Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Why do some women suddenly bring up that they have a bf?

Page 4 of 4 [ 55 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Previous topic | Next topic

LostInEmulation
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,047
Location: Ireland, dreaming of Germany

27 Aug 2011, 4:23 am

MarketAndChurch wrote:
because they don't want you to mistaken their nice-ness for interest or attraction. So they set the framework that the interaction will take place in by saying from the onset that they are in a relationship with someone.


Exactly, because (NT) men often cannot distinguish between niceness and attraction by females.


_________________
I am not a native speaker. Please contact me if I made grammatical mistakes in the posting above.

Penguins cannot fly because what cannot fly cannot crash!


Alienboy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 335
Location: The Goldilocks Zone

27 Aug 2011, 2:51 pm

Knifey wrote:
Alienboy wrote:
Once again Knifey I completely understand and agree with your post and I know that in many situations an AS can show subtle signs of being interested in a woman, but in my case there is not even this. I decided next class I will get there super early so that I can get my seat before her so that she maybe realizes that I am sitting there to focus during the lesson and that the reason has nothing to do with her. If she still assumes that I chose that seat knowing that she would sit there(even though the seats are not assigned) then she could just be really delusional. We will see what happens next Monday.
But.... even if seats are unassigned it is normal to want to sit in the same seat. if somebody sat next to the seat i sat in yesterday i would assume they wanted to sit next to me. it's not delusional.

Well then looks like I will have to do one of the following:

1. Get my seat before she arrives and if she is uncomfortable sitting next to me she can go sit somewhere else.

2. Choose to sit at one of the other seats in the front but away from her.

3. If there is no choice but to sit next to her then I guess I will just make it obvious that I'm not interested.



Last edited by Alienboy on 27 Aug 2011, 7:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MarketAndChurch
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,022
Location: The Peoples Republic Of Portland

28 Aug 2011, 12:35 am

LostInEmulation wrote:
MarketAndChurch wrote:
because they don't want you to mistaken their nice-ness for interest or attraction. So they set the framework that the interaction will take place in by saying from the onset that they are in a relationship with someone.


Exactly, because (NT) men often cannot distinguish between niceness and attraction by females.


What about AS men? (not to disagree, I don't know beyond my own experience)


_________________
It is not up to you to finish the task, nor are you free to desist from trying.


Blueskygirl
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 120

28 Aug 2011, 1:39 am

IIt sounds like she was either trying to make a joke or she was being serious. I'm leaning more toward joke though. It depends on how she said it, and if she smirked if she said it.



LostInEmulation
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,047
Location: Ireland, dreaming of Germany

28 Aug 2011, 5:18 am

MarketAndChurch wrote:
LostInEmulation wrote:
MarketAndChurch wrote:
because they don't want you to mistaken their nice-ness for interest or attraction. So they set the framework that the interaction will take place in by saying from the onset that they are in a relationship with someone.


Exactly, because (NT) men often cannot distinguish between niceness and attraction by females.


What about AS men? (not to disagree, I don't know beyond my own experience)


I never read a study about that. But I guess since AS has as one characteristic trait that human behaviour cannot be parsed and understood as easily I suspect that the issue exists there as well. I just thought it is interesting that even those who supposedly CAN parse and understand human behaviour get things wrong as well.


_________________
I am not a native speaker. Please contact me if I made grammatical mistakes in the posting above.

Penguins cannot fly because what cannot fly cannot crash!


Knifey
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 324
Location: South Australia

28 Aug 2011, 9:35 am

LostInEmulation wrote:
MarketAndChurch wrote:
LostInEmulation wrote:
MarketAndChurch wrote:
because they don't want you to mistaken their nice-ness for interest or attraction. So they set the framework that the interaction will take place in by saying from the onset that they are in a relationship with someone.


Exactly, because (NT) men often cannot distinguish between niceness and attraction by females.


What about AS men? (not to disagree, I don't know beyond my own experience)


I never read a study about that. But I guess since AS has as one characteristic trait that human behaviour cannot be parsed and understood as easily I suspect that the issue exists there as well. I just thought it is interesting that even those who supposedly CAN parse and understand human behaviour get things wrong as well.
women are just hard to understand full stop. which is why sometimes they sound overly clumsy and expositional because they are sick of being misinterpreted. like blurting out "i have a boyfriend" when its inappropriate. hehe.


_________________
Four thousand six hundred and ninety one irradiated haggis? Check.


Blueskygirl
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 120

28 Aug 2011, 10:39 am

Alienboy wrote:
Knifey wrote:
Alienboy wrote:
Once again Knifey I completely understand and agree with your post and I know that in many situations an AS can show subtle signs of being interested in a woman, but in my case there is not even this. I decided next class I will get there super early so that I can get my seat before her so that she maybe realizes that I am sitting there to focus during the lesson and that the reason has nothing to do with her. If she still assumes that I chose that seat knowing that she would sit there(even though the seats are not assigned) then she could just be really delusional. We will see what happens next Monday.
But.... even if seats are unassigned it is normal to want to sit in the same seat. if somebody sat next to the seat i sat in yesterday i would assume they wanted to sit next to me. it's not delusional.

Well then looks like I will have to do one of the following:

1. Get my seat before she arrives and if she is uncomfortable sitting next to me she can go sit somewhere else.

2. Choose to sit at one of the other seats in the front but away from her.

3. If there is no choice but to sit next to her then I guess I will just make it obvious that I'm not interested.


I honestly don't think she thinks you're interested, especially if you have not tried to strike a conversation with her or even look at her. I agree with the poster who said that girls often bring up that they have a boyfriend to another boy, so as to let them know so they won't waste their time (just in case the boy is talking to her because he wants to date her). But in this situation, I really don't think this is the case. Students often sit in the same seat they sat in the first day of class...so she's not going to think you're intersted just because you're sitting beside her. In this particular case, it really does sound like she was trying to be funny...and it flopped.