How important are relationships to you?

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I wanted one because it seemed like the norm, then I wanted one because I wanted to have kids and I didn't want to be a single mother. Sex was never important to me. It was only meant for to have kids. I have been through stages where I wanted to have it just to get try it and then wanting to have it just because like most people, that same reason why they have it. But I had to look for the right person.

For about six months now I've been wondering why people bother with relationships. Sex doesn't interest me, and I didn't see what else a romantic relationship offered that a good friendship with that person wouldn't offer.

A few weeks ago, I saw two of my friends, who I introduced to each other and are now dating (which makes me Eros ) sitting together and cuddling and kissing and generally seeming happy. THAT is what one gets out of a relationship.

Thing is, the vast majority of girls I know could never make me feel like that, and those that could are inaccessible or off limits.

It is THE most important thing for me. And my biggest frustration. I have a lot of personal space issues, I guess more to do with my physical surroundings than emotional space or time-space. I need my environment to be a certain way.

The only real relationships I've had, have been long distance and mostly short-lived. Those do not work out in the long run because too much is at stake when one person has to move a long way to be with the other.

I don't know if I can live with someone. I've always had my own space, except in college when I had roommates and I could not handle that. So I don't know if I can handle living with a partner. But I really want that and I never stop wanting it.

I like being alone sometimes, I do need time alone, but not ALL the time. I don't like living alone and I can't stand the thought of living this way the rest of my life, the days stretching themselves out endlessly with no one else there. It's terrifying. I don't need friends, I don't want a lot of people in my life, I just want a partner.

My life has been the exact opposite.

I understand feelings / standpoints that being alone is good sometimes vs. being in a relationship, having enough alone time when in a relationship is a must, handling a romantic relationship can be more than difficult for autistics, having sex and being in a relationship not always comes together, and I'm acquainted with that "envy" feeling even though most of it is irrational (and I feel the shame of having it, too). However, I don't understand how longing (and actively seeking, which is not that much different) for a relationship when not in one is hard to imagine.

Of course there's a push from parents because some of them naturally see bringing up children is an investment and for the same reason they expect their offspring to do the same. In other words, I respect them for what they have given to me (lent, in a sense). It's a special kind of loan. Most of it one is expected to pay back towards their grandsons / granddaughters... I don't think it's a matter of "looking down" if you can't, though.

The problem I have from past relationships is that I have been burned out to a significant degree due to hurt feelings. I don't know yet how to fix it. My first (and only significant) romantic relationship happened when I was already 36. It seems that I'm equipped with only very limited resources to cope.

As others pointed it out, being in a romantic relationship means to be usually closer than in any friendship. I've seen it can be good and desirable (doing together shopping, cooking, hiking, talking, walking, having meal). I dream of someone who could accept me for who I am. I would love her with all my heart. In real life, however, trade-offs are more common.

I admit that I want children more than a (romantic) relationship. What I'd like equally well is having a mate, who is more equal than different. I understand that it is not likely to happen.

Due to being an overgrown child myself (or having pre-parental feelings?) I like children / kids (not toddlers). Having children would be great, I think, despite the obvious difficulties. But without someone... How?

I don't understand. Are you saying you've had good luck?



I never wanted, nor liked children, till I was in a relationship. I definitely could not imagine having them without a partner; I'd find it difficult to cope with all my various problems.

I would like to be in a romantic relationship but I don't really expect to ever be in one. If I accept the fact that finding a partner is unlikely, I can do without ever being in a romantic relationship. I like being around people and I think it would be a great experience to share aspects of you life with someone else. Life can get dull and lonely sometimes. I just don't want to look for a romantic relationship because I'm afraid that I'll feel bitter in 10-20 years when everyone I know is married while I've never had anything near a relationship. Most guys who have even showed any interest in me are scared off once they get to know me. Go figure. I see friendship as more important that romantic relationships. It is nice to have good friends who you can trust and be able to spend time with. Friendships also is a lot less stressful than being in a romantic relationship.

I did not initially realize this thread was referring specifically to romantic relationships.

Relationships, in general, are of moderate importance to me, but at this point in my life, a romantic relationship is NOT a priority. Once I can manage a steady income to support a family, then bring on the ladies.

Generally, yes. I've experienced obstacles, life wasn't easy to me (and still isn't), but everything has turned out well so far, except romantic relationships / family.


For a man in Hungary it is next to impossible to have children and not being in a relationship, preferably in marriage. Women taking the children when divorced / broke up doesn't count as one IMO, and in 95% of cases this would happen. It's cruel that men are often excluded from the lives of their children.

I didn't like children too much either, I only gradually learned to like them, and now at 38 I really do.

One reason I'd like to have a family is that then I could try to make them happy the way I've always imagined the best. My closest relatives at children's age are the sons / daughters of my cousins. Even my sister is incapable of having a family, it's so sad.