Being an Aspie is the worst

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please tell me you're not seriously trying to compare Autism to Schizophrenia.

First of all, everyone is different. Even Aspies/Auties. While some might be in their own word, others might be trying their hardest to make it in the rest of the world.

Second, Aspergers is not, and will never be, a form of depression. All it is is a neurological difference that affects the way we think and learn. There is clinical depression, and bipolar, but Aspergers doesn't fit in that boundary. There is a strong possibility that someone can have more than one neurological disorder.

Who cares about other peoples lives? It will never be your situation, so why bother worrying about it, or comparing yourself to them. As I got older, I found out that it is best to deal with my own problems exclusively. We live in a different world than normal everyday folk, so it is best to concentrate on immediate issues and problems.

OP, why don't you stop whining about your problems and actually do something to better yourself? I've been where you are, and whining about being autistic isn't going to help you dude, sorry. This sort of stuff is for the haven anyway, you'll find a sympathetic ear there, but not here. There are plenty of normal people who are worse off than you. You've got a disability, you're autistic, so what?! Get up off your ass and grab the world by the balls, and tell it that its time for some payback for once!

It appears Wrong Planet is indeed on its way back from the "victim" mentality that had discouraged me from coming for quite a while.

Glad to see I came back at a good time

I'm only one person really. This victim mentality is what is causing so many aspies to be depressed. If they stopped viewing themselves as "victims" and "sufferers" of AS, then we would find an awful lot more happy aspies around here. And I want that, for people to be happy.

As of late I seem to see a lot more people hear offering more positive attitudes than when I last departed for a very long time.



I'm glad I'm not the only one here trying to motivate people.

No one ever said you could guarantee to get thru, but I appreciate the assistance.


No I fully agree. The thing is, it's not just about feeling sorry for themselves; it's this assumption that they guaranteed would be better off if not Autistic.


I know they want to believe it; I know the NT world markets it all the time.

And to that, my question is this simply: if their way is so damn good, shouldn't it speak for itself, without attempting to pressure us and ostracize us?

I think many people(outcasts,antisocial etc...) don't have anything but are fake aspies that is why many say it is a made up disorder.

My totally NT sister talked just like you do at that age. She had a vision of what her life "should be" and it wasn't there, so she was looking at all the people living that life and feeling left out. I finally pointed out to her that she *said* she wanted all these things, but she simply wasn't doing the things that got what she said she wanted. And, again, definitely no Aspergers here -- she's as NT as NT gets. But while she *said* she wanted to get married, and had even moved halfway across the country to be closer to a guy who she was interested in who seemed interested, once she got there she wouldn't give him any time! She was too busy doing all the stuff she wanted to do, and then was outraged when the guy introduced her to his fiance.

She did the "nobody wants me because I'm not beautiful" routine, but I pointed out that when the guy had said he was interested in settling down, and she'd told him she wasn't going to get married until she'd spent a year overseas -- and she wasn't even working toward getting overseas yet! In other words, she shot him down first, but she hadn't seen it that way.

My sister still doesn't have the snazzy career, she never got married, never got any of the stuff she was complaining about, but now she's happy. Why? Because she realized that the dream she was aiming for was designed for someone else, not her, and that, even if she'd had all that stuff, she wouldn't be happy because it wasn't what she really wanted.

It's not Aspergers holding you back from what you "deserve" or "ought to be." It's the fact that you weren't designed for what society is trying to get you to do. But that doesn't mean you can't be perfectly happy, if you quit trying to accomplish what society tells you and figure out what works best for you.

Remember that society is just other people acting in their own interest -- social pressure is just the powerful either trying to get their way, or trying to convince you they're better than you are (i.e., using you to feel better about themselves). There are plenty of people who conform to society's demands and get that success they're expected to accomplish who then sit back and go, "Wait, this is it? All that work for nothing?" You need to find a way to value what truly matters, and what will satisfy you, instead of just valuing stuff because everyone tells you it's important. Once you figure out what truly matters and will satisfy you, bet money it'll be things you can accomplish, because we are all pleased by meaningful accomplishments. It isn't the accomplishments you're incapable of (you're here, communicating, which means you've learned to communicate and can use the Internet), it's the fact that you've been taught that what you can accomplish is meaningless (or you -- and the people around you -- don't realize what you can accomplish once you follow what matters to you that doesn't matter to others).

I would be able to do this, if there wasn't NTs around me criticising me that I should do this and I should do that, and if I don't I'm weird and unsociable. It is very upsetting.

You're hanging out with the wrong people. Seriously. I was around your age when I found the first group I've been in that either didn't criticize people for being a bit different or whose criteria for "normal" was broad enough to fit me (a media science fiction club, if you're curious), and while I'm no longer with that group (or in that state), I've found another group that totally accepts me even though I am definitely NOT what they consider "normal" or "typical" (a church congregation). The first group accepted me because their philosophy was pretty much "Why be normal?" The current group accepts me because they believe who you are and who you are called to be are between you and God, and it isn't the business of other people to straighten you out or to challenge you unless you're in grave sin that would be harming others. Nothing about being autistic fits their category of "grave sin" or "harming others," so it's all good.

Our culture likes to do the "it's not them, it's you" routine, but sometimes it really is "them." If people are intolerant, that's their problem and their failure. Admittedly they can make it your problem, but hang onto the fact that it's not your problem and definitely not your failure if you're different (in a non-harmful way) and they don't accept you. I've gone long periods of my life when everyone I knew was down on me, but I also know there are groups out there that don't demand such lock-step conformity, and once you know that I think it's easier to hang in there until you find a group that's tolerant. And of course knowing it first hand makes it easier than having someone tell you about it, but for what it's worth, the fact that no one right now shows you tolerance doesn't mean that's the way it'll be forever.

Asperger's is not a disability that people really care about. That's what's been the big problem for me and alot of people here I think. When people think AS, they think BS or at least alot of people do. Or they'll pretend to know what AS is but wouldn't recognize it for the life of them when the symptoms actually show. It's people who think they know AS better than the people who actually have it that only make our problems worst.

You're definitely not around good people. If they can't let you be you, they need to eff off. You are you and you deserve to feel good about who you are.

Twich, ScientistofSound, and Shilohmm, I adore you folks!


Keep up the great work!


I so wish there were a like button for everything you folks have to say

Well sometimes I haven't got the choice to pick who I want to be around. I'm s**t at making friends so I get whoever I get, (beggers can't be choosers, you know), and I have to start work soon and I'm sure I'm not going to be working with people who are going to be 100 percent understanding and tolerant of my slow-witted weirdness.
I can't just go around avoiding people, unless I hide away in the cupboard forever and not have any interaction with anybody - that wouldn't help at all. Most people I know do like me and they look past my stupidness and just see me as a nice person and friend, but I will always come across people who aren't very tolerant, and only look out for number one, or other popular people. Sometimes even relatives, like siblings, get onto me. My brothers did when I was at school because of not having any friends (when I really did want friends desperately but nobody would be my friend because they were too embarrassed to be seen hanging out with me, or I was too boring).
I can't escape people. Plus the bastard of the government is pushing more and more pressure onto the unemployed British people, expecting them to get the first job they see, and doesn't matter about their skills and confidence. And I can't get any incapacity benefits because I've been told I am ''not disabled enough'', but yet I am not ''normal'' enough to get along socially in a work environment. It's a vicious circle. And people expect me to like having AS? It's OK if you're severe enough to get the right help, or if you're a genius, or if you've got confidence, or if you're just an average NT, but I'm neither of those. I sit on the line between AS and NT, and that's where it's hard because I'm expected to live in the real world and get a life out there in the NT world and deal with my own problems without any help and support (except from my parents, who are doing the best they can, but they won't be around forever because they are obviously much older than me).

I think everyone goes through a stage of 'self defeat' when they get a diagnosis of AS, especially if it is later in life. I got to about 18 without even slightly worrying about my future then suddenly I thought 'I'm never going to have what everyone else has'. I spent about two years with depression after that. I would say it is highly likely you have depression as a co-morbid if you feel like this a lot.

When I got to 22 years old, I started to finally accept things. Yes I have Asperger syndrome, Tourette syndrome, ADHD, OCD and depression, but there is a human underneath all these labels! I stopped trying to be someone I wasn't. I accepted I might never have a massive circle of frineds, a house, a car, a job. I have accepted that I will need some level of support for my entire life. The people on here aren't delusional. We have all had moments of feeling down, the people here have accepted or even embraced their Aspergers. For every negative in your life, try to find a positive. It is REALLY hard to start with and I know because I was really in a pit of despair. For me, the first way I felt happy was when I stared at my eyes in the mirror thinking 'actually I have beautiful eyes!' Okay so most people don't get to look into them but that is a positive. I can draw buildings. Not going to get me a job, but still good. Now I am starting to see more and more positive things about myself.

Also things could be worse. I hate it when people say this to me sometimes, but they are right. You are not dying of terminal illness, you can walk (I am assuming here...) and trust me, co-morbid Tourettes is like a really bad mess! Be thankful you can walk down a street without having to touch your toes every few footsteps, spin, touch every lamp post, scream at random times and various other bizarre things!

Chin up mate (but don't literally put your chin up like I do!)