Why do people dislike Aspies?

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KeitaroKun
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11 Aug 2011, 4:53 am

backagain wrote:

I think people don't like me because:
I have stopped doing things for them
It just seems like too much BS to do much of the idiotic socializing/gossiping thing
When people say something that is really wrong, I react, even if I don't say anything, it shows on my face
I care more about being an individual than one of the pack (IMO the biggest thing about me that bugs people)
I have always been really curious and interested in learning, so go in depth about things that many others just learn enough of to get by
(like cooking, maps, collecting all kinds of things, music etc etc)

The biggest reason is there aren't many people I meet that I like!! !! ! I keep realizing just how much of an effort I have to put in to stand being around most people (all people really) and that I resent putting all that effort into something I don't care that much about just because I was trying to get along.

Maybe, someday (I doubt it though) I will meet people who don't seem petty, gossipy, whiny, looking to see what they can get, more interested in feeding their own egos etc

Dang I am pissy aren't I?!?

Naw, dude. I think it's perfectly reasonable to feel that way.

Artros
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11 Aug 2011, 7:47 am

Scandium wrote:

Artros wrote:

Being a teenager isn't exactly good for your PR either. I think most people are afraid of me as well. I mostly get scowls and am treated rudely.

Weird, people keep smiling at me, and I don't know why.

Maybe you're just really cute?

As for the analysing thing, I can go through conversations without thinking if only they're about non-serious subjects. I just literally say the first thing which pops up in my mind. It's a very liberating kind of conversation, and it's a lot of fun to follow such a random train of thought. For example, a couple of weeks ago, when on a musk ox safari, a kid and I came up with this theory how the oxen were just sitting in a hut playing cards or hiding underground. It was lots of fun.

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JohnyJohn
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11 Aug 2011, 9:04 am

Because you live in USA.

jackbus01
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11 Aug 2011, 9:40 am

This is a loaded question. The premise is that Aspies are always disliked but I don't agree that is totally true.
Loaded Question--Wikipedia

A more neutral question might be "Why do some people dislike Apies?"

Since we are on the topic for loaded questions, here are some more:

Why are some people so intolerant of differences, that they can't be more accepting of Aspies?
Why are Aspies so unfairly treated and misjudged?
Why do some insist that Aspies have no empathy, and yet it is clear from the WP forums that this is not the case?
etc.

I could go on and on, but then I would be rambling.

cubedemon6073
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23 Aug 2011, 7:30 am

kfisherx wrote:

dancinonwater wrote:

paperoceans wrote:

What? I'm awesome. Not my problem if some people don't like me. I'm not changing for anyone. And honestly, you shouldn't either.

It's gonna be a long bumpy road and the majority of people are NOT going to like you. Even if I'm quiet, but extremely kind and giving people hated me. It's a lose/lose situation.

That may be your opinion, but i would at least like it if people didn't find me so annoying and all. My motives are not very relevant, i was just asking for yourexperiences.

I am measured as a moderately severe (socially speaking) case of Autistic person. Yet people tend to like me and many even love me.

For me, the secret is to always seek the WIN/WIN in every situation. If you live your life in service to the WIN in other peoples lives you will find the WIN in your own life.

That was very simplistic but just pointing out that being Autistic and being disliked are actually 2 different things and are orthogonal IMHO.

I've come to the same realization myself. By the way, did you read Steven Covey's 7 Habit's of Highly Effective People?

Sparhawke
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23 Aug 2011, 8:57 am

hurtloam wrote:

Arrogance was definately something I had a problem with when I was younger. It took me a long time to realise that people don't actually like being corrected, even if I am right.

So long as people acknowledge I am correct on every topic; however obscure there is no way they can go wrong ~ Sparhawke, 2011

You want to know why people do not like people who are different to them?

I'll sum it up in 3 words...People are as*holes.

kfisherx
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23 Aug 2011, 9:28 am

cubedemon6073 wrote:

kfisherx wrote:

dancinonwater wrote:

paperoceans wrote:

That may be your opinion, but i would at least like it if people didn't find me so annoying and all. My motives are not very relevant, i was just asking for yourexperiences.

I've come to the same realization myself. By the way, did you read Steven Covey's 7 Habit's of Highly Effective People?

Yes. This and many other similar books. I have been working on "me" for a LONG time.

grindmonkey
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23 Aug 2011, 3:48 pm

JohnyJohn wrote:

Because you live in USA.

true, which is probably why NTs get mad us when we correct them. its not our fault you live in idiotsville.

Dnex
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25 Aug 2011, 11:15 am

Having interacted with several other Aspies, a good number of us are just plain annoying TBH.

tomboy4good
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25 Aug 2011, 11:38 am

I think it's because we don't typically conform to others' expectations of what we should be. Most people seem to have a natural ability to fit in, Aspies just don't have this talent. Not saying that we should automatically do whatever is required to belong....but it seems to be my biggest hurdle in life. It's also frustrating to be told "you are annoying/irritating" but nothing is ever said as to why. I am left trying to figure out what I did wrong, but am totally clueless. I also cannot read others' moods, which leads to further issues. I can not correct behavior if people do not point out short comings I am unaware of. :oops: I can however work on skills if I know what I need to change.

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BottleCap
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25 Aug 2011, 12:16 pm

@Thread title: Because we're different, and people don't like different people.

slipacre
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25 Aug 2011, 12:25 pm

several things in the posts above - for me eye contact is bad
I also have an intensity and energy that seems to scare people a bit.
I have worked on certain habits like picking my teeth staring at breasts etc.

tomboy4good
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25 Aug 2011, 12:28 pm

slipacre wrote:

I also have an intensity and energy that seems to scare people a bit.
I have worked on certain habits like picking my teeth staring at breasts etc.

You have brought up some interesting points! I can be very intense. I suppose that can be one of my main problems. Also, if someone has a flaw on their face, I can't help but stare at it. :oops:

My eye is drawn to the flaw even when I do my best to not stare. I suppose that could be disconcerting.

pree10shun
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25 Aug 2011, 12:30 pm

Before I found out I had AS, I found out my cousin had schizo and so did my granpa's brother. I hated both of them with a passion because they got annoying when they had their episodes and I did not understand why they would do that. I was scared of them being different and I did not know how to approach them. After I found out I, my mom and granpa had AS I just knew my schizo relatives wanted to be accepted, but not be intimidating... So I think NTs don't understand us and hence cannot relate to our experiences. They are sometimes indifferent and other times sympathetic but they'll never go through what we go through to understand us.

MagicMeerkat
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25 Aug 2011, 3:43 pm

Fear of the unknown

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Daryl_Blonder
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25 Aug 2011, 8:43 pm

Quite frankly, we have a lot of traits that people find bothersome. All of our good qualities notwithstanding, we're self-absorbed, disagreeable, and aloof to the point of often being antisocial. These traits commonly overpower our good quallities and serve to turn people off, more than the good qualities intrigue them.

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