Abused by those with BPD

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fraac
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24 Dec 2011, 4:25 pm

There is nothing wrong with anyone's neurotransmitters. You are what you need to be. Distort the image of that and you lose yourself, become ill.

TM: I try to save psychopaths with love and their damage is way more hardwired than bpd. It means I may have to kill them to save them. I haven't met anyone I couldn't deal with though.

Mdyar
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25 Dec 2011, 2:45 am

fraac wrote:

You "are" or are actualized at the very end those transmitters, fraac. You decide or make choices on a preconscious level, i.e you become conscious that you have decided. Once I'm boosted out of an ADD slump via a stimulant, different choices suddenly emerge.

The distorted image is from a distorted chemical messenger. The conscious thought to change this does nothing.

There is nothing there about us that suggests we are more than mannequins jerking about at the end of those chemical strings.

opal
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25 Dec 2011, 2:50 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Tambourine-Man wrote:

fraac wrote:

I'm sure most of them don't do it deliberately.

Anyone can be cured with love. That's literally all it takes. Not 'medicine'. Buying into a system that says you need pills to make you better makes you a victim and means you'll never be totally well.

Ha ha. Cute. I guess you haven't had much experience with BPD individuals. There is NEVER enough love to go around for someone with BPD. Any attention paid towards someone else, any generous thing done for someone else, every single comment or action, is interpreted as a personal attack.

Living with someone with BPD makes you feel terrified, angry, empty, guilty, and hopeless ALL the time.

This is a very serious disorder. Good luck curing it with love. There isn't enough love in the world.

Well based on this line of reasoning we should just seperate them all from society because there is no hope anyone with this disorder can ever have any quality of life.... :roll:

They can - Just at everyone else's expense

EXPECIALLY
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25 Dec 2011, 2:53 am

yayjess wrote:

I think they are attracted to us for some reason. Perhaps very vague similarities mixed with extreme opposites.

X100000000000000000000000000

I have thought about this in the past and camwe to the exact same conclusion.

Verdandi
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25 Dec 2011, 3:08 am

fraac wrote:

There is nothing wrong with anyone's neurotransmitters. You are what you need to be. Distort the image of that and you lose yourself, become ill.

If had ever tried to follow such a belief, I would have killed myself or abandoned the belief by now. Because in so doing, I would have lost myself.

I can accept that not everyone needs the same things I do. The medications I take don't work the same way for everyone. But they do work for me.

Sweetleaf
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25 Dec 2011, 3:43 am

opal wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Tambourine-Man wrote:

fraac wrote:

Well based on this line of reasoning we should just seperate them all from society because there is no hope anyone with this disorder can ever have any quality of life.... :roll:

They can - Just at everyone else's expense

Yes that would be the general stigma attatched to that disorder.....even some mental health professionals feel that way about them. It amazes me how people totally disregard how that disorder might also effect the individual who has it.

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Verdandi
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25 Dec 2011, 4:37 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Plus, not everyone who has BPD ends up abusing anyone. Plus the cognitive dissonance in accepting that someone has a disorder that affects their behavior in certain ways, but when they do behave in those ways, they're treated as if the behavior were intentional.

Plus, could always point to the "SOAP" threads someone started recently or the whole "Cassandra Affective Disorder" thing that paints autistic people as innately abusive.

The nature of BPD is such that people who encounter someone who does have BPD are likely to have negative, emotionally turbulent experiences. It's not guaranteed, but it's likely. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that, but where does the distinction fall between "this person harmed me" and "a disorder harmed me?"

fraac
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25 Dec 2011, 5:49 am

Mdyar wrote:

fraac wrote:

Good point.

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25 Dec 2011, 5:56 am

Mdyar wrote:

I like this explanation.

Sora
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25 Dec 2011, 6:07 am

I had a wonderful friend with BPD who did her best to be a kind and open person.

She was extremely empathic and despite her horrifying struggles (those consuming feelings of loneliness and how the emotions changed were very distressing for her) she tried hard to be a nice, considerate person.

Even I noticed (despite my ASD) that it was often hard for her but she said that she wanted to help people and that is why she wanted to listen to their problems and not reject anyone for being "not normal" or having a difficult time.

A beautiful person (metaphorically) and BPD didn't make her any bad or horrible or stuff.

Just saying it's possible because there's a lot more than just autism and BPD to two people.

There are people who don't feel they need to try to be kind to others despite that they're not "normal" and being socially inappropriate is hard for them. There are people who don't think they need to be motivated to overcome their impairments/try to get along with the world.

There are people like that with BPD but there are also people like that with plain AS or other forms of autism.

I've had the awful time with one young man who was considered "verbally gifted" and "highly intelligent", "awkward" but "unique" who had a lot of stimming, intense interests, was overly polite (to others) to veil his lacking social skills and he had the "little professor" thing going on.

He bullied me badly for what my autism is like. A total idiot and his autism didn't prevent him to be an idiot.

Edit: truth to be told, I didn't read past the 1st page because I wanted to say this but I am forced to attend a Christmas event right now.

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Tambourine-Man
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25 Dec 2011, 2:45 pm

Oh, but incidentally, fraac is right. There is no magic pill for BPD... period. Dialectical behavioral therapy is supposed to work well though. BPD can be successfully treated but it takes a great deal of patience and effort.

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kx250rider
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25 Dec 2011, 4:26 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

All I am saying is I think its wrong to say anyone with a certain mental disorder is a bad person due to the symptoms of the mental disorder. Obviously this personality disorder does cause problems for the people around the person with the disorder, but it also causes a lot of problems and pain for the person who has it......which needs to be taken into account. Not to mention due to all the stigma surrounding BPD how would someone feel if they were diagnosed as such? probably not to good about themself.

I am going to stick with my idea that individuals with BPD are just that individuals with BPD. Also just out of curiosity which type of abuse are we referring to?......not being able to regulate your emotions and thus possibly hurting peoples feelings or disturbing them is not what I would classify as intentional 'abuse'.........is it abuse if an autistic child for instance has a meltdown and someone gets too close and ends up getting hurt because of the nature of the meltdown?

On that I completely agree. I didn't mean to state that those with BPD are bad people; it's just that the effect on those around them is the same as if they bad people and not BPD but were just plain abusive. Abuse on the bystander feels exactly the same as whether coming unintentionally from a BPD person, or a nasty normal person without BPD. An analogy would be comparing a kleptomaniac to a street thief: The kleptomaniac cannot help stealing, and doesn't see it as stealing. They may be millionaires, and steal anyway, and may be prosecuted, and steal while in jail. But the common thief, steals for gain and without regard for morals and civilized society. The kleptomaniac is not a bad person at all; just mentally ill and does the same thing as the bad person (street thief).

Charles

fraac
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25 Dec 2011, 4:39 pm

Bpds high-functioning enough to be undiagnosed are the funnest people you'll ever meet.

edit: sweet, I get a doubleclick define on 'funnest'. It's officially a word y'all.

aspi-rant
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25 Dec 2011, 5:39 pm

i lost mostly everything a year and a half ago, after been abused for three years by a BPD woman, who pretended to be an aspie.

it took me more than a year before i could see clearly what happened to us. professional people told me not to blame myself for not seeing it before… they admitted to me that even they had a hard time recognizing her scam.

no wonder an aspie like me couldn't.

it is so sad to find out that BPD people so often prey on the naivety of people like us.

fraac
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25 Dec 2011, 5:42 pm

I despise victims. Blaming other people is not cool. Distortion of reality. Losers lose, that's just nature.

aspi-rant
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25 Dec 2011, 5:47 pm

fraac wrote:

I despise victims. Blaming other people is not cool. Distortion of reality. Losers lose, that's just nature.

good for you.

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