Does anyone else love going out every weekend?

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I just assumed you had AS. You don't?? I assumed you knew what you were talking about because you had it! Well then what do you know about me? Do YOU have as many symptoms as I do yet consider yourself neurotypical? I've seen a couple of your posts and you appear to have some of them, but apparently you doubt you have it. I have a hard time expressing emotions facially and verbally, but I still experience most emotions.

But online? Give me a break! You think people with AS don't have emotions? I don't EXPRESS CERTAIN emotions verbally and facially at the correct times, and certain emotions don't transfer from other people to me. My dad can shout at me for a half hour and it just looks silly to me; I just say "We're inside, why are you shouting? Lower your voice and discuss this logically." My mom starts crying about the divorce; it looks silly, even though I'd probably do the same thing myself. I don't feel empathy. I smile, dart my eyes from face to face, and move my eyebrows around during a conversation, because I choose to. I don't do it around my dad, but I put on a nice little facial/body language act for a pretty girl.

I think you're confusing my somewhat NT-like method of writing/speaking with actual NT social skills. Don't discredit the fact that becoming socially normal is an obsession for me. You think that in all of my years of reading books, Zelda games, message board posts...I somehow became great with every aspect of the English language yet failed to find the utility in using exclamation points?

I've ALWAYS conveyed emotion online. The first girl I got anywhere at all with--we talked online every day and it was winky smileys and ! !!s galore. Then I'd see her in school and find myself unable to convey any sort of emotion.

I'm sorry, I assumed you were some sort of expert. But apparently you make threads like this: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3527475 ... t=#3527475
What have you done since you posted that thread? I'll tell you what I did. I spent the last 3 days researching Asperger's to determine how many areas of my life it affects. In addition to already having been diagnosed. You don't see the differences between you and me? Uh, you decided to ask another human being about something before googling it.

Case closed! If you're going to doubt I have Asperger's, make sure you ACTUALLY HAVE ASPERGER'S. Duh! Why would anyone who doesn't have it assume to know what it's like to have it? I'm guessing it happens often though.

League_Girl: I feel like it does break me from having AS in many ways. I used to have no idea how to have a conversation with someone, but we certainly have the ability to. On that Ingenious Minds show they featured a savant who performed social skills with the logical part of his brain, but with therapy, he was able to start using the correct part of his brain for social skills. I feel like we're probably much the same way. I learn behaviors by careful observation and analysis, apply them synthetically (it feels like acting), and then eventually they become partially instinctive. I never used to gesture when I spoke, but now I do sometimes if I'm explaining something. Mostly because I choose to, but partially because I'm compelled to.

Yeah, I was being sarcastic. But since I was being sarcastic I guess that makes me unAS. I get so sick of people going around undiagnosing or saying someone doesn't have it because they did something lot of aspies wouldn't normally do like going to parties or concerts. Then by their logic, that means John Robinson (the guy you spoke about from that show) doesn't have it nor my two online friends. One of them just told me he goes to parties just as long as there is beer. He loves his beer. Well I went to dances because I liked the music they played and I just walked around and sat out and heard the music since it hurt my ears. I only danced with someone when I was asked to or invited to. Yep we all cured ourselves. More sarcasm right there about curing and even more, anyone who goes to the autism groups here is all cured because they are socializing and doing eye contact and hey they went out. See how stupid this all is?


But the more you speak the more aspie you sound. I was even talking to one of my other aspie friends who is "mild" but he has impairments and is effected by them. In some ways he sounds more AS than me and in some ways I sound more AS than him. It's like each aspie comes with their own package meaning each aspie has their own symptoms and are affected differently by it.

And I have always done a better job writing about my feelings than expressing them with my mouth. It's rare when my mind decides to work right and I am finally expressing them well with my mouth. Pregnancy made me express them better and so did the miscarriage. It drove my husband crazy because he wasn't used to it. He was used to the old me not showing them well. I say they both made me more NT but I really upset him when I joked about how I should have more miscarriages. Sometimes my sense of humor hurts. My dad has the same issue too except he doesn't have AS and my social skills are better than his only because I learned them and he didn't.

I like going to parties if there's going to be good food. I don't go to parties if I hear they only have drinks and appetizers. I love going out if it's for dining. I'm just a big time foodie. I also like to go to parks, beaches, the open outdoors with my family. So I'm not sure if I like to go "out" or not. I like going out for food, shopping, fun or exercises. I don't like to go out to socialize, socializing is not fun. My DH's extended family frequently have get-togethers and sit there, in chairs and chat, like all day. It's like listening to sermons. I usually wander off to read, play piano or do some activities. I don't understand why a bit of conversation during dinner and tea would not be enough. Everyone is so up-to-date with their news nowadays with email, blogs and online networks, it's not like there's still any news left to talk in person.

I recently joined a sports team.

I've slowly begun aquiring "friends."

I've been working on anxiety and sensory issues, so I've been trying to mingle with people and "go out (not to parties, but I do enjoy hiking)."

Guess that means I'm not Aspie any more! Not! I'm still an Aspie, it just happens I have a decent personality that some people actually enjoy buried under my nerd-ism. You could be "sensory seeking" as opposed to "sensory defensive." It does happen. In any case, you can be like a spy and report back to the Aspie Mother Nest on what NTs do when they're clumped together like they always are.

For financial reasons, not every weekend. And, since I quit my job a few days ago, I'll refrain from going out this month (but I'm participating in two/three opportunities right now, and at least one of them seems pretty much guaranteed). But yeah, I love going out.

accidental post

Having read the whole thread I think it seems more likely that the OP has Narcissistic personality disorder than AS. It isn't just the party thing - I know some very social Aspies (who however could never pass for NTs), it is more the way he is expressing everything and the obvious stimulation that he is getting from the social interactions. The reason I think this, is because I once had a friend who I think has NPD and there are some things that seem familar in particular:

- Trying to appear to be similar to the target group/person. My 'friend' would often say how similar she was to me, how she didn't feel part of the group we worked in together (like me) and how unhappy she was (like me) - sometimes 'reading' my emotions in a way noone else has been able to to get to things inside me. But she didn't act like this when with the others. It confused me at the time but I understand why now - so that she could manipulate me more easily to do the things she wanted me to do. Everytime someone in this thread describes something they do or feel the OP comes back with a similar story.

- Appearing superior to the target group/person. So my friend would say that she found it hard to deal with people but that she had learnt to do it. It was a way of putting me down - i.e. I couldn't learn and therefore was defective in comparison to her. By saying he has managed to overcome his AS, the OP is effectively giving the suggestion that those of us that cannot do this are just not trying hard enough.

- Always wanting to talk about oneself. The OP has admitted this one. My friend was constantly doing this and complaining about other people all the time.

- And related to that, not really caring about other people, although can appear to be if required. Again the OP has said that he doesn't really care about what other people are saying or feeling. This is more sociopathic than Aspie - we generally care but either don't notice, or if we do notice we don't know how to express empathy. My friend gave every impression of caring about me until suddenly she got bored and found someone else who was more interesting - typically just at a point when I needed her and had asked for her help.

- Always wanting to meet new people for more stimulation. Also to make new friends as they tend to get bored of people after a while, or end up losing friends who realise they are being manipulated.

- Lying in order to manipulate people. This sort of covers many of the points above (e.g. lying that they are similar to you, or lying that they care about you). Don't think Aspies can do this particularly well and are often morally extremely opposed to it.

People with NPD usually refuse to believe they have it, and as it stems from something in their childhood it isn't really their fault any more than being AS is. I read up quite a bit on it since realising that it may explain how my friend acted towards me - something that I had spent over 3 years going over and over in my head trying to work out why she had done what she did. Now I have my explanation and it has also given me a strong awareness that when other people display these characteristics it is best to stay away from them however charming and sympathetic they may appear.

I apologise to the OP for pointing these things out. I rarely take against people I have only just met (or never met), but I can't forgive what one person with NPD did to me and will do anything to stop others with it getting what they want.

Depends where I'm going out to. Thinks like parties and clubs I hate, due to me SA and also most of the kinds of people I hate are usually there.

I do enjoy going to the movies alone though,

I used to be in the party scene...from the age of 18-21. The roommate I live with is a dj and I pretty much tag along with him everywhere. As long as I'm with him, I feel safe. I liked going to clubs, but I was also drinking and doing drugs. At that point the noise and the lights didn't seem to matter. I was addicted to the feeling of being part of the group. I didn't have any friends, but I knew all of his. I mainly hung out in the dj booth or at a vip table and people watched. It was a nice to escape me for a little while and just listen to music.

Being a college student now, I no longer go out...ever. I am completely focused on school. My roommate took me out to a street festival one night and, being sober, it was not a pleasant experience.