Asperger's and lying ...

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I didn't know whether I was good or bad at lying so I asked my mum. She said to me..."You didn't lie as a kid, either that or you were extremely good at it and never got caught". Maybe that's why I couldn't remember - it never happened in the first place. Strange I know because most kids do lie to try to get out of trouble.

uh...wow. first off, this wasn't a mormon i was talking to. second, i'm polytheistic so anything i said about "God" would be a lie. third, my family's big secret was that my mother is mentally ill and was beating me and my siblings bloody every day. so...i don't see how the FBI would get involved with that. apparently you didn't figure it out after all.

Oh, my bad for assuming with the Mormons. It's irrelevant if you're polytheistic or not. That has no bearing on the situation. Sure, you could have said that you don't believe in one God. You could have said that in your opinion, God is a lie. You could have said that God doesn't bother you, so why should you bother him. Really, you could have said thousands of things without lying. Err...you really don't think the FBI looks into issues like that?! To be honest I was thinking of something different, though.

Find it hard to lie in cases where it could hurt or cheat somebody.
The reason probly is I fear catching hell if caught. I worry about wether people believe me
even when I am just stateing things the way I see them.
A theripst once told me that telling people what you think they want to hear is lieing too,
like trying to seem interested in what stupid things they might have done on the weekend.

Definitely a lie, and one that society accepts day in and out. We're programmed to think this is acceptable on many fronts. It's inauthentic and harbors compliance and complacency. If something is wrong, say it! Let it be known. If someone is pigeon holing you into a certain type of answer, call them out! Screw what other people expect in us. We are as we are. Take us in our entirety or not at all. The choice is not ours to decide.

This statement is a lie.


I dislike lying, they're jagged, incomplete, unaesthetic in my head.

Not very good at it because I don't transmit the physical cues to "sell" it either.


Well, to be fair, either people assume I'm completely honest, or completely dishonest, due to the lack of cues.

Happily I love deadpan humor, and am quite good at selling thoroughly ridiculous jokes that way.


The truth is useful, it has the ability to produce new truths, a lie is only useful for illuminating itself, and contrasting other truths against it.

Lying, from my perspective, is like saying 1 + 1 = cat, then continuing that cat + cat = chair, and cat * chair = table, except that is a logically constructed, if ridiculous structure, so it's more like saying all that, then stating that table + chair = cat, which is absurd.

I know an aspie who lies all the time, and is totally manipulative. I think it's part of a kind of coping strategy she's adopted, her being unable to get what she needs in a straightforward way.

I rarely lie as I find it a lot more work than being honest.

When I lie I feel dishonest doing it, so I rarely do it.

I hate lying. I find it hard to do due to guilt. I find it so easy to lie when I am embarrassed about something. I often feel like I am lying when I don't get everything out of my mouth or tell everything.

I lied a lot as a kid because I didn't like getting into trouble so I would lie to stay out of it but it never worked. My mom always knew it was me. She always knew I was lying. I rarely got away with it.

But I have never tried lying to see if I get caught or not. I know I can jump on a forum and claim to be diagnosed with cancer and people will believe me. That is so easy to do but can I keep it up? I don't like to lie so I always tell the truth. I don't say things about myself that are not true. I have also admitted things too I did online and didn't deny it when someone called me out on it.

I did troll AS Partners and pretended to be NT and claimed for my husband to be aspie and my dad and relatives. I found it hard to do because it was like I was telling a story and I had to think up a story to make posts. But it was also fun getting the attention. But I was caught. I assume they found out I was an aspie. Why approve my posts and then take away my reply button? So I think I was caught being an aspie.

I have gone to Yahoo Answers and trolled and found it lot of fun and getting all this attention. But I would also feel a little guilty because people would take my question seriously and they would give me a good answer. I felt bad for that because they wasted their time with a troll making that answer. But hey at least they got two points but still. I haven't done any trolling there since January. I got bored because not all my troll questions got attention. Now bunch of replies or they had none. But when I made them more trollish, it got more attention. I see trolling as a form of lying because what you are saying is not true. Even the things you say are not your genuine opinions or views because the whole point is to get reactions out of people and to see what they say and what their reactions be.

Did telling the truth to your psychologist or psychiatrist or general practitioner ever get you in trouble?

I think these people want the truth, in some abstract sense, but in reality they do not ever expect to hear it. So when they ask me a question and I tell them the answer, because there is only one answer, it can drive them into total panic and get me in a load of trouble. For instance, how is anyone supposed to answer "Do you have suicidal or self-harmful thoughts?"

I suspect that people with Asperger's syndrome get into trouble very easily if they are examined by a psychiatrist for anything other than Asperger's.

I lie all the time, I can be a very manipulative, sometimes spiteful person when I want to be.
That whole myth of all AS people are sweet and genuine-lol
big lie

the irony
but yes, lying is easy for me and I don't feel anything if I do
I lie when I need to, for personal gain
as what most lying is (or to spare someone's feelings-I do that too)

I know I have been manipulative in the past but it never worked. I don't even try to manipulate because I also see that as being dishonest because you trick people. I only find it okay when you are a parent. Of course you are going to punish your kids to get them to listen. Of course you are going to threaten them with a punishment so they listen. That's the whole point in parenting, to teach your kids to follow rules and treat others with respect, etc. or you get a consequence. Now that isn't tricking because it's all genuine. if your kids don't listen you follow through with your punishment.

That's mindblindness as well? I thought it was ... normal.


I have trouble lying directly, because I get nervous, make more eye-contact that usually, my eyes also drift to the left. My whole self-experience changes and I suddenly feel like 'I' am very small and my body is a shell, and I have no idea how this shows.
I however am good at omitting part of the truth and leaving gaps that other people usually fill with what they assume has to be there. When talking to other people, I often pause to rearrange my thoughts and my conversation partners often suggest what they think might be the word I was looking for. I don't know if this behaviour is common everywhere, but it is very common where I grew up, and it's a way to show you're being attentive. So, when I don't want to tell the truth about something I use this behaviour by pausing when I don't need to think, and usually the other person 'helps me out' by finishing the sentence with what they think should be there. I do this to avoid confrontation and in the hope that it buys me time to fix whatever was wrong. Often it does, sometimes it doesn't.
I lie a lot more than I want to because I don't have the guts to tell the truth and face the anger or disappointment of other people (with me, but also with the situation or with other people.)

This is a very interesting thread.

My son, who is the most moral, rational, rule-loving person in the world, has absolutely NO PROBLEM lieing to me when it has to do with school responsibilities that he hasn't kept up with. He's good at it, too. He's totally believable.

What I can't figure out is how it benefits him. It hasn't been much of a problem until this year (he's 13, and in 8th grade) when the school expectations have just skyrocketed. Most assignments are online, and we check online constantly, so we know when most things are due -- and if not that, we know when they are late. This is a very real problem, and as a result of his lieing constantly about assignments (and they are usually in English class, the one that he finds the most difficult) we are having to ratchet up the consequences, mostly just having him write lists, check his backpack, check online for missed assignments and check online for homework expectations. It's exhausting for everyone. I hope 9th grade is easier (I hear that it is)!

that is a brilliant thought. you can't get to the truth without the truth, if you are more minded toward discovery of course you are going to value truth. eppur si muove and all that.

I think that is a very succinct way of putting it. I think a neurotypical way of being is to work with what is at hand. a spectrum way might be that what is at hand is not acceptable or desirable. My mother used to drive me crazy with "that's just the way it is" as if people weren't actively engaged in making 'it' that way.

I don't lie often. I feel that lying is wrong in all cases. However, I will do it if required to protect the health and safety of myself or someone I love. Thats my line in the sand.