What exactly is "mild" Aspergers?

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I think that traits are as they are, but happiness can often depend on the outside world and the stresses it presents. If the environment is one that suits the person they will do well, but if it is a bad environment for them, they can have a milder set of traits but do terribly.

Also, it depends on traits doing things like cancelling benefits of other traits out. For example, having ADHD coupled with intellectual ability may mean the person has difficulty reaching career success as they cannot focus properly.

Or, being very extroverted and social but with shocking empathy and bad social skills can be worse than being introverted and aloof with a fun hobby, even though the introverted person may technically have stronger AS traits. If they find a good niche where they can live, they are ok.

Also it can come down to luck- your intense interest in a topic coinciding with an up and coming industry.

I don't know exactly. I do know that there have been outcome studies where the people with the largest number of autistic traits did the best overall. Perhaps autistic traits give some advantage when all combined, while giving more disadvantages when you only get a few of them. Perhaps there's a sort of person who gets all the observable autistic traits as a result of something that also gives them better ability to cope with the nondisabled world, while those who only get some of the traits lack that advantage, whatever it is. Perhaps in order to be able to do all the things deemed autistic traits, you also have to have a certain level of capability (this is why some people with very severe issues get deemed PDDNOS, because they are literally not capable of the skills required to perform certain characteristic autistic behaviors). I don't know. The studies could also be wrong, or missing some important piece of data. But I've been told by several researchers that such studies exist. Since we don't know what autism is, at the core, then we can't know whether severity of autism presents an advantage or a disadvantage, and we can't even measure severity given that you have to know what you're measuring in order to know what severity is.

I've always wondered about the wisdom of measuring severity by what you're able to do.

I remember kfisherx describing herself somewhere as "as high-functioning as you get". And I remember thinking.. huh? Not that I like functioning levels. But even operating within the world where such terms make sense... it's like... how to describe this... argh. Okay. So... she has always struck me as someone who has to work incredibly hard to achieve what she achieves. If she were not absolutely bound and determined to do the best she can to put all her energy and then some into her various achievements, she would not look so "high functioning". I know people who find it much easier to do the things she does, than she does. And whether or not they have achieved as much as she has, I would think they'd be "higher functioning" than she is by virtue of doing much less work than she does, and yet doing better than she would if they were doing such little work.

Similarly, I'm someone who also throws everything I can into being able to do certain things that are not at all natural to me. (A friend called me "the least productive workaholic I've ever met", because I throw so much energy into the work I do, and yet all that energy still means I don't get very far except in one or two areas.) Such as writing. I'm not technically a language-based person, in fact I not only have language problems, I have problems with symbolic thought in general and any and all abstractions. (By which I mean, "cat" is an abstraction compared to my thinking.) I think the reason people like me are rare in the online autism community may not be because we're rare overall among autistic people (especially reading a book on autism showed me how typical many of my traits apparently are, which shocked me given how out of place I feel in the online communities), but because we rarely put in all the work required to be able to use words consistently. (Or we put in the same amount of work, but into totally different pursuits that may not make us seem "more normal" at all in various respects.) So despite the fact that I may superficially seem to write better than some people on this forum, I start from a place of no language and no symbol that many people here cannot even imagine because it's so foreign to the kind of thought that makes the use of language at least somewhat natural. (Even non-linguistic symbolic/abstract thought is closer to language than my thinking is.)

So I think you can't just measure these things by the results a person gets, you also have to look at what point they're starting from. It could be you get more results than someone, and yet you start out at a place of much less ability in that area than they have in their natural state. It's a weird phenomenon because you can't just say you're "better at this" and you can't just say you're "worse at this". But I find that a lot of people call themselves "extremely mild" because of the results they get, when actually there are plenty of people who have far fewer problems in that area than they naturally do. (In their "baseline" state, as opposed to their "with a lot of work" state.) I identify far more with my baseline than I do with the foreign cognitive territory I travel to in order to be able to write or read. (And make no mistake, my reading is far worse than my writing. Ever since I had expressive language at all, it's always been superficially better than my receptive language, which has been horrible. Reading this book I have about autism, I've found out that pattern is incredibly common in autistic people, despite it being seemingly underrepresented online.)

Hmm.

What's interesting to me about all that, is... see.

I have no job, no romantic relationships, and few friends (all of them autistic or otherwise disabled, meaning the friendships I do have don't resemble typical friendships and don't require the skills necessary to have a typical friendship, which totally elude me... I can't even keep track of more than one or two friends at a time, I forget anyone else exists! It takes a special kind of friend to put up with being totally forgotten by someone supposedly close to you.)

I also have severe self-care issues, to the point where almost everything is either done for me, or the person helps me "start it off". I have cognitive issues that mean that in my natural state, I cannot understand language, cannot even understand symbol or abstraction as simple as "cat", and all my thought is sensory rather than conceptual, a mode that even most autistic people on forums like this find confusing or impossible to imagine. I can't easily interpret my environment, and in new places things can visually go so wonky that I literally get seasick and vomit. I have a lot of safety issues because of this, including the fact that I don't naturally recognize the existence or nature of streets, cars, danger, etc. and can walk into the middle of the road if nobody is with me to stop me. I've ended up in situations where like... a pack of wild dogs had me cornered and were barking and acting quite aggressive towards me, and I didn't understand what was going on. I'm oblivious to a lot of dangers except when, like now, I'm able to think about them. But at the time, I'm oblivious because those thoughts do not come into my head. I have had all kinds of dangerous situations happen with other people, and while I could sense that the people involved were not people I liked, because they gave off all kinds of "creepy" vibes, I still didn't know that I was in actual danger. Including when as an adult a couple of people tried to pull the "I have a toy just like yours in the car, want to come see?" variety of kidnapping on me, and I didn't notice until afterwards what danger I was in (I strongly suspect they were the ones who were kidnapping and raping developmentally disabled women in the area at that time). I've literally let people into my apartment and not known the danger until my roommate screamed at me about what an idiot I was. Etc.

I know someone else. She has a job and a romantic relationship, still not a lot of friends. To some people, she passes as normal, although she's actually pretty unusual.

And she has practically all the other traits I just mentioned, as well as a mind that works nearly identically to mine. However, people consider her high functioning and me low functioning. Because of the superficial differences based on job and relationship and because her boyfriend helps her with all the other things whereas I get services from the state.

In any genuine classification system, she and I would be put in the same category. But in the superficial classification systems, people put us in different categories based on a tiny number of traits and ignore the sheer number of traits that are nearly identical.

Oh yeah and she's thin and pretty and I'm fat and ugly by traditional standards. We're pretty sure that plays into it too.

For me, mild moderate and severe labels are indications of how obvious one's traits are to the casual observer more so than how impaired an individual is. Between learning to cope with and mask my AS traits and keeping most people at arms length I'm generally able to pass as normal if maybe a bit eccentric at times. But by no means does this mean my impairment is less severe than another who's traits are more easily recognizable.

That is certainly true. One thing that I am acutely aware of is that my strengths are very inconsistent. I am very strong in some areas, and very weak in others. The combination makes me able to function in a way that approximates normal, but I am far from normal. I really do not know how to fully describe myself. My social skills are barely adequate, but only because I put a lot of effort into watching people and examining my own behavior. If I did not put the effort into this, my social skills would be dismal. Most people do not need to put nearly as much effort into learning social skills and they

Another area that I am really weak at is what is generally considered emotional maturity. I tend to make too much out of small matters, worry about unimportant things, and let trivial things bother me severely. It is only because I have worked so hard at this that I can function as a mature adult. If I didn't work so hard at this I would constantly be suicidally depressed.

On the other hand, I do have some great skills. By the usual measures, my verbal and mathematical abilities are outstanding. At the same time, however, my tendency to focus on the wrong things keep me from using my abilities properly. It is a bizarre combination.

I call myself mildly Aspie, because the combination of traits that I have, combined with the skills that I developed, make me capable of functioning in a somewhat normal fashion. I could also call myself a moderate Aspie, because I have some severe problems.

I feel that language is inadequate for the purpose. Ultimately, no single term really is correct, but I have no way to describe myself in less than a paragraph.

That was an excellent question!

I suppose that NTs adjust; they roll with the punches. I can't speak for anyone else, but as for ME, there is a problem with making adjustments. This is especially apparent in social settings. Other people can flit from one conversation to another, but I get lost. A good example is when I went to my cousin's wedding. People were laughing and chatting and going from table to table. At the table where I sat, there was happy conversation, but my attempts to join in felt awkward - even with my own family. My cell phone back then didn't have games and even if it did, I couldn't very well whip it out and start playing Spades!

So after we ate and I sat there a while, I went out into the hallway where it was quieter and there were no crowds to call friends back home. I wanted to have a good time with everybody, but something was in the way.

At another wedding (my godsister's), I sat with her family, my parents, and everything, but had that same thing of really going mute among all the conversation and music - lost in the crowd. People noticed and my father mentioned how quiet I was later on. I think at this point he realized that something was/is wrong. Usually he would have been critical of me, but he refrained uncharacteristically. My saving grace was the bride's uncle's REALLY WEIRD behavior. Otherwise, when I had had enough of sitting there looking like I went to the hotel's outer lobby and sat alone. I also walked outside to get some fresh air. At the time, I was worried about people thinking I was being anti-social. Now I don't feel guilty when I do stuff like this because I understand that it is essential for me to maintain some sort of mental balance - if that makes any sense.

Mind you, these things happened LONG before I knew what ASDs are.

Is this like a sensory issue?

And to think, I didn't want the games and other apps on my celly at first!

Surreal: That sounds familiar. To me, it doesn't sound odd to become mute or have to take a break from crowds. I hate talking if there are a bunch of people around because it is really hard to pay attention to what they are saying, or to compose thoughts with so much noise going around. My dad has always taught me to go to the restroom or just out of the room if it gets too overwhelming, so I only shut down when I'm not given the freedom to do that, like usually at a strange church, especially when I was a kid and they wouldn't let us go away from the group.

Last year, I was at a conference and stayed at the hotel for the evening session because I felt overwhelmed. I feel like my parents have always been understanding of me being "peopled out" as we call it, but they tried to insist I go this time, and I got very upset and probably cried for half the night after they left. I just couldn't handle even the thought of it and they didn't understand that.

I've always said: "I'm not antisocial. *You* can socialize all you want." So appearing anti-social has never bothered me, lol.

But for the past two years, I have been getting better at balancing it so now I don't get overwhelmed as easily because I know when I need to take breaks. However, that will be put to the test next week. I'm going on a mission trip with 70 other college kids for a week. We shall see if I end up going crazy by the end.

Sensory wise, My younger brother is NT in his interactions with people, but is very sensitive to smells, sounds, and lights. I don't feel like I have the same sensory issues as him, but I feel like you, that probably all the noises and visual overload of crowds is probably a sensory issue. Drawing is usually what calms me down but I can see how playing games on a phone would help too.

Thanks, Daina!

If I make it top the point of getting examined, may I use this as a means for comparison or an example of two undiagnosed people having similar experiences without having a name to give it?

Sure! If you do get examined, be sure to tell us the results.

That is definitely true. One of the reasons that I would be considered mild, is because my skills are useful. If my interests were in something less practical, I would probably be considered moderate, not mild.

Everyone that I've told, except my family and my one friend that knows me very well, actually has refused to believe that I do have AS...even with diagnosis. Without seeing my routines and day to day behavior, I just come off as very quiet but friendly. I try to be as nice as possible so people will like me. They do, but I've found its not enough for someone to want to be friends. At work I never get past the everyday casual exchanges and at school my classmates only see me as a tutor when they don't understand something. My point is that some may call me mild, but it sure doesn't feel mild to me.

I'm not even diagnosed and I hate the term "mild" Asperger's!

But if we use your definition of mild, then I need to contact HOUSTON because "WE" have a PROBLEM!

I do NOT think it's FANTASTIC to have Asperger's/ASD!

Yes, I agree. I would be considered very mild, and I hate it. It has really messed up my life.

My understanding of the terminology is that even "mild" implies some sort of dysfunction. If someone is happy and well adjusted, they would be something else, maybe "subclinical".

"You can be mild and appear to have very bad AS at times because of the stress level you are experiencing"

I completly agree! I have been mild in my twenties and am now moderate in a lot of areas, due to stress levels (I think). Possibly when I was in my twenties, I got away with things more because of youth

(Can someone tell me how to quote someone? Is there a new users manual. I have never done anything like this before because most sites like these (is this a chat room?) just seem full of rubbish. It is very refreshing to read, so many .......... that make sense!

Also I would like to add that I do not think that "mild aspergers" should be underestimated. I was very ambitious, thought that every one else was at fault and carried on regardless of the bullying / sexual harrassment. I wore blinkers to get through life and lived for my work. The result is that I have now got chronic fatigue and have had for 10 years. The first 2 years were bedbound, it was beyond awful. The consequence of thinking my problems could be ignored have completely devistated me (though I now have a wonderful daughter (that I would never have had if my "mild aspergers hadn't just decided to let me know exactly how mild it was). Luckely for my my life has been improved (otherwise I would have probably died on retirement alone and eaten by alsation) but I would not reccomend it as a way to go!