Anyone emotionally abused growing up?

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I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents and the public school system. It became really severe in second grade. It started around preschool, when my differences became more open and easier to see. It varied over the years.
The abuse included:
-Being locked up in a small room, this room would have a bed and a chair and schoolwork
-Being beaten for entertaining myself,
-Being beaten for being "disrespectful" which could amount to refusing to talk to an authority who accused me of something or not making eye contact with an authority.
-Being used as a scapegoat for disciplinary actions by my school in order to improve school statistics
-Being forced to sit in the uncomfortable chair in my small room for hours on end after school to wait for my father to come home and beat me.
-Being caught leaving the chair prior to punishment meant extended beatings
-Beatings normally used a spatula. Sometimes other household items would be used. Sometimes multiple items would be used. This includes ladles and belts.
-having objects that I cherished being destroyed in front of me.
-reacting to cherished objects being destroyed would result in beatings
-having my schoolwork confiscated and destroyed by teachers
-having school supplies confiscated by teachers when required for an assignment
-if I refused to do something my mother wanted, she would cry and say I didn't love her, and then if still refused, I would be beaten for not loving her.
-nowadays, the "if you love" threat has been replaced by the "why are you punishing us" threat.
-all my communications monitored and severely limited. My parents required me to give them all my passwords used online and would routinely log in and observe everything I did on those sites.
-they used my online accounts to break up several friendships that formed at school.
-plenty of threats from being kicked out of the house (at very early ages), to holding finances, friends, and even sleep over my head as threats.
-they said that if I leaved the house (or was kicked out) they would call the cops on me and get me locked up.
-my father would become a teacher, my teacher, and use grades as a threat... and that also messed with relationships in highschool
-manipulated me using threats into performing dangerous activies, including filling up the car with gas at the local gas station during a hurricane.
-forced manual labour, including things like mixing cement, sifting sand, etc.

I've been emotionally abused before I've been called b***h brat stupid ret*d animal worthless ect. It is bothered me for years I love my grandmother but sometimes she can be mean.

Most of the emotional abuse that happened to me ended when I began my HS years.

-In 5th grade, I was forced onto the basketball team because my teacher at the time thought I was a misfit and that playing basketball would help me improve my interactions with other classmates. He later proved to be a d**k because he told my teammates to make fun of me whenever I tried to make a 3-pointer.

-My MS years were even worse than my grade school years because I was bullied by everyone almost every single day. A few times, a teacher {who was from Russia} sent me to the principal's office whenever I showed up to class late all beaten up. The same teacher also viewed me going to special ed as another reason for sending me to the principal's office, even if I had a note from the special ed teacher.

-Whenever I saw a friend who I don't see anymore, my mother would get very angry and go on marathon yelling sessions, telling me that I'm not allowed to have friends. She sometimes still says this whenever I try to find myself a GF.

It seems a lot of people have faced institutionalized abuse at school

I've been through a lot of crap, thinking about it now.

My home environment was toxic; both of my folks are ex-Army, my father a former Green Beret. He had seen some God-awful things while in the service, which I found out somewhat recently he has PTSD. He would get so angry and he would physically abuse my brother and he just got in my face sometimes and there was one night that scared the hell out of me. It was the night of my 10th birthday and my father stormed in with a metal bat and destroyed all of my things and said it was my fault for it being messy. My mother has some pretty severe depression and although she has some narcissistic tendencies, I don't know if she is or not.

My brother was the one that started the name-calling. He called me "ret*d" before I was even in 2nd Grade and I didn't realize how personal of an attack that was until much later on. My brother is also a dirty fighter and is willing to get physical with people and he's threatened to kill me a few times.

My sister is an escapist; with all the bull we had (and still have) going on, I don't blame her. I can't really talk with her either; she tries to "one-up" me for little to no reason.

The extended family doesn't really talk to us; I know my aunt thinks I'm a total b***h for not enjoying the company of her already-spoiled 4 year old. The others know me as the deficient child, and when I had regressed entirely, called me names like Megaphone because I would just scream.

I've been bullied in school, mostly by students, but I have had some isolated incidents with teachers. I had just moved to the state I'm in now, which gets tornadoes every now and then. I was from a place which never really got them, so instead of doing my homework on a particular night, I hid desperately in a closet the whole day. I even fell asleep there. This teacher berated me when I told her that's what I did, to which her response was to continue to talk badly about me in front of all the other students. I thought that was really unnecessary, especially considering we were in 6th Grade for crying out loud.

College has treated me better; I seem to attract the forlorn souls though. I just recently reported a friend of mine for suicidal threats and I can't shake the feeling that I have to make her feel better. I suppose that taking care of someone is one way to deal with all the trauma.

I'm sorry to read that. My dad was a drill sergeant in the Marine Corps for many years, before he became my dad. He'd never tell me about stuff he witnessed or did while in the service. He saved those accounts for my first serious boyfriend, whom he tried to persuade to join the military because he was disgusted that the boyfriend had the profession he did. He only seemed to experience "flashbacks" when drunk (most nights when he got home from work), seemed to mumble things about past memories, and then he'd just pass out. He'd justify the emotional and physical abuse with serving the country and being treated like crap for it, etc.

Out of curiosity, what were these narcissistic tendencies of your mother? I don't think my mother has depression but she's so sensationalistic, while at the same time manipulative. It's frightening.

I was emotionally abused throughout school by my peers for my ethnic background (European and Chinese), autism and deafness. I would have slurs such as "ret*d" or "Chinese" yelled at me. I was also regularly beaten up and made to feel worthless. Some classmates would pull the corners of their eyes or imitate the way I spoke and acted because my way of speaking and mannerisms were considered to be odd and eccentric. When I cried, they would laugh. I also had people pretending to be my friends and using me, then turning on me and spreading rumours about me. Have also been cyber bullied where one of my old classmates from primary school added me just to tell me that I was worthless and a freak who deserved nothing. It got to the point where I hated myself for not being able to fit in, my social and communication difficulties; and my Chinese features, and starting questioning my rights to live.

I had some particular teachers who would try to force me to speak in certain situations that I was non-verbal in and would threaten me with phone calls home or detentions. Two used to manipulate the situations and turn them on me which was pretty horrific. I ended up feeling very alone, isolated and defenceless.

Nowadays, I have difficulties with trusting people and don't have any self-confidence.. I'm suspecting that I might have mild depression because once every couple of weeks or so, I have this feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts.

Another interesting post. As someone who is half Caucasian and half Southeast Asian, I want to ask a question: Do you feel that you ever experienced what they call "reverse discrimination" regarding your being ridiculed for your ethnic features?

I ask because I grew up and still live in a state that is largely Hispanic. I did not have problems being treated poorly because of my ethnicity until I went to college. Where I was schooled beforehand was actually fairly diverse and things were not so racialized. When I went to college, in the metropolitan area that is about 80% Hispanic (I'd say my university population was like this too), I was told things by professors that I think would have been utterly denounced where I went to high school. I do look Hispanic and I was called into various offices to apply for programs simply on the assumption that I was Hispanic and therefore, first generation, low income. I correct the professors and tell them my proper ethnicity and a bunch of questions and assumptions were made of me that I think would have caused an uproar if it was directed towards a Hispanic student and concerned Hispanic culture. I went to college on a scholarship that covered most of my tuition. However, it was assumed that I had my education paid for by my father's GI Bill (absolutely not the case. He was unsupportive of my going to college and believed I was not capable of finishing). A professor even went so far as to ask if my mother owned a restaurant or catering business and if she had a business card. Then I was told there were too many Asians in college, we operate on a mentality that weeds out poorer minority groups, and that the wonderful program they called me to apply for was not for me. Now, if I didn't qualify, that's fine, but just calling someone into the office to discuss application only because that person looks Hispanic is wrong to me.

Interestingly, these professors were Caucasian, in their mid-thirties, and claimed to be very progressive. They taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that white and Asian peoples are not permitted to have problems. Additionally, my school was comparably expensive and many of the Hispanic students did come from wealthy families. So, many stereotypical assumptions made.

My mother is manipulative and sensationalistic as well; she's more of an actress. She's a major drama queen but the good Lord help you if you call her on it. My dad loves her dearly and is willing to do anything to protect my mother. Unfortunately, he can't guard her from herself.

She seeks attention a lot; I'm not sure why. My grandmother's a decent lady to me; she's a sharp tack and my mom takes after that. I love her, but she's been pretty nasty to me. She asked us if we wanted to move, and when I said that I didn't, she growled at me, "Well, of course you don't, you're autistic and afraid of change."

It's a messed up relationship.

Dad sometimes caused me pretty intense emotional suffering, and mom had her issues too. But it wasn't like that all the time/always, they just took their stress/depression/whatever out on me.

I have been emotionally abused all my life. Both from my mom, members of my family's older generation, and most peers.

My mom and I yell at each other almost daily. As I write this I am walking to the golden gate bridge.

I don't think there would be many exceptions, even those who were blessed with wise, loving parents. I was not blessed with those, though even that can have positive effects (as well as negative ones). It made me very curious from an early age as to why things were the way they were, why people were the way they were, so careless of the well-being of others, so mindless of the harm they did. It was why I went into psychology as an adult - though the answers I were looking for were not to any great extent found there, rather I learned from people I met in life who were much wiser than myself, who had deeply pondered the human situation. I feel very lucky to have met the most brilliant mentors in the course of my life, who helped me not only resolve my own wounds but gave me their depth and breadth of experience in thinking about things in a wider perspective. Some of these were people with whom I never thought, initially, I would have any common ground - but I have always been open to meeting people from all different walks of life. And they invested so much of their time, care and wisdom in me that I felt I had an obligation to pay it forward, just as they had done for me. That made my life much happier, much more worthwhile and fuller... my early years were tough. Steel, one told me, is forged in the fire.. it gave me strengths and insights I wouldn't otherwise have had. I wouldn't choose it for any child, but that was how my life was to be, and that's how it went. You can't change it, regret is pointless once the mourning is over and safety is achieved. You go on - you have a wisdom of experience that you have paid dearly for, and if you are lucky, you can build on that for your own benefit and for the benefit of others coming after you.

I would just about go as far as to say that there's never been a PERSON who hasn't been emotionally abused at one time or another.

Before I graduated high school, I felt like I was in a constant state of abuse. Even by some teachers. Some teachers just didn't like me; others just were too involved with their own problems. I knew it was inevitable, once I stepped in class/home room, that I would be picked on for some reason. Most of the time, it was "garden-variety" teasing such as being followed around--with a bunch of kids calling me "ret*d," etc. There were times, though (not too often) when I would receive worse abuse--such as getting punched, or (in one instance), having a bunch of kids push their Richards into my face.

I would think that everybody who is seen as "odd" would have emotional/physical abuse inflicted upon them. Sexual abuse is probably somewhat par for the course, too. What is it that causes otherwise "decent" people to want to sexually abuse you? I just don't get it.

There's a dearth of something within many people. I believe, which cause them to want to sexually abuse someone. If that would be revealed, that all hell would break lose. It would be like opening a Pandora's Box.

Things were tense at home because of parents not getting along, and some not so nice things where said to us. When parents conflict they kind of get weird about wanting kids to pick their side over the other ones side, so then they feel betrayed if you seem to get along better with the other or are more on their side so you know just big dramatic mess. We had some decent times but yeah it wasn't the greatest not really emotional abuse though...even so all that arguing/tension wasn't healthy for any of us. Me and my siblings got along and still do for the most part though we've had our conflicts to.

Then at school I got bullied and ostracized a lot and sometimes had teachers more or less in on it, which I think constitutes emotional abuse.

I see my childhood through a very different set of lenses now. Even though - as a foster child/orphan - I was at the very bottom of the heap - we were considered pretty worthless, and no one looked out for us, not even the social workers who were supposed to - they only saw what they wanted to see, and colluded with abusive adults to save themselves work and not rock the boat - I did grow up in a relatively wealthy family, so I was fed and clothed reasonably well, the material things were there. Not much else was. I was the convenient scapegoat for whatever went wrong or whatever bad mood anyone was in - the punching bag, the one who was supposed to be grateful for just a place at the table, however few crumbs came my way. If there were "treats" - like icecream or fresh strawberries, their own son got these; I got a lecture on being grateful! I can laugh at this now; just getting through a day without new bruises was a good day.

Things got better for me when I was 8 and had a new teacher who took a very beneficial interest in me and taught me all she could. She invested in me emotionally and educationally, she smiled when she saw me, and that itself was a very novel and moving experience for me. She gave me a very powerful experience of being valued and loved, as well as teaching me classics which vastly enriched my life. I often wonder how my life would have gone if she had not entered it when she did; the playground bullying was horrible. She gave me a reason to want to live.

Now, all these decades later, I see that I was the lucky child compared to my foster brother. He so totally identified with his very abusive family that it was as if he was in a hypnotic trance for decades, identifying himself with them so much that he couldn't see himself as an independent being. Of course this was always easy for me, not to identify with any of them; so they didn't contaminate me at those deeper psychological levels where children identify with abusive parents because they are the only ones children have to identify with - and it takes a long time to come out of that hypnotic trance (many never do). I identified with cats more than anything or anyone - solitary animals without families who had to look after their own needs. I still do!

Overall, at this advanced age, I can truly say I have had a richer life than any of them; not a particularly easy life, but one full of challenges, interest, and sometimes wonderful experiences and people. Never give up. Never, ever give up. Every day can potentially hold some experience of value or joy, and though many don't, the ones that do are magnified and give you meaning and hope.

I'm glad you've found that special person who took an interest in you.