Am I being unreasonable expecting him to get a job?

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It sounds to me like you are exaggerating his "attack". Grabbing someone's arm and leg, and dragging them off a chair, is not "throwing" them on the floor. He dragged you off the chair and you want to make a bigger deal out of it, and demonize him just to support your argument. This itself is also evidenced by you snooping through his diary, you want to find fault with him to help you build a case against him and justify your anger.

Yeah, he should probably get a job, but you should probably stop lying and sneaking around behind his back.

Have you even asked him what his problem is, instead of simply using your sleuthing skills and the internet to try to decide that for him?

physical violence is physical violence, Invader. exaggerated or not, he assaulted her.

Asperger's or not, he sounds abusive.