What assumptions do NTs make about you that you HATE?!

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One assumption they tend to make when they hear about my diagnosis, and they know I want kids:
"Are you sure you can take care of a baby?

That they assume that the autistic is doomed to be jobless, living at home and destined for a forever single life.

(of NT parents in general) That if you are autistic as a kid you'll never progress upwards, and your destiny is ultimately to be put into a group home or institutionalized.

I fear I may be answering a different question from the one that was asked, because it's another interpretation of the same words.

It's what I thought the question meant, until I read a few responses, and realised you probably meant something else, to do with having a diagnosis, and how people react to that. I don't have a diagnosis (any diagnosis! - long story), therefore I don't carry a diagnosis around with me on a placard, as it were, for people to react to.

What people do react to is me, of course. And then there isn't one thing, just an indescribably destructive tendency for people to assume that I am like them in some basic way, and, in terms of this mistaken and unspoken assumption, to infer wrongly what feelings, thoughts, and motives I have (also what feelings, thoughts and motives I don't have - so that in effect I am treated as if my consciousness literally doesn't exist), and then to act towards me, usually destructively, on the basis of these false inferences from false assumptions.

Because this is the given "reality" with which I have to deal, whenever I interact socially (which, so far as is humanly possible, I have given up doing, with the result that I am noticeably less often suicidal than before), I use up all my energy trying to maintain an existence in this "reality" imposed by others, and entirely forget who I really am.

(Hence the suicidality. I read somewhere on the Web the other day something to this effect: "Thus we kill ourselves. Suicide is just tidiness." That is, the soul has already been killed off, and it is tidy to remove the body from the world as well.)

I haven't fully explained the destructiveness of what happens. That would take a book, perhaps. But part of it is that I tried with all my might, for about 35 of the last 40 years (I'm 59), to have total faith in the "reality" which other people presented to me, and to reject all my own thoughts, feelings, and wishes as being deeply "wrong", in some way or other.

Because, obviously, I am a human being - you can tell that by looking at me - therefore, my feeling all my life of being different from everyone else must be an illusion, a wicked self-deception, and I must learn to accept the physical reality of what I am, which everyone else knows about (literally everyone else, or at least everyone over the age of puberty), and I don't.

That is, literally every single [adult] human being in an infallible authority to me, and knows vastly more about the real world than I do, which includes the fact (according to this construction of "reality") that they know and understand more about me than I do know or understand about myself. Everything I ever thought I knew or understood about myself is a wicked lie, to be consigned to the flames. I must put away my wicked self, and be saved by total and unquestioning belief in the "reality" presented to me by others. (That means any "reality", and any others, including even gangs of bullying, mocking teenagers on the streets, who might as well be the Pope, for all that I can effectively discriminate between these 7,000,000,000 infallible moral and intellectual authorities.)

All this, of course, begs (or at least leaves unanswered) the question of what is the difference between me and all these other people, which, when I try as hard as I can to deny it and be like the others, doesn't go away just because everyone else in the world is pretending that it isn't there and I am pretending as hard as I can along with them.

All I know at the moment is that it is something very like the difference between Aspies and NTs, in some respects, at least.

There remains the difficult job, in fact two difficult jobs, of (1) undoing the insanely destructive effects of the last 40 years of "pretending" or "acting", so that I have some better idea from the inside, as it were, of who I really am (as opposed to the soul-destroying "outside" view, which is all that I can get from other people), and (2) bringing this more real aspect of myself into better connection with other people (perhaps with the help of WP, if it works out for me, as it seems to be doing so far, in spite - or because! - of my extreme oddness), so that I can get a more really "realistic" look at myself from the "outside", as well as the "inside".

I often get told that I can't be an aspie because I smile too much or because I'm too friendly. 29 years of people asking you why you don't smile, and "what is wrong?" helps you learn to smile in public, at least to shut people up.

Well that has been something my mom has told me many times about, and given the problems I have gotten in, even from being banned from an anime convention due to an owner who hates Autistic people/Aspies, I figure him and many others never learned about the disorder knowing how he has seen the picture of how the human race is no longer becomming truely "Intelligent" anymore or even safe as a matter of fact.

1. That I'm stupid.
2. That I'm in my own world and I think like a younger kid (even though I used to be that way.)
3. That I'm a creep.

That my condition is a choice I'm really just like everyone else:

In a letter from my mother, "I know you have this aspergers but can't you just control it?"

That it is all in my mind:

Conversation with a friend, "You're just thinking too much about stuff"