How does eye contact make you feel?

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I have a very hard time making eye contact with just about anyone, even someone I am close to. I've had therapy for years to correct this and it is slowly getting better, but it is still hard regardless. Sometimes it helps if there is no body else in the room except the person I am talking/listening to.

Uncomfortable. It's almost like somebody's shined a flashlight in my eyes for a moment, although not quite. It's the closest comparison I can think of though. It's like other peoples' eyes are just too intense. I can make some eye contact with my mother though, and sometimes make myself look at peoples' eyes during a conversation so I don't seem rude. Mostly though I just look at their mouth, neck or just to the side of their face.

I don't like it...I feel like I'm being interrogated, like I'm on NYPD Blue or something, and the other person is trying to win the stareout to prove I'm guilty.

I'm not really sure what to do with eye contact, so I guess it makes me anxious. Since reading about asperger's, I find I am able to be much more comfortable talking to people if I just accept this general difficulty (because often people do try to force eye contact during conversation, or if they are explaining something to you, and maybe trying to just deal with that made me more socially anxious). If I'm staring at the nearby wall or another object during the conversation, this is because I am focusing on processing what the person is saying (i.e. actually listening), although I do try to make some eye contact if it's more important to make social contact that to hear everything.

It makes me feel awkward all the time, because one doesn't know how much of it or how little is right social etiquette.

Fidgety and embarrassed when I'm unable to come back with a quick response.

I hate it when people say "look at me when Im talking to you"

I do it. It just doesn't feel natural.

I like to think it's quite flexible.
Some people talk to you without looking at you, so if they listen without looking, you don't think it's so rude.
Others stare at you, some even lean in and stare which is a bit creepy and probably not socially correct, but others just have to deal with it. They might complain but I don't think the starer needs to change their ways if they can't converse without doing so, just as aspies don't really need to change if it's actually that helpful in so many ways.
It's nice to meet somewhere in the middle, but I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I either stare or don't look at the person enough, but I think they get used to it. They may even pick up that if I'm looking at them sometimes I pick up on less of what they're saying. *shrugs*


As I said in my earlier post, I think employing other tricks to show you're listening when not looking helps, like saying yes, or humming (humming can be done while they're still talking so it's much easier, and by what I can tell, timing doesn't even seem to be too important) and nodding slowly can indicate deep concentration on what they're saying. As long as you throw little cues in that you're listening it can help.
Especially if you're looking somewhere like you're hands, rather than someone behind you...

I haven't analysed all of my feelings in connection with it., but...
I learned to make some eye contact when I was around 30 yrs old, but even now, when I see someone at work, I'll make eye contact for a second or two (like when I say "hi") and then my eyes just automatically look down at the floor.

Sometimes when they say "hi" back or start a conversation, I'm still looking at the floor, and my body is already walking away.

But then there are some people who I've learned to talk with and feel a bit more comfortable with, and with those people I can maintain eye contact for a little longer (a few to several seconds continuously), but during a conversation, my eyes still drift away. Some people make me feel like they're looking through me and can see my soul - I don't like that at all.

people say to keep eye contact with people while talking so I have a system where i look in their eyes for 3 seconds then look away for 7 seconds and repeat this untill the conversation is over.

I dont mind eye contact with close friends or close family though.

If I know the person and I like them its ok. If not it's uncomfortable. I try to force myself to do it anyway even though it feels unnatural. My therapist seems to think it's because I have have low self-esteem but I think has to be at least partially related to NVLD.

I worked out I tend to percieve eye contact as related to dominance and aggression although there isnt really a logical reason for that. I then did some research and found out that scientists think people with ASDs percieve eye contact as a threat, as it is shown to trigger a threat response from the amagdala. I dont like eye contact but have become more aware of trying to do it. Someone I talked to often pointed out that I never made eye contact with her, still cant bring myself to but Im making more of an effort with other people and trying to relax more when in eye contact with others.

I find it impossible to make eye contact apart from my parents for no more than a couple of seconds

Cats are like that too.

I'm not sure why some people are so bothered if they're not having someone stare into their eyes as they discuss something boring like how s**t the weather is though. =/

It makes me very uncomfortable physically, except with my wife.