Annoying habits of neurotypical people

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One thing that annoys me, is how they seem tho think everything one says is some kind of hint or implication. People think I'm giving off hints all the time, while I'm simply just stating facts about something. I've started to tell people that I neither take hints, nor make them. If they still think I'm doing it, it's their problem.

I also outright hate how they're (most of them, with plenty of exceptions, especially in academia) unable to debate a subject without taking personal offense. Back when I studied philosophy and religion, the less "academic-type" students tended to get hurt because I didn't conceal my opinions in classroom debates. For me, a debate (especially an academic one) isn't about people and their personal lives, it's about principles and the subject itself. If I criticize an opinion, I don't criticize the people having the opinion. People can mean and do anything as far as I'm concerned, I'll respect them anyway. But academic discussion isn't about that, it's about the subject. If they want my sympathies or understanding, they should come see me in the lunch break or another time and tell me they want to talk, not debate. If they're not able to separate personal lives from systematic debate, they should stop debating (and/or study something else).

At least the teaching assistants who supervised those debates agreed with me (one of them even said he'd just be glad if I scared some of those people away ), and so did a bunch of others. But that inability to understand that criticism of an opinion doesn't equal criticism of the person holding it, is perhaps the most annoying thing I know about NTs. Not true for all of them though, I know plenty who are up for a good debate without taking personal offense.

It's a social status war zone. So everything is about saying things in a manner that one can back out from. Think about it, a cue is way easier to deny than a statement. The other part of it is to get the information people won't tell you.. through cues.

Doesn't mean it's any good. But true NT people just can't help themselves.



These kind of people have no business in academia. No loss.

In any kind of situation where a matter is to be discussed seriously these kind of people is a burden that is preferable eliminated from the discussion group.

I know, I know Still though, it frustrates me that even people I know well and who certainly don't fit into the other group I mentioned, still have that trait. Even after they've been told (or figured) that I don't make hints, they instinctively interpret everything in that fashion. At times it makes me paranoid enough to scan every outbound sentence for content that might be considered an implication, but the scanner will probably never leave alpha...



I agree, and I'm a rather good eliminator Even made a poor girl cry, once. The Ph.D. candidate who monitored the debate applauded it though, when I asked him if I went too far. He was fed up with the situation himself. But it still made me feel bad; it's not like I want to be an insensitive jerk, I just don't sense it if someone doesn't understand the terms of discussion. And if I sense it, it's usually too late anyway. At least those people usually leave before intermediate classes, for obvious reasons.

Every instinct implies some kind of subconscious process. Which hints that it can be used like computer software loophole. Next time think up something that you can make NTs "feel" and a way to feed that into the interaction.

As for the paranoia. With NTs that's natural. The cure is usually to stay away from them or interact with people that doesn't matter. Ie people you don't have to see on a regular basis.

Hm... I've been looking for a good final project for my programming 101 course, due this July (I switched careers after realizing my previous education only qualified me as a teacher...). I think you gave me the answer! "Subconscious backdoor analyzer with feeling injector" - better than my last idea of "Student registry cracker with exam result autocorrector", which would probably have me expelled.

On a more serious note, I know what you mean. I've been successful in doing that with women, for some reason. Too bad I didn't realize I was creating the feelings normally created by well... trustworthy friends. Now I have a bunch of close female friends who confide in me for advise (absurd, really), but wouldn't dream of having a relationship with me (and if they did, I wouldn't notice anyhow). I keep falling for some of them, of course. One of them tells me I understand women better than most of her female friends (except reading body language), but that it'll probably leave me single for life, since I'm unable to read the signs of them trying to bring it further. I partly suspect she tried, but if so, it's too late (I do register some hints, but my paranoia usually tells me to ignore them in case they're not there - my one relationship was initiated by the girl getting fed up by hinting, so she used clear language. And my abnormally infatuated self couldn't really be misinterpreted). And, of course, most women don't want to lose close friends by romancing them. Uplifting.



Yeah, I do that when needed. After moving a few years ago, I've pretty much kept my friends where I lived before, and not bothered with getting new ones. I visit them two-three times a year, and the rest of the time I keep mostly to myself. That way I have more energy (which isn't very much) than when I was more social. I guess that will change somewhat over time, now that I'm back to university, but I'm deliberately not doing very much to build a new network. I'm satisfied with my old one, since they've at least partially figured me out. You'd think there were plenty of aspies in technology studies, but believe me, there are way more in philosophy and religion, especially if you count the sub-clinical ones...

Yes, also attaching shades of meaning to words just on the impression of the word, not on its actual meaning. It's almost comical seeing some of the disagreements between people that erupt as a result, unless you happen to be one of the people involved.

I think they suffer from the word synesthesia giving them irrelevant emotions
And of course blaming others for said emotions..



Religion is too irrational for me to bother with. Philosophy could be something however



If they won't risk to break the friendship, then give them a slight ultimatum relationship etc. Or even just start to require a hug.. little more next time etc talk about this other girl that gives you long hugs....

Last edited by Keyman on 21 Apr 2012, 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I hate NT's being so noisy.illogical (mostly young NT's) and unemphatic to those different from them (including people on the autism spectrum)

Well, some religions are heavily based upon philosophy, and the rationality of them would hinge on philosophical considerations. One nice thing with being an ex-philosopher is to know that nothing is certain, including the current, widespread view of rationality. Personally, I can't entirely accept any world view that places the entire truth on one horse (or whatever the metaphor was), be it empirism, religious texts or ancient Greek rationalism (as in anti-empirism). I'm one of those people who don't agree with anyone, and if I happen to do so, I pretend I don't. But that's an entirely different discussion, so I'll save it

I have to admit, though, that the girl I made cry professed to one of the less... rational religions. I have problems with those, and they usually have problems with me. She thought I was evil for messing with her beliefs. But hey, that's the purpose of university-level religion studies.

Maybe I should specify that to organized religion. There might be more than the rational world, but to know for sure either way or how is the hard one.

I don't understand why women go mad when it comes to shopping (not literally). Every time I'm trying to look for/at something in a shop, a woman always creeps up from behind me and stands there, invading my personal space, and then they manage to push their way in front of me just to look at one item, instead of waiting their turn, or, if they're just browsing about and not intending to actually buy anything then why not look elsewhere until I have gone? Sometimes I've pretended not to see them, and I've delibrately stepped back right into them and said, ''oh, sorry'', trying to give them a non-verbal message saying ''well, you shouldn't have been standing right up close to me!'' One time some woman crept up from behind me and almost put her chin on my shoulder, and that really pissed me off so much that I walked away.

Men, however, are much more tolerable in shops. They don't stand right next to me and they don't make me feel claustrophobic or agitated, and they don't push me out of their way just to look at an item. They usually stand at least a few centimetres away but can still see what they're looking at, and move closer to it when I've moved on, and if they wanted to get right to it they just smile and say quickly, ''sorry, can I just get that, thanks'', and they don't cause a fuss and they don't make you feel awkward. When a woman wants to get to where I'm standing, they make me feel like I'm more in their way than what I really am.

Telling people on the spectrum to toughen up.

True, one hell of a gamble (no pun intended) no matter which belief system (or lack of thereof) one chooses. Or quasi-qualified guess, at best. But the quasi-qualified guesses may very well be within the limits of rationality, including some organized religion (or some parts of some organized religious bodies... etc etc). Generalizations are, in general, wrong. And by saying that, I just generalized generalizations, the implications of which are giving me a headache.



That's why I have problems getting my hair cut. When I was a child, I had a hypersensitive scalp. Now, I'm hypersensitive to female bodies. I'm extremely tense from the minute I get into the chair until I leave. If they bump into me, I startle, and I don't always manage to suppress it. Annoying, and a bit embarrassing if they notice. A hairdresser once did (I think), and exploited the situation. I walked out with wrecked nerves, an overly fancy haircut, expensive grooming products and $200 less on my credit card. At least people liked the haircut.

When an NT makes me feel like I am intolerable because I am quiet. As a child and adult I have moved around and lived overseas and I have learned to have an open mind and make friends with different kinds of people. As a kid I was quiet and shy and would usually make one or two good friends in school. I make an effort to be open minded and I do appreciate when people I meet and interact with do the same.

Words cannot express how much I agree with this. Being bullied every day despite trying your best to stand up to them and then your family constantly telling you it was partly your fault for being so weak even though you kept trying your hardest to "toughen up" was one of my worst experiences growing up.

What REALLY gets me is the social norm of not speaking up when something is unjust. Often, something unfair will have an obvious and easy solution, but NTs still claim that "life ain't fair" and would rather dance around the issue/be shallow than do anything about it.