Suicidal on here

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I hate being me but I have a phobia of death, and I know that my family loves me so much that they would be absolutely devastated if I did a stupid thing like that. I know I wouldn't be around to see them feel that way but it's still an awful thought while you're still alive to think of all the people who you'll leave behind, who love and care for you. I should be thankful I have a family around me who loves and cares about me.

It's just that sometimes I feel that I can't go on much longer being an Aspie. I don't know why, but I feel that it's such a bad thing. I feel that it's my fault people laugh at me, because they carry on their normal social lives, and I'm just left feeling hurt all the time. People say ''oh that person can't of been a nice person in the first place if they suddenly turned like that on you'', but I think, ''no hold on a minute - they have other friends they seem to keep, so they must be likeable in some way, and so it must just be me.''

It is very depressing.

@JohnyJohn
Is that supposed to be a picture of hell? Are you implying that people who commit suicide go to "hell"? If so than I am deeply offended. People who commit suicide are often mentally ill including myself. I don't think what people perceive as "god" would send sick people to hell I sure don't believe in something like that. People who commit suicide are often innocent decent people who've experienced a great deal of pain on this earth if your "god" is all loving he'd embrace them in"heaven". Then again that's why I'm not completely tied down to any religion.

I get depressed, but I've never felt suicidal.

I've met people who have literally told me that depression is a sin because it arises from lack of faith in God (and all Atheists are therefore depressed and going to Hell and blah ... blah ... blah ...), and that if I did not snap out of it before I died I would go straight to Hell, as well.

So much for Christian compassion.

I felt depressed for much of 40 years, but I've felt a lot better this past year since I got a diagnosis. I think that the self-examination that I did had some benefits, and I also credit having highly intelligent and compassionate friends who took an interest in me and shared their insights.

I wonder how I would have lived differently if I had a diagnosis sooner, but the world had different values in the 80's, so I find it hard to assess.

I came close to attempting suicide, but I realized that I actually just needed to relax and care less. I thought that taking a bunch of herbal relaxation pills would help ease my transition to the next world, but they just made me relax and I didn't follow through with the second part of my plan. Don't trust any thoughts that you have while holding your breath, or forcing it. Check it if you doubt me.

Look,God is indeed Loving,humans are not that's why they will experience hell,those who will.I am not saying anybody who commited suicide went to hell,but if someone thinks,-and believes-,i will suicide and then God will forgive me so i will go to heaven and escape the hell in earth,is deeply deceived.Also only unbelievers are mostly suicidal and i wanted for them to show this picture.

Any Christians reading this thread who have experienced suicidal thoughts are going to feel stigmatised by these threats of going to hell. I am not a Christian, but I do have family members who are Christians and some of them have had depression. I think it is better to help suicidal people with compassion and understanding than with threats of eternal damnation.

Here is a Christian forum for people with depression if anyone feels the need for fellowship: http://www.christianforums.com/f393/

Good luck man with your beliefs, I'm sure your god loves ya.