delusional thinking

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i've worried about all these things too. My theory is that because I know that reality has often turned out to be very different to how I thought it was, I start believing that things are possible that actually are not.

Definitely.

When I was a lot younger, I tried to get some people to do certain things, etc.... And it did work often enough to suspect there was something to it. I ALSO tried to determine what people were thinking, and sometimes knew what they were going to talk about, etc... It didn't work all the time, and it wasn't like I could ask a question, or find out what they knew. I guess it only worked when they were actively thinking about it. Eventually, that much effort gave me a headache, so I gave it up. AGAIN, it was probably like 8 or so. So I stopped even trying.

BTW I have met a LOT of people, some celebrated, that claimed they were more successfull/reliable than I was. I checked them out. So far, it seems EVERY single one is a FRAUD! So frankly I wouldn't fear anyone reading your thoughts. Even when it worked for me, it was only good for a quick decision, or a parlour trick. EVEN when I found something embarrassing, I wouldn't state it, because you could ALWAYS be wrong.

As for the paranoia? I guess one COULD say I had that in a way, FOR A REASON! I just didn't know HOW they knew whatever, or WHY? EVENTUALLY, the differences became more pronounced, and they became more vocal, and I knew how/why.

HEY, I KNEW I was different, and thought different, but I didn't know things were so pronounced, or that it was caused by an event that affects so few people.

Steve

Fascinating ! !! It seems that quite a few feel like they're being watched. I used to watch "The Prisoner" and got quite paranoid. Also reading Robert Anton Wilson's fiction didn't help a bit. I've read a lot of the conspiracy stuff, and the line between reality and delusion disappears after awhile. My guess is that our 'emotion blindness' causes us to think that others are onto something we're not. Which is strictly speaking accurate. NT's read emotions, and inspire emotions in ways we can't. Many times I've been outright puzzled at someone (usually a bloke I work with) blowing up in anger over something someone said to him that to me seemed innocent enough. Always the question of 'what do they know that I don't know' comes up. I tried to be a salesman for awhile, and I was bloody awful ! ! Now I know why, NT's are the best salesmen with their ability to get people emotionally involved in the sale. That movie where the chap is inside a television show and doesn't know it also stuck home for me.

I'm not sure whether I have experieced this or currently expereincing it.

Briefly:

I suffer from OCD, and I am paranoid that people want to poison me with a substance that forms part of my fear. Sometimes I become convinced that somebody has poisoned me, part of my compulsions consist of preventing such an event from happening.

My OCD has evolved so much that my fear of loosing my I.Q and memory is no longer the fear. I fear that I will be poisoned deliberatly by a subtstance which is involved with my fear.

I can't continue on this.

Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are NOT out to get you! HEHEHHEEEHEHEHEHHEHEEEE!! !! !

I've definently had some brief moments of total paranoia. It has mainly (or only I think) happened if I look someone (a particular girl whos a NT friend) deep into the eyes, and I will get this overwhelming sense that this person is an alien and they can look directly into my brain and they are definently totally malicious... AAAAAAAAAAAAA.......
This has luckilly only happened a few times, and I have managed to look away and the thought dissipates rather quickly...phew... I still shudder at the thought though... and just by thinking about it now I glimpse the sensation again..
But what if it REALLY IS TRUE???? AAAAAAAAAA......

My ex-girlfriend once told me as a side-remark/snicker that I was delusional. She wasn't specific and I laughed it away. Now I'm not so sure. I didn't know/realize then that I had AS (and probably and borderline personality as well).

I'm allways get paranoid/delusional travelling through an airport because of all the cameras and security people, and it makes me feel like a criminal or something who has something to hide...

OMG, I'm a complete nutcase

As i read this thread i think:

1. Our minds tend to be pretty powerful, but that does not imply correct direction.

2. We tend to be introspective.

3. we tend to be honest.

psot

Me too, I've had similar thoughts. I thought I was responsible for the Gulf War and attempted suicide during it because I felt so guilty. That somehow I am influencing these events and "they" are tracking me to discover these things. I've also felt that I was being unwittingly "used" by "them" to track/find other people that "they" could not find on their own (and vice-versa, that other people were being unwittingly used to track me).

So to tally the poll (since the numbers are split):

Yes. 56%
No. 22%
Maybe. 20%

I have bipolar disorder... so whenever i get into a manic phase- I have major feelings of grandiosity and paranoia. I've been on meds though and they SEEM to help.

From childhood up through my late teens, I had to check in my closet, behind doors, and under the bed whenever i entered a room. In my teens, I knew rationally that it was highly unlikely that anyone was hiding in there but hey, you never know. I eventually grew out of this, but it still hits sometimes.

Another thing I had was an imaginary friend who i didn't really want. THis too was waaaaay after the developmentally appropriate age. He just wouldn't go away. Here too, I knew it was all my mind, and and i never actually saw or heard him. But there was like this presense, always with me. I had no privacy. We argued a lot, but sometimes we had fun. Eventually he went away too and i'm glad. I don't miss him.

I can relate.. once in a while I get home and have to check everywhere someone could be hiding.. shower, closets, cupboards.. but if I was too freaked out, I might leave the door unlocked.. then I have to start all over because someone may have snuck in while I wasn't looking. Can't live in a circular layout place.

Does making major life decisions based on numbers on digital clocks, odometers, temperature gauges, and phone numbers count as dilusional? I once dated one girl instead of another simply because her phone number was a logical sequence to me.. of course it didn't work out in the end.

I get that fear of people "hearing" my thoughts as well, especially if they're close enough to touch me (buses in the summer are HELL here on the Pembrokeshire coast). I suspect it's to do with everyone else having that instinctive knowledge of what to do and how to behave in every social situation... I mean they must all be mind-readers, right? They're communicating with each other telepathically. There's no other explanation for it

Well, I have been accused of lying when I didn't, or being a showoff when I wasn't, and misreated beyond logic. I never thought they could read my mind! Even ANIMALS have misunderstood my intentions, and done DUMB things, and I tricked a dog. So NOPE! They think like we do. Perhaps not as much, or as well, or to as deep a level, but they have the same senses, and react to them as we do.

As for imagining shadows could be bad things, and looking in hiding places, nearly EVERY kid does that! There have been movies about it.

Steve

Well, I have been accused of lying when I didn't, or being a showoff when I wasn't, and misreated beyond logic. I never thought they could read my mind! Even ANIMALS have misunderstood my intentions, and done DUMB things, and I tricked a dog. So NOPE! They think like we do. Perhaps not as much, or as well, or to as deep a level, but they have the same senses, and react to them as we do.

As for imagining shadows could be bad things, and looking in hiding places, nearly EVERY kid does that! There have been movies about it.

Steve

The thoughts I had were more distorted than delusional. That is why I was hospitalized.

I do not think that I have delusions. However, sometimes, I do have thoughts that I know are false, yet I can't bring myself to believe that they are.

For example, during stressful times in my life, I sometimes wonder if I am the subject of a cruel experiment designed to test how much crap I can take, and that the poeple in my life are privy to this knowledge, and they intentionally try to stress me out. It is a lot easier to believe that, thereby providing me with someone to blame for my problems, than to have no one to blame at all.

In case any of you are part of this experiment, I have learned that I can take a lot of crap. So there.