swbluto wrote:
Is this kind of missing someone's intended meaning characteristic of autism? This happens ALL THE TIME with other people, especially "normal" people. I seem to infer more complex meanings than the person intends, and miss the simple, obvious one.
That sums up my experience in conversations nicely.
The symptoms I have come down to making me a bit of a cultural stranger.
I'm trying to understand some what might make you think the way I think you do...
Symptom. This conversation-issue is not a symptom for me if you understand the term "symptom" to mean an object-like phenomenon. I don't consider this manifestation a part of what neurological weirdness makes me have the disorder called autism in 2011. But "it" is one of many manifestations of the human-made social/medical/psychological/philosophical concept "autism" in 2011 - and I happen to have an individualised manifestation of "it".
"It" is a (final) result of a collection of the underlying difference currently called autism, ADHD and I guess it involves other neurological differences that are part of other "disorders" too as well as "normal" neurological differences (normal people are very unique but who gets their body and brain checked for uniqueness if they're called "typical"?), of my experiences, my personality, my other genes and their expressions, my decisions, environmental factors that influence my development by deciding what I learn, what I know...
and all of these happen to mix into an observable symptom of interpreting exchanges such as conversations often more different than others.
It all makes me feel like a stranger. A stranger who - despite growing up with that culture for all my life and therefore I'm not really what most understand the concept called "stranger" to mean - isn't as used as other people in seeing the world through this particular "cultural lens".
This difference and difficulty of mine is not simply about being unable to ever see and ever understand things the same way as others do. I can understand and I can learn, it's just that the collection of lenses that become available to me depending on my potential, my interests, efforts and due to "chance" won't ever be quite as similar as the many ones others have "developed" throughout their lives.
A potential isn't a one-dimensional point you're at and can't get away from. You're not "glued" to it, there is nothing that is "always the same". A person's potential - and this includes their talents and impairments - is a range and a person can or cannot move within that range depending on a great number of factors.
Rather than calling it a "range" I guess I could call it a "spectrum" too. Autism is a spectrum of manifestations as are many other physical and mental disorders. But an autistic person's "autism" is a spectrum in itself too.
"I can be very different from how I can be - and
I am all of that."
Ha, I'm reminded of how I absolutely hate words, I'm not as good with using them as I'd like to be.
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Autism + ADHD
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett