Which have it harder? Male Aspies or female Aspies?

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Attractive, I mean. I see your point. Sorry.

Females aren't as affected by Asperger's, generally speaking. So they tend to find it easier to socialise and such.

That's not actually known yet.

I do know that when they've looked at boys and girls diagnosed with autism, they both have the same level of autism related issues, but girls have more neurological problems. But there's all kinds of reasons that may not be true overall. (I certainly fit that description though.)

You mean like the pressure we males get to have sex 10,000 times a day with 50 different people? Yeah, that's nothing compared to what girls have to deal with.



What I said above.



Ever heard of sports, sex, and all of the other things men are expected to be interested in?



I've known plenty of girls who weren't obsessed with shopping, celebrities, etc. and I still respected them when they deserved it. My first love wasn't into most of this stuff, but that didn't change the way I saw her. You're talking about a stereotype here.



This statement, while technically true, is very naive.



Are they really friends or just people who are trying to take advantage of him? Most of my "friends" were in the latter category. The fact that someone is surrounded by other people does not mean that those people genuinely like him.



Again, what about sports, sex, beer, partying, etc.? I was picked on and made fun of for my interest in mathematics throughout a large portion of my childhood.



Um, wha? Also, men are supposed to be hairy. That's just life.



You don't have to pluck your eyebrows if you're a girl. There is a very small portion of the female population who are cursed with thick, bushy unibrows. Maybe you're one of them.



Because men are supposed to be hairy. And there is no rule that says you "have to" shave your legs. It just makes you more socially attractive, just like not being an aspie makes a guy socially attractive.





Yeah, most of the difficulties you've described apply to women in general, not just aspie women. So are you asking whether AS affects women worse than men, or are you just asking whether women have it harder than men? Personally, I believe women have it harder than men as a general rule, but it has nothing to do with AS.

Girls are under-diagnosed because the symptoms are hardly noticeable apart from in rare cases, so of course a study looking only at boys and girls diagnosed with AS would come to that conclusion.

I think that males will tend to believe that they have it harder while females will tend to believe that they have it harder, because people seem to overestimate their own suffering in comparison to others and underestimate the suffering of others in comparison to their own. I think that in explaining their reasoning for their answers males and females will focus on different areas, especially areas in which particular pressure is placed on people to fit particular roles.

Suffering varies between individuals of different genders and even between individuals of the same gender. Everyone, regardless of their gender, can only have accurate perceptions of experiences they have experienced, and then can only have accurate perceptions of experiencing those experiences as a person of their own gender and not of the corresponding experiences experienced by people of the opposite gender.

They do.

Interestingly, focusing on helping others with their suffering is a good way to forget your own. Understanding your own suffering is a good idea, but dwelling in it is self harming.

f**k this

1. Who knows

2. Who cares

It's always gonna be different for each individual person, regardless of their sex

This topic is entirely too broad to answer.

What sex a person is does not/can not account for how much they "suffer" due to individual issues. Individual life experiences are too varied to be pinned down by only two lables.

It's like this for both genders, but especially for females.

We are all expected to be a certain way.

If a girl is tomboy, that's fine. But if there a hundred other quirks to go along with it, she is labeled as a freak if not someone that should simply be avoided.

Ironically, girl autistics can blend in better and adapt faster to the NT world than boys. But not so ironically, that makes it harder for them to get diagnosed. So their behavior is overlooked, and if they never suspected themselves to be autistic or anything of the like, then they go through a lifetime of troubles that only serve to confuse them.

Being a girl is difficult all on its own.

And when you're autistic... Sh*t goes down from there.

I voted for girls since girls are expected to have good social skills and personal hygiene. I used to struggle with brushing my hair because my hair is thick. I also didn't like taking showers or brushing my teeth. I can usually tell if a guy's an aspie, but I have trouble telling if a girl's an aspie. I know one aspie girl who told everyone she was an aspie. She started a book club and I came to the first meeting since I usually have nothing to do during lunch break. She told everyone else about me being aspie! That made me so embarrassed. Oops I'm going off topic!

I think that females are more romantically sucessful, because of a strange appeal many have for males, ie being more male like than other females can help a little... but males are better on average at having and keeping friends. There are many aspie women out there who are married and have kids but no friends outside their marriage, or few. Males on the other hand are less likely to marry if they have AS, but they are more likely to be able to find some like-minded friends even if only for gaming or some other interest.

And some women have quite a bit of body hair too because that's just how life made them. Maybe not as much as men, but they have it nonetheless no matter how much society maintains that all women are supposed look like pre-adolescent boys with breasts. If you meant that society is OK with men being hairy then yes, I agree. If you meant that men are just hairy by nature then yes I agree with that but disagree that that's a counter point to the social expectation point since many women also have some bodyhair issues and we get slammed if we don't want to constantly have to fight the folic effects of us having successfully gone through adolescence. Meanwhile a man who doesn't want to shave usually doesn't seem to get massive pressure to do so, for his face or the rest of his body. So long as he stays clean I don't think anyone's going to tell him he's repulsive solely because of having body hair.


Yes, society is much more OK with men being as hairy as nature made them. Much less so with women. But see how you said cursed when speaking of female hair issues? I find that kind of telling.


Yeah uh, being an aspie doesn't exactly make us girls any more socially attractive, it's an issue for us too. More invisible maybe, but there's downsides to being ignored as well.

I still think it's not really something we can just split along gender lines. I'm sure there's many men and women who both have it significantly worse and better than I do. While I'm sure they face somewhat different challenges and stereotypes from the people around them I think it's probably far far more individual based how a person does than ever gender related.

If the symptoms are noticable only in rare cases and the ratio is now around 4:1, females must vastly outnumber males in actual occurrence? Can't be true.

Girls are often misdiagnosed with mental conditions like bipolar, OCD, depression and personality disorders. Those who can make it on their own are labeled as freaks and failures. Believe me, people notice.

Though like I said before, based on what I've read and experienced myself, I believe this is changing. I'm female, and many people comment on my "Asperger's syndrome", which I'm not diagnosed with. When I mentioned AS to health professionals when someone first suggested I might have it, they'd often reply with "stop talking about it, you don't have it!" Now they suggest I might be more successful with an autistic partner than an NT, or say "Haven't you tried to get a diagnosis?!" My previous diagnosis is schizotypal disorder. The main symptoms were negative: flat affect (oh, how I hate people saying that...), catatonia (recently dubbed asthenia by some dinosaur), monotonous voice etc. The only reason I wasn't diagnosed with schizophrenia was because I wasn't openly psychotic. My current diagnosis is ADD, which I would've never gotten if it wasn't for the neuropsychological test. Actually, it was almost ignored despite the test results. Developmental attention deficit disorder isn't the same thing as ADHD. When I asked what the difference was, the psychiatrist mumbled something and changed subject.

On the other hand, now that AS is no longer trendy, even boys and men may struggle to get an accurate diagnosis.

I think it's harder for females, unless you are good at ignoring other people's opinions. I'm quite happy with my life, other than the fact that people expect me to be more like a woman - you know like caring, nice and nurturing type. Even those who know me well, frequently forget that I'm different and mention how I'm not up to expectation and not a good wife, mother, sister, daughter or whatever. Guys can get away with eccentricities and anti-social behaviors easier. My dad never had a single friend in his life, nobody ever picked on him about that.

I just decided that I'll not care any more about what people expect. I'll be honest (mostly) and stop pretending I'm normal. I don't like taking care of people/things and don't want to. Maybe people will stop caring that I'm not meeting their expectations if they're disappointed enough.

It's not as much of an issue for aspie girls. Ever noticed how many aspie girls here are in relationships whereas aspie guys in relationships are pretty much nonexistent?