread. Many members here always complain about NTs not wanting honest answers because they get upset when they hear what they didn't want to hear so they say we are rude. Well this thread, PK asks something and she gets an honest answer and we said what we meant and bam, she accuses us of being mean and now bullying and some members in this thread don't like our answers either. What's wrong with the picture?
You can't have it both ways nor can't win. :roll:
And my advice to PK is when I see someone treating me badly and I see them doing the same crap to someone else or to other people, I take their behavior less seriously because I know it's them not me and they do it to everyone. So I am able to get over it quicker and I get more immune to them.
As someone who has argued with PK in the past, I concur.
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I don't post here anymore. If you want to talk to me, go to the WP Facebook group or my Last.fm account.
Please don't. It's a learning process. You asked for honest advice, you got it. You can't win people's respect by being inflexible, because it's the people that you're dealing with in the first place. So it's either you going off on your own and doing your own thing in your own realm where opinions don't matter, or you getting out into society and having to adjust to people as much as they have to adjust to you.
The user Digitalis on that forum summed it up very well. I think you mean well and I think that on WP, you'll get much more respect than on these other forums you keep posting on. I told you before in your earlier thread similar to this not to bother with these people - they will rarely say anything honestly without infusing it with judgement and implied meanings. I'm sure you're a much nicer person than at least 50% of people who post on that forum. And that's my honest opinion.
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Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).
Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
Well, here is my parting message. And I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.
I recently had an experience with a vet treating my now deceased cat. Her treatment undoubtedly extended his lifespan and allowed us to make his last days as free of suffering as possible. Throughout the ordeal, she remained calm, competent and professional. This inspired a sense of comfort and confidence that made it much easier to deal with this difficult situation. She is a very smart woman who obviously has a lot of compassion - for both animals as well as people.
As for you, frankly, I find the idea of you somehow becoming a vet... horrifying. It's horrifying because you are none of those things. You come across as unstable, dense, mean-spirited and whiny. The possibility of someone having the confidence to trust you with the treatment of animals is unimaginable to me. If you somehow, against all odds, managed to become a vet they should call you "Dr. NOOOOOOOO".
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I live!
Last edited by Ah_Q on 20 Jan 2011, 2:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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