swbluto
Veteran
Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization
06 Aug 2011, 4:49 pm
Maje wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Maje wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
Maje wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
Maje wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
Maje wrote:
Mdyar wrote:
Maje wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
Mdyar wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
I've seen the same thing.
But, I tell you, sometimes it does feel that way.
Although, I know that I still have them.
I can go for a few months at a time, sometimes, not feeling anything deeply. Everything just feels mechanical. It's hard to relate to people when I go on *computer* mode, but I can still relate to the to the people I know well. I may talk less and withdraw a little more, it's just because I don't have much to say. I still enjoy their company. I'm still upbeat, and friendly enough. I forget a lot of things and ask stupid questions because I have no idea what people are talking about but, I don't get depressed or anything.
The upside is that I'm almost never sad.
It's easy to misunderstand people and get into altercations that you don't even realize you're having when your emotions disappear. I misread people, or seem oblivious, and then they get mad or just stop talking to me.
But, other time, I have *almost* as much emotion as most people do. I guess it's maybe...60% of the time I have almost none and 40% of the time I have enough to seem sociable and like I *get* what other people are saying to me.
But, I tell you, sometimes it does feel that way.
Although, I know that I still have them.
I can go for a few months at a time, sometimes, not feeling anything deeply. Everything just feels mechanical. It's hard to relate to people when I go on *computer* mode, but I can still relate to the to the people I know well. I may talk less and withdraw a little more, it's just because I don't have much to say. I still enjoy their company. I'm still upbeat, and friendly enough. I forget a lot of things and ask stupid questions because I have no idea what people are talking about but, I don't get depressed or anything.
The upside is that I'm almost never sad.
It's easy to misunderstand people and get into altercations that you don't even realize you're having when your emotions disappear. I misread people, or seem oblivious, and then they get mad or just stop talking to me.
But, other time, I have *almost* as much emotion as most people do. I guess it's maybe...60% of the time I have almost none and 40% of the time I have enough to seem sociable and like I *get* what other people are saying to me.
Wow. This is how it is with me and a few people thought I was "Bipolar". For many years I never could pin down what this fluctuating phenomenon was.
ToM isn't processed on these down turns --and these vacillations hampered any dating prospects. On this side of the coin ADHD is a curse as this is a dehumanizing condition that wrests control over your control, all the while being acutely conscious of this.
When all these things cluster/ conglomerate at any given point, you're talking a major "cluster ________".
I actually was diagnosed as bipolar once, and then I guess they changed their minds.
I didn't agree with it anyway, but I wasn't going to argue.
I don't get the lows, really. I honestly think that I only feel *true* sadness, maybe, a few times each year. And it goes away quickly.
And the rest of the time, I can seem a little manic, but I never do anything outrageous. And it's not like I can't control it, I'm just spazzy because I want to be.
But yea, definitely true about the TOM when you aren't feeling anything. I never really thought about it before, but, it's just very hard to gauge what anyone else could be feeling when YOU feel nothing. I still try to be as friendly as possible but sometimes seem antagonistic or just *out there*.
I disagree because sometimes I dont feel anything, but I still know that I have to play "Im sorry" (as an example), and I play because "I know it is the right thing to do/I know how I affect the people watching if it gets obvious that I dont feel anything". So I still have ToM, but no emotion = if I dont feel anything I still have no problems knowing what other people think/feel.
Well, this is the executive dysfunction of ADHD, and it's hit or miss in this cognition. At its worst you just can't predict or "gauge" ToM well, and it might hit you later what you said was out of line, thus a "real time " processing lag.
You lose the awareness of 'the other mind', of how they would feel; you "lose" their emotional model.
That's the nuts and bolts of this phenomenon, as I experience this.
I disagree again because I understand very well what is the right thing to do. I have a good ToM. It can just sometimes be superfluous BS which slows us down. It can be extra problems (of other people) which become my problems because Im forced to behave accordingly not to make trouble for somebody. People can get crushed if Im myself (even if I dont do anything out of hate) and so I have to view them as very needing and therefore dependent and therefore no leaders and therefore followers. Call it what you want, even if you describe it with "lack of something" or "an impairment" I think it is the opposite. But whatever you call it, I know I have an above average ToM.
Nobody said your TOM was impaired.
Did they?
I didn't look through all of the replies that carefully but I don't think they did lol.
We said that OURS is.
I knew mine was, even before I knew anything about TOM.
It isn't the same for everyone.
What about this phrase?:
Mdyar wrote:
You lose the awareness of 'the other mind', of how they would feel; you "lose" their emotional model.
Maybe you should use "Me" instead of "You", so that you speak for yourself?
He quoted me.
So he was talking...to...me.
Even if he weren't I don't get why you would take it so personally. Lots of people on the spectrum are this way, others aren't.
Relax, Im not taking it personally, Im just telling my point.
"cries" ...
if you have no ToM you shouldnt play with it. Its ridiculous.
I'm not seeing "cries". I'm seeing "arguing", with a slight possibility of tear-filled anger.
Oh, and I just looked at the image file name: "Are you serious FEMA". Yep, I guess I'm right.
I have never heard of fema.
Neither have I. I think the word "female" was probably shortened in the image name.
Quote:
The point is why a person has the urge to post it. The persons affection is too obvious by posting a directly adressed picture.
Oh, you were mirroring her likely emotions? Lol. I usually use asterisks to denote an action, so I presumed you were titling something like what the pictured person was doing.
07 Aug 2011, 6:57 pm
[cuts out the ridiculously long quote story]
swbluto wrote:
Neither have I. I think the word "female" was probably shortened in the image name.
Quote:
The point is why a person has the urge to post it. The persons affection is too obvious by posting a directly adressed picture.
Oh, you were mirroring her likely emotions? Lol. I usually use asterisks to denote an action, so I presumed you were titling something like what the pictured person was doing.
No comprendre
I really dont understand your sentence, its not my main language but that should be obvious by this time.
I understood the picture as a directed response to me, whereas the effect was supposed to be offensive. I have many different solutions to how the person who posted it meant it to be more spesifically understood and therefore many different solutions to which reasons the person could have for posting it. Because of the overlying (because of the offensiveness) effort of posting it and because there is no clear message but offensiveness, the main thing I received was frustration or aggression from someone, which I can say with ca. 99% certainty. The other 1% goes to the solutions that the person is not affected, but convinced about one solution which only he/she can know, but which would involve that the person lack ToM to 100%, because he/she only focuses on 1 solution which is his/her own and only perception. Within the last 1% could the person have an anti social personality trait and the reason behind posting it was to see my reaction. In this case it would probably have been especially entertaining if I would happen to be a feminist.
The above text reveals how it affected me. I cant stop studying human nature if I wanted to, and in the end I love you all.
The use of "lol" is also revealing a whole deal... How you mean it will be vs. how I see it whatsoever, but the tactic is speaking for itself.
Last edited by Maje on 07 Aug 2011, 9:36 pm, edited 3 times in total.
07 Aug 2011, 7:00 pm
07 Aug 2011, 7:28 pm
I'm a very low key person when it comes to emotions. Most of the time, I feel happy, but not to happy or excited as a kid would be, and there are times when I am sad, but I don't cry or fall into serious depression. Sure, there are times when my emotions have peaked, but its become very rare after my years and elementary school. Back then I use to be very emotional kid, but I somehow changed into the low key person I am today. 
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