Something bizarre happed with a previous bully!

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Yes. Most bullies were bullied. Most abusers were abused. This is why I like the economic approach. It does not assign blame. It merely measures costs and benefits.

I don't want bullies to feel bad or find religion or go to jail. I want to change society so that not being a bully is no longer profitable.

Oh, a youth pastor... Yeah, I kinda got bad experiences with mine currently, I must forgive him, but yeah, if there's one preacher profession you can be a douche in, youth pastors. They tend to have as the Bible calls it, "zeal without knowledge" or they have knowledge, from books, but don't have humility and understanding to go with it that an older pastor would more likely have (but not always, you can be old and be a douche, too). Some are great, though, just I feel I have an axe to grind with my current one, I still must forgive him though. Lord forgive me.

Anyway, I'd just talk to him and see how he treats you. See if his change is real. Hell, see if he apologizes to you.

I don't know, I grew up in a Fundamentalist household, and stopped going to church in 7th grade. I went to my friend's Lutheran church a few times in between, and liked it, but couldn't go often enough. And in between 7-12th grade timespan, I became a huge douchebag. Not a bully per se, but a huge douche nonetheless. Then I started going to a nondenominational Protestant church, and yeah, it helped me a lot. However, I'm finding I can't handle the social stress and, sorta...craziness, of that sort of church. You know, the "charismatic" type, and now I'm drawn toward Eastern Orthodoxy. Don't give up on God, despite your childhood, that's all I can say.

God bless.

Another born again Christian!

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-model-murder-20111005,0,6452381.story

It doesn't surprise me at all that a former bully turned to a religion for some security and stability. I am convinced that the psychiatric and personal problems of bullies are far more severe than those of their victims. If you are a stable person with some integrity you don't feel the need to bully others.

Beware: becoming overly religious does NOT turn someone into a better person!

My worst bullies as a kid, were aparently Christians. It's made me extremly distrstful of anyone who calls themself a Christian. Jesus, protect me from your followers!

As adults, bullies may choose professions that allow them to have power over people: politics, religious figures, police officers, etc.

That was my first thought as well. And I'm a Christian! But there's such a thing as Spiritual Abuse, and while some spiritual abusers are just parents or others pressuring someone with their favorite verses, it's often a pastor twisting the Bible to give him power and to bully a larger group than he could control back in school. While I'm most familiar with Christian abusers, I'm sure other religions are used for abuse in much the same way -- some New Age cults are pretty clearly a bully leader using religious beliefs to abuse his followers. Although in many cases I think the leader really does believe what he's saying -- sort of as if the leader is blinding himself right along with everyone else. But usually they're pushing people to conform with rules they can easily follow, and are oddly oblivious to the cruelties that can result. For example, abusive Christian leaders come up with the most bizarre explanations for the many, many passages condemning the legalism they're beating their followers with, and at the same time miss the verses other bullies get legal about that they might find it hard to conform to.

I had the exact same experience with an ex bully that friended me on facebook when i signed up. I was like "WTF"?

Proves that given enough time, people can change.

People don't change, don't deceive yourself he would be any different than he was, if not turning Christian. Ask him on FB or in the guestbook on his website so that everybody could read, if he's still into bullying and say that you once had a suicide attempt because of all the bullying We'll see what he'll say